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AIBU?

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To think size 18 is plus size and not 'hardly plus size'

1000 replies

sanddownthatwall · 22/08/2022 00:09

The poster, with a very large following, is saying a size 18 isn't really plus size by much, and that 'most people (in the UK), are above a Size 16?

Really? I don't know that many people above a size 16. I really don't. I know lots and lots of size 12/14 and thought that was about average? It's usually the first sizes to sell out

www.instagram.com/p/ChiDp-1Mos3/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=

OP posts:
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17
TheyreOnlyNoodlesMichael · 22/08/2022 16:01

Why is this? Why do so many women think that being obese allows them to say such horrible things to women who aren’t?

You've tried throughout this thread to paint yourself as this super calm, reasonable person who is just oh-so-worried about the poor fat fuckers. It's quite transparent, despite your best efforts.

Mumsnet is awash with threads like these. They used to be few and far between but over the years it's every day there's a new thread, slightly differently worded, but basically inviting bored people on the internet to come and comment on other peoples bodies, whilst hiding their disgusting behind a veil of 'concern'. There is no concern here, there never has been. Maybe you and your "concerned" chums should worry about yourselves. It's very telling that you are policing what the "obese women" are saying to you. Does it hurt your feelings?

Rosehugger · 22/08/2022 16:02

I do wonder whether those type of decisions are coming

@Lineala If we go down the route of people paying (more) for treatment or not being treated because of lifestyle then those in deprived areas will end up paying more or not being treated, and surely that can never be right?

CanDo92 · 22/08/2022 16:02

ladydimitrescu · 22/08/2022 15:50

No @CanDo92 - it makes no difference to YOU Hmm

Well, unless you end up sitting next to them on a long flight.

Lineala · 22/08/2022 16:06

Rosehugger · 22/08/2022 16:02

I do wonder whether those type of decisions are coming

@Lineala If we go down the route of people paying (more) for treatment or not being treated because of lifestyle then those in deprived areas will end up paying more or not being treated, and surely that can never be right?

No it absolutely isn't right, but we've already seen doctors having to make those type of decisions during covid. There weren't enough ventilators, so how do you think clinical decisions are made?

Rosehugger · 22/08/2022 16:07

Why this implication that people who are a healthy weight are more likely to be a “nasty bitch”?

@CanDo92 There was no such implication in the post by @ladydimitrescu Read it again.

Perhaps you can also find some statistics on how a failure to be able to read and understand the English language correlates with earnings.

lockedonyou · 22/08/2022 16:09

@CanDo92 Again, one last time, it isn't the same as saying about the smoking issue. As there's obvious connections between eating too much and stressful, high paid jobs. Obviously there is - too tired to cook properly, no time to prep, too busy to come up with new meal ideas. Late home. The list goes on

It just makes obvious sense why someone who feels so busy would put on a lot of weight under stress with limited time due to work commitments

Rosehugger · 22/08/2022 16:10

No it absolutely isn't right, but we've already seen doctors having to make those type of decisions during covid. There weren't enough ventilators, so how do you think clinical decisions are made?

I'd hope that clinicians put those in greatest need on a ventilator, and didn't get a measuring tape and a set of scales out first @Lineala

CanDo92 · 22/08/2022 16:11

Rosehugger · 22/08/2022 16:07

Why this implication that people who are a healthy weight are more likely to be a “nasty bitch”?

@CanDo92 There was no such implication in the post by @ladydimitrescu Read it again.

Perhaps you can also find some statistics on how a failure to be able to read and understand the English language correlates with earnings.

I don’t agree, that was clearly the implication. It never takes long on threads like these for people to start insulting people who are a healthy weight, while it’s very rare to see it the other way round.

CanDo92 · 22/08/2022 16:14

Rosehugger · 22/08/2022 16:10

No it absolutely isn't right, but we've already seen doctors having to make those type of decisions during covid. There weren't enough ventilators, so how do you think clinical decisions are made?

I'd hope that clinicians put those in greatest need on a ventilator, and didn't get a measuring tape and a set of scales out first @Lineala

When ventilators were scarce the decision had to be based on who was more likely to benefit from it, which often came down to who would survive. It was rational in those cases to take account of all relative factors, which included sex, age, pre-existing conditions and also whether or not the patient was obese.

Lineala · 22/08/2022 16:15

Rosehugger · 22/08/2022 16:10

No it absolutely isn't right, but we've already seen doctors having to make those type of decisions during covid. There weren't enough ventilators, so how do you think clinical decisions are made?

I'd hope that clinicians put those in greatest need on a ventilator, and didn't get a measuring tape and a set of scales out first @Lineala

But what if you have two people with equal clinical need and one is normal bmi and one is morbidly obese? These type of ethical questions are interesting.

