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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with DP because he didn't order me a pizza?

408 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 21/08/2022 03:26

DP and I weren't planning to see each other this weekend as we just spent a week together and he left to go home earlier this week, so we were going to see each other next weekend.

However, DP arranged a night out with his friends to watch the boxing match (his friends live close to where I live so they often go out in a town that's a lot closer to my house than his own) and subsequently realised that the trains were striking. He said he could get out to the town he was meeting his mates in by bus, but asked me if he could crash at mine tonight after the night out, as my house is in walking distance from the town whereas to get back to his own house without a train would take ages.

I agreed to him staying here. We talked on the phone before he went out and he said he was planning on getting a takeaway pizza on way home. I said I really fancied a pizza and he said he would get me one too. I told him what I wanted and asked him to get potato wedges, garlic dip etc...I was really looking forward to it. I thought it would be really nice when he arrived for us to have pizza together and chill out. I didn't eat much all evening, in expectation of the pizza.

Anyway, at about 11:30 I felt quite tired so laid down, and actually ended up falling asleep. I was woken up at 3am when DP arrived back from night out. He came in and didn't have any pizza with him so I said 'where's the pizza?' He said 'oh, well I've ordered myself one, its on its way.' I said 'what about mine?' He said 'well I called you to see if you were awake and you didn't answer so I assumed you were asleep and didn't get you one.'

I'm actually really pissed off. It was a firm agreement that he was bringing back pizza for both of us, he knew I was excited about it, I had given him my order of what I wanted...even though I was asleep and didn't answer, AIBU to expect him get me a pizza anyway, thinking I probably would wake up, be hungry and want the pizza I was promised, like I have done!? Or am I being pathetic to be so pissed off with him?

He's now downstairs enjoying his pizza that arrived two mins ago while I lay on my bed hungry and annoyed!

OP posts:
SalmonEile · 21/08/2022 11:44

CecilyP · 21/08/2022 11:38

so eating pizza at 3am is ok if you’re drinking ?

I don’t think it’s great for anyone, but the difference is he was awake and walking to OP’s house. I don’t think many people wake up in the middle of the night and eat a big meal, or any sort of meal, to be Frank.

Well that’s your preference and that’s fine for you,
if I were the OP and I was going to be woken at 3am anyway I’d rather be woken with the pizza than not and then I could decide if I wanted it or not
if I’ve gone to bed , in my pjs etc I’d probably go back to sleep
if I’d fallen asleep on the couch I’d probably have a piece or two while my DP ate his and talked a bit about his night or whatever
that’s me though everyone is different and it sounds like OP would’ve liked it then

Picklypickles · 21/08/2022 11:44

People eat all sorts of things at all sorts of times, what's it to anyone else when a stranger wants to eat pizza? My dp's cousin works late 6 days a week and isn't home til gone midnight, she then likes to spend a couple of hours winding down and watching tv/playing games and shock horror having something to eat before going to sleep. I personally don't have the same lifestyle but I don't see it as my place to judge what she or anyone else does or when they might want pizza!

The point of this thread is her dp said he would get her something that she specifically requested and then didn't but still sorted himself out.

USaYwHatNow · 21/08/2022 11:47

Pizza is sacred in our house. I'd be royally pissed off to not receive a pizza/be woken up and presented with a pizza/be advised that there was pizza for breakfast upon waking in the morning 😂

thelongconmom · 21/08/2022 11:48

Newmumatlast · 21/08/2022 06:05

Where do you live that places are still open for pizza to be ordered and delivered after 3am?

Completely normal in large cities.
It's one of the few reasons I'd question rural living. We have 24 hour everything withing half hour walking distance of our house. So five mins drive.

Dasher789 · 21/08/2022 11:55

I think you seem annoyed about something else and this is tipping you over the edge. I can see why he wouldnt bring you a pizza and wedges back at 3am if it seemed you were asleep. Pizza can be reheated but if you had planned to eat together its not the same and i wouldnt reheat wedges. If its a huge problem, id just call another. The weirdest thing for me though is getting up at 3am for a pizza?! Surely just let him in and go back to bed?!

ClearestBlue · 21/08/2022 11:57

YABU. It was 3am and to hell with waiting up for my DP to come back so I can eat.

ColdLasagna99 · 21/08/2022 11:58

Now I really want a Domino’s.

