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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with DP because he didn't order me a pizza?

408 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 21/08/2022 03:26

DP and I weren't planning to see each other this weekend as we just spent a week together and he left to go home earlier this week, so we were going to see each other next weekend.

However, DP arranged a night out with his friends to watch the boxing match (his friends live close to where I live so they often go out in a town that's a lot closer to my house than his own) and subsequently realised that the trains were striking. He said he could get out to the town he was meeting his mates in by bus, but asked me if he could crash at mine tonight after the night out, as my house is in walking distance from the town whereas to get back to his own house without a train would take ages.

I agreed to him staying here. We talked on the phone before he went out and he said he was planning on getting a takeaway pizza on way home. I said I really fancied a pizza and he said he would get me one too. I told him what I wanted and asked him to get potato wedges, garlic dip etc...I was really looking forward to it. I thought it would be really nice when he arrived for us to have pizza together and chill out. I didn't eat much all evening, in expectation of the pizza.

Anyway, at about 11:30 I felt quite tired so laid down, and actually ended up falling asleep. I was woken up at 3am when DP arrived back from night out. He came in and didn't have any pizza with him so I said 'where's the pizza?' He said 'oh, well I've ordered myself one, its on its way.' I said 'what about mine?' He said 'well I called you to see if you were awake and you didn't answer so I assumed you were asleep and didn't get you one.'

I'm actually really pissed off. It was a firm agreement that he was bringing back pizza for both of us, he knew I was excited about it, I had given him my order of what I wanted...even though I was asleep and didn't answer, AIBU to expect him get me a pizza anyway, thinking I probably would wake up, be hungry and want the pizza I was promised, like I have done!? Or am I being pathetic to be so pissed off with him?

He's now downstairs enjoying his pizza that arrived two mins ago while I lay on my bed hungry and annoyed!

OP posts:
JustKittenAround · 21/08/2022 14:08

Why do people assume she’d eat an entire pizza in one sitting? Do you not have a slice or two and save the rest? I’m alarmed by how many people act like scarfing down the entire thing is how people eat.

Also are air fryers not a thing with most people? Throw cold wedges or pizza one and it’ll crisp right up!

id be disappointed as well OP. He should gladly make it up to you, or I’d be done. If I expect something then it better show up. I think it’s gross of him to come over with only food for himself.

CornishGem1975 · 21/08/2022 14:11

It's not really normal to be this upset over a 3 am pizza.

mountainsunsets · 21/08/2022 14:16

Why do people assume she’d eat an entire pizza in one sitting? Do you not have a slice or two and save the rest? I’m alarmed by how many people act like scarfing down the entire thing is how people eat.

Why is that alarming 😂I can easily eat an entire pizza plus sides in one sitting!

rocketfromthecrypt · 21/08/2022 14:18

mountainsunsets · 21/08/2022 14:16

Why do people assume she’d eat an entire pizza in one sitting? Do you not have a slice or two and save the rest? I’m alarmed by how many people act like scarfing down the entire thing is how people eat.

Why is that alarming 😂I can easily eat an entire pizza plus sides in one sitting!

Ah but this is Mumsnet. If you admit to eating more than one portion of steamed fish and veg a day, you're an obese monster and the reason the NHS is on its knees.

mountainsunsets · 21/08/2022 14:21

rocketfromthecrypt · 21/08/2022 14:18

Ah but this is Mumsnet. If you admit to eating more than one portion of steamed fish and veg a day, you're an obese monster and the reason the NHS is on its knees.

Show quote history

A whole portion of steamed veg and fish in a day?

Some people are so greedy.

CaptainCorellisXylophone · 21/08/2022 14:26

Way late to this party, but if someone woke me up at 3:00am and offered me pizza they would be told very firmly to fuck off. Why in god's name would you ask someone to do this?