It's the same with age too. The same question can be posed, or one's a smoker, etc.

CanDo92 · 22/08/2022 16:17

TheyreOnlyNoodlesMichael · 22/08/2022 16:01

Why is this? Why do so many women think that being obese allows them to say such horrible things to women who aren’t?

You've tried throughout this thread to paint yourself as this super calm, reasonable person who is just oh-so-worried about the poor fat fuckers. It's quite transparent, despite your best efforts.

Mumsnet is awash with threads like these. They used to be few and far between but over the years it's every day there's a new thread, slightly differently worded, but basically inviting bored people on the internet to come and comment on other peoples bodies, whilst hiding their disgusting behind a veil of 'concern'. There is no concern here, there never has been. Maybe you and your "concerned" chums should worry about yourselves. It's very telling that you are policing what the "obese women" are saying to you. Does it hurt your feelings?

Are you ok hun? You don’t seem happy.

What you find disgusting isn’t really of concern to others. Can I suggest that you pay more attention to your own life, and stop being so judgemental of others?

5128gap · 22/08/2022 16:18

CanDo92 · 22/08/2022 15:44

You really seem to have a major issue with people who are a healthy weight.

You don’t seem to be alone in that either. I find it very sad..

Hardly. I'm 8 stone 12 and 5' 4". So there goes another of your theories.

Justine878 · 22/08/2022 16:22

I think that obesity is a massive problem for our country, and the knock on effect on the NHS and for individuals in terms of life expectancy/quality of life/general access to employment/opportunities is extensive.

I also believe that shame as a motivator for losing weight doesn't work. And I believe (some) people enjoy cutting down obese people because it makes them feel superior. I believe that if people are accepted for who they are, healthy change is more possible.

I think that obesity has a distinct relationship to mental health, and I believe it can be linked with addiction/compulsive behaviours. I believe it is linked to disruptive factors in childhood (ACES), I believe it is linked to low self esteem. I believe it is linked to chronic stress.

I think anyone lecturing on the irresponsibility of obesity are often wilfully blind to the nature and the complexity of the root causes of obesity.

People who are happy and obese are usually happy despite their obesity. But they aren't allowed to be happy. Society constantly reminds them they are undesirable (And by this a mean I small, but relentless part of society)

I'm not educated beyond what I look to learn and I'm sure someone will come along and rip this post to shreds. I have listened to enough idiots today not to care.

Some posters on mumsnet seems incapable of understanding ambivalence about complicated topics for discussion. Some posters are incapable of understanding, or intentionally choose to ignore nuance. Some posters intend to hurt others.

Obesity should be discussed by the educated, or the experienced. That's where understanding lies.

ExtraOnion · 22/08/2022 16:22

If being overweight kills me .. so what, something has to.

of course I gave too many calories … this is why I’m fat, but I’m not say round all day, crying because I’m fat.

I don’t need your advice, your judgment, your sympathy, or anything else.

CanDo92 · 22/08/2022 16:28

5128gap · 22/08/2022 16:18

Hardly. I'm 8 stone 12 and 5' 4". So there goes another of your theories.

Yes, and you are also a very successful businesswoman and all three of your children went to Oxford. I’m impressed. Well-done you.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 22/08/2022 16:30

When ventilators were scarce the decision had to be based on who was more likely to benefit from it, which often came down to who would survive. It was rational in those cases to take account of all relative factors, which included sex, age, pre-existing conditions and also whether or not the patient was obese

Accurately put once again, but when Covid hit and obesity was deemed a risk in this as in so much else, it was interesting to see the number of comments around "I'm definitely going to lose weight now" - presumably mostly from folk genuinely able to control their weight, because if health issues meant they couldn't they'd probably never have said it

Interesting, too, how quickly this turned into excuses about lack of exercise opportunities and the claim that weight gain was inevitable ... almost as if eating less to compensate wasn't an option

Paq · 22/08/2022 16:32

ExtraOnion · 22/08/2022 16:22

If being overweight kills me .. so what, something has to.

of course I gave too many calories … this is why I’m fat, but I’m not say round all day, crying because I’m fat.

I don’t need your advice, your judgment, your sympathy, or anything else.

It's not when you die, it's how you live before you die. My SIL has spent the last 10 years not being able to put her own shoes on, not being able to enjoy the simplest of activities with her family, spiralling ill health, pain and discomfort. She fell over two weeks ago and had to wait 2 hours for someone to come and help her up, by which time she had wet herself.

She'll probably live another 10 years or so like that. She's miserable.

When she was 50 she was a bit plump and could have turned it round. At 60 it was harder. By 70 it was impossible.