SalmonEile · 21/08/2022 11:59

Same @ColdLasagna99 same hehe

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/08/2022 12:16

I would say you were NOT being unreasonable if your complaint were you were woken up at 3am for pizza or perhaps if DP had not phoned beforehand to check whether you still wanted one / were awake

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/08/2022 12:16

Your DP therefore WNBU

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/08/2022 12:32

RelationshipOrNot · 21/08/2022 11:27

In this situation, I'd expect to wake up and have mine cold for breakfast. I'd be upset if he'd made the decision for me that I no longer wanted it.

@RelationshipOrNot

you’d be upset?

would you really?

why?

RelationshipOrNot · 21/08/2022 12:36

Yes, for three reasons: one, I'd have been looking forward to it - I don't get takeaway pizza very often and it would be a treat; two, like I said, that he'd just made a different decision on my behalf after I'd made my position perfectly clear; three, I'm autistic and get very upset if something I think is going to happen suddenly isn't. Even without considering that, I think the first two reasons are perfectly sound.

stuntbubbles · 21/08/2022 12:48

OneTonNoodles · 21/08/2022 11:36

YANBU

I don't understand the 3am pizza eating obsession on this thread. Even if OP was asleep, Pizza tastes fantastic the next day.

OP your partner was thoughtless.

Nice pizza tastes wonderful the day after. The kind of pizza you can get at 3am with accompanying wedges and garlic dip is barely edible when you order it, let alone as leftovers.

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/08/2022 12:51

RelationshipOrNot · 21/08/2022 12:36

Yes, for three reasons: one, I'd have been looking forward to it - I don't get takeaway pizza very often and it would be a treat; two, like I said, that he'd just made a different decision on my behalf after I'd made my position perfectly clear; three, I'm autistic and get very upset if something I think is going to happen suddenly isn't. Even without considering that, I think the first two reasons are perfectly sound.

@RelationshipOrNot

if you were looking forward to it that much you could just order it when you actually want it rather than waiting for your partner

most people would not want to be woken at 3am for pizza even if the day before they had same they had wanted pizza

RelationshipOrNot · 21/08/2022 13:00

I did say I'd have it for breakfast, not that I'd expect him to wake me up. I know I could order it, it's more that he'd said he would and then didn't. I don't think it's weird to be upset if you were expecting something to happen and then all of a sudden are told that it's not happening, even though I know I get more upset than the average person about that. But surely it's normal to be disappointed and frustrated to have something you were looking forward to snatched away on someone else's say-so.

Glitteratitar · 21/08/2022 13:05

Dasher789 · 21/08/2022 11:55

I think you seem annoyed about something else and this is tipping you over the edge. I can see why he wouldnt bring you a pizza and wedges back at 3am if it seemed you were asleep. Pizza can be reheated but if you had planned to eat together its not the same and i wouldnt reheat wedges. If its a huge problem, id just call another. The weirdest thing for me though is getting up at 3am for a pizza?! Surely just let him in and go back to bed?!

Or perhaps OP is simply being unreasonable and greedy.

Zumatalaa · 21/08/2022 13:06

Pizza tastes fantastic the next day

It really really doesn't, and Domino's et al are revolting full stop.

OP YABU. No way would I have sat hungry waiting on a pizza whose delivery was contingent on when a boxing match ended - on a Saturday night!!

Bizarre. You should have ordered your own.

Preeeettyprettygood · 21/08/2022 13:15

Fuck sake all these " eurgh no pizza is disgusting" get a life! So YOU don't like take away pizza for breakfast,or god forbid any time! Who really could actually give a shit about this? Saddo's

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/08/2022 13:17

RelationshipOrNot · 21/08/2022 13:00

I did say I'd have it for breakfast, not that I'd expect him to wake me up. I know I could order it, it's more that he'd said he would and then didn't. I don't think it's weird to be upset if you were expecting something to happen and then all of a sudden are told that it's not happening, even though I know I get more upset than the average person about that. But surely it's normal to be disappointed and frustrated to have something you were looking forward to snatched away on someone else's say-so.

@RelationshipOrNot

yourr right, most people wouldn’t be that bothered

or they would order their own pizza at the time of the evening they fancied it

things happen, it’s a Saturday night, no biggie and it’s only pizza 🤷‍♀️

SalmonEile · 21/08/2022 13:21

@Zumatalaa
but then surely the OP is unreasonable for asking for pizza at all , seeing as it’s revolting anyway?

and as for ordering her own, that’s what I would’ve done myself so I can see why people keep suggesting his
but
OP said :
”I thought it would be really nice when he arrived for us to have pizza together and chill out.”

so yes she could’ve ordered