Original poster
PinkStarAtNight · 21/08/2022 14:29

FirewomanSam · 21/08/2022 08:16

Can’t believe all the YABU votes! This isn’t about whether other people would want to eat pizza at 3am, it’s about the fact that you’d specifically asked for something and he didn’t get it. Even if you were asleep and didn’t want it, you could have had it the next day. I wouldn’t dream of deciding ‘oh they probably don’t want it now’ if I had promised to get someone something.

And I have had pizza delivered at 5am before 😳 back in my youthful drinking heyday that was very normal! It’s not unusual at all (whether is a good idea or a healthy thing to do is another matter, but it’s certainly not unusual!)

Yes this is more the issue

I wouldn't have wanted to be woken up at 3am. Ideally I would have liked to have been left asleep and then have the pizza for breakfast or lunch

Once I was awake I was obviously starving so yes I would have appreciated a couple of slices of pizza (wouldn't have eaten the whole thing)

I didn't intentionally starve myself until 3am. I didn't eat much until about 11am. I laid down for a nap thinking he'd be back in half an hour, perhaps midnight at the latest, and then ending up falling properly asleep and being woken at 3am when he got back, having missed his calls.

So everyone saying I starved myself until 3am and then wanted to eat a full pizza and wedges, that's not what I meant.

I was mostly annoyed that he didn't follow through with what he said when he knew I was looking forward to a pizza (which WAS a treat as I've been healthy all week) and he knows I like pizza for breakfast or lunch.

I don't have to explain or justify my eating habits or relationship with food so I'm not even going to bother replying specifically to those comments.

Anyway the comments about me overreacting have made me see that maybe it wasn't such a big deal and DP and I are fine now.

OP posts:
Glitteratitar · 21/08/2022 14:41

But he called you to see if you still wanted to stick to the plan. And you didn’t answer. So as far as he was aware, the plan had changed because you were fast asleep. So it’s you that changed the plan.

shazzybazzy34 · 21/08/2022 14:43

PinkStarAtNight · 21/08/2022 14:29

Yes this is more the issue

I wouldn't have wanted to be woken up at 3am. Ideally I would have liked to have been left asleep and then have the pizza for breakfast or lunch

Once I was awake I was obviously starving so yes I would have appreciated a couple of slices of pizza (wouldn't have eaten the whole thing)

I didn't intentionally starve myself until 3am. I didn't eat much until about 11am. I laid down for a nap thinking he'd be back in half an hour, perhaps midnight at the latest, and then ending up falling properly asleep and being woken at 3am when he got back, having missed his calls.

So everyone saying I starved myself until 3am and then wanted to eat a full pizza and wedges, that's not what I meant.

I was mostly annoyed that he didn't follow through with what he said when he knew I was looking forward to a pizza (which WAS a treat as I've been healthy all week) and he knows I like pizza for breakfast or lunch.

I don't have to explain or justify my eating habits or relationship with food so I'm not even going to bother replying specifically to those comments.

Anyway the comments about me overreacting have made me see that maybe it wasn't such a big deal and DP and I are fine now.

Show quote history

Did you not know what time the boxing match was on at?

Thornethorn · 21/08/2022 14:45

I would have assumed you didn't want one too.

Different if he hadn't called to check.

Hobeau · 21/08/2022 14:46

Ideally I would have liked to have been left asleep and then have the pizza for breakfast or lunch

🤮 Congealed Dominos for breakfast.

If someone woke me up at 3AM with a pizza, I'd think they had lost the plot completely, and would not thank them for it.

At least you accept that you're being unreasonable, OP, and all is well now between you and your DP.

CornishGem1975 · 21/08/2022 14:50

In that case, could you not just have had a couple of slices of his pizza? It's not unreasonable to share one.

FirewomanSam · 21/08/2022 14:52

CornishGem1975 · 21/08/2022 14:50

In that case, could you not just have had a couple of slices of his pizza? It's not unreasonable to share one.

OP already explained that she is veggie and his pizza had meat on it.

Youdoyoutoday · 21/08/2022 14:57

Who wakes up to eat pizza at 3am??

FirewomanSam · 21/08/2022 14:59

The question here isn’t about whether OP is wrong to eat pizza at 3am or eat a whole pizza or eat pizza for breakfast or, indeed, eat pizza at all, or any of the other things people are getting so hung up on. It’s about whether her boyfriend should have taken it upon himself to decide that she wouldn’t want something that she had specifically asked him for and that he had specifically agreed to get her.

I’d have felt exactly the same as OP (my 3am pizza days are long behind me now but this definitely could have been me 15 years ago!) If I was looking forward to something and my partner decided that he knew better and that I wouldn’t want it after all, I’d be gutted!

Anyway, I’m glad you made up OP and you can understand his train of thought (at least he was trying to do the right thing rather than just being thoughtless or selfish) and he won’t make the same mistake again!

Original poster
PinkStarAtNight · 21/08/2022 15:11

SunnyD44 · 21/08/2022 10:18

Someone else used the term 'overeater'.

Also OP herself says she’s what’s called a compulsive over eater - that’s not an offensive term if that’s what her GP calls it.

I know I said I wasnt going to reply to comments like these but that was before i read the full thread. These comments are just inaccurate.

I have not been diagnosed with an eating disorder. I have not ever used the term compulsive eater to describe myself and neither has my GP. I attended doctors appointments and had tests because I was experiencing a range of symptoms. All tests came back normal, so my GP concluded that my symptoms are likely caused by a combination of anxiety, being on the contraceptive pill, and the fact that I have put on weight in the last two years. The GP offered me a free trail of a Weightwatchers and I took it as I would like to slim down. Its a while ago now, but as far as I can remember I posted on the diet thread saying I was disappointed that I was finding it hard to stick to my diet.

I don't recall describing myself as a 'compulsive eater' or having an eating disorder and my GP has not said this.

And even if I did have an eating disorder, as @Sparklfairy said that has nothing to do with eating at 3am or any other time that others find weird. People eat at all sorts of different times that others find strange - it doesn't mean they have an eating disorder.

Also, as I've have clarified I never said I WANTED to eat at 3am

What happens to people to make them this horrible?

OP posts:
Dogscanteatonions · 21/08/2022 15:16

I would TOTALLY eat pizza after being woken at 3am and eat it for breakfast too. Yanbu op

babyfrenchie · 21/08/2022 15:17

He thought you were asleep!!! Get a grip!

SidSparrow · 21/08/2022 15:20

@Picklypickles

I agree!!! The deal was done, then he assumed, decided for partner, that she no longer wanted it or needed it. Ok, it's a pizza, but in her head that was what was happening. I'd be irked but that's about it.

Notanotherwindow · 21/08/2022 15:48

Why didn't he just ring and ask for another one when he realised you still wanted one?

skippy67 · 21/08/2022 16:10

The OP answered this in a previous post.

Caniplssssss · 21/08/2022 16:12

I think this one is neither here nor there. I can't vote.

I see both POV and myself probably would have gotten you one anyway with the idea that you could heat it up if you were asleep and didn't want it until the next day but I also don't think he did anything ridiculously unreasonable either.

Caniplssssss · 21/08/2022 16:14

Personally in your shoes I'd have just eaten something at home (or ordered my own pizza) when it was evident he wasn't going to be back until late. I'd have sent him a quick text saying I'm really hungry so going to get my pizza now, no rush though see you later or something.

No way would I have just sat there all night starving waiting until the early hours for him to bring me pizza.

Plans change, I really don't think this is that awful.

Caniplssssss · 21/08/2022 16:17

Also lol at eating "a slice or two" and saving the rest 😂

Hawkins001 · 21/08/2022 16:42

This sounds like the thing dan would do, not sure if anyone's seen them dan and Lucy food hacks/loopholes on youtube.

I guess next time have the explicit instructions agreed apon in case of x, he does x, etc