HinchcliffeandMurgatroyd · 22/08/2022 16:35

CanDo92 · 22/08/2022 16:28

Yes, and you are also a very successful businesswoman and all three of your children went to Oxford. I’m impressed. Well-done you.

I’ve lost track of what’s what here but if we are still looking for a so-called “nasty bitch”, I’ve found one.

collosalbrainbearer · 22/08/2022 16:35

Are you ok hun? You don’t seem happy.
What you find disgusting isn’t really of concern to others. Can I suggest that you pay more attention to your own life, and stop being so judgemental of others?

Stop crying because pp called you bored, she's right. 😭I'm not overweight (8-10), by the way, but you sound like a judgemental madam. There's a reason why body image threads always get so many posts, this one is 700+. It's a free shot at other people under the (completely transparent) guise of concern.

gatehouseoffleet · 22/08/2022 16:35

Lineala · 22/08/2022 16:06

No it absolutely isn't right, but we've already seen doctors having to make those type of decisions during covid. There weren't enough ventilators, so how do you think clinical decisions are made?

Those sort of decisions were not being made in the UK. There were enough ventilators. There may have been different experiences in other countries, eg in Italy right at the beginning.

That doesn't mean that being obese is sensible though. If you want to have a healthy life and have the best chance of not being a burden on your kids, you do your best to keep within a reasonable weight range. However, lockdowns didn't exactly help with exercise options, along with stupid rules in some countries/devolved nations about who you could exercise with and how far away from home you could be. But lockdowns are way in the past now, thank goodness, so they're not an excuse for not starting to exercise now.

MooseBreath · 22/08/2022 16:35

I am 5'2 (so short) and a 14-16 in tops. That said, I am not particularly overweight. I wear a 34G bra, and nothing from the high street fits both my bust and relatively average waist. An 18 doesn't sound particularly big to me, depending on body type. I can imagine women with large hips or bum and a smaller waist would have this issue in trousers.

Heartrate · 22/08/2022 16:38

gatehouseoffleet · 22/08/2022 16:35

Those sort of decisions were not being made in the UK. There were enough ventilators. There may have been different experiences in other countries, eg in Italy right at the beginning.

That doesn't mean that being obese is sensible though. If you want to have a healthy life and have the best chance of not being a burden on your kids, you do your best to keep within a reasonable weight range. However, lockdowns didn't exactly help with exercise options, along with stupid rules in some countries/devolved nations about who you could exercise with and how far away from home you could be. But lockdowns are way in the past now, thank goodness, so they're not an excuse for not starting to exercise now.

Being obese did increase your chances of needing ventilation (and dying) though, which is surely something you'd take steps to avoid if you could.

Lily073 · 22/08/2022 16:47

Rosehugger · 22/08/2022 16:02

I do wonder whether those type of decisions are coming

@Lineala If we go down the route of people paying (more) for treatment or not being treated because of lifestyle then those in deprived areas will end up paying more or not being treated, and surely that can never be right?

Then should we also be making parents who have chosen to have multiple children pay for care and offering better care to people who have contributed more to the pot? What about people who have delayed presenting to an HCP until their cancer is at an advanced stage because they chose to ignore their symptoms?

Oilyoilyoilgob · 22/08/2022 17:49

Ithinkitsenoughnow · 22/08/2022 14:37

I’m trying to lose weight from my 3rd pregnancy and I didn’t have the Apple Watch with the other 2 - this is making me SO much more aware of why weight doesn’t come off or does from one week to the next! I find it very motivating. I think everyone should get one if possible (Fitbit or whatever possible). I’ve lost 3 stone after each pregnancy. It’s hard but it’s very much possible it just takes understanding and hard work/determination. I have 2 stone left to go with this one and I find it gets easier because the more you lose the more results motivate you on/the fitter you are and the less hungry/fewer cravings.

Wow, well done on a 3 stone loss-I know personally what it takes to do that so I’m sending a massive virtual high five! You’ll smash the other two stone-like you said with tracking it’s easier to control cals in vs out and see how many you’ve burned if you exercise.

I said to my husband at the gym while we were on the treadmill-I can’t imagine doing this carrying a two stone backpack, but I was doing that up to the start of Covid in regards to my extra body weight. Mine was a gradual increase from good living (!) and not enough moving and I didn’t really notice how fat I’d got because I gained it slowly. It’s a lot more effort to get it off 😅
Well done on your weight loss so far, that’s awesome 👏🏻

5128gap · 22/08/2022 17:50

CanDo92 · 22/08/2022 16:28

Yes, and you are also a very successful businesswoman and all three of your children went to Oxford. I’m impressed. Well-done you.

Interesting that you consider having a healthy BMI as an achievement on a par with successful business and academic excellence, and that you bristle at the thought of someone else having one. You just keep proving me right don't you?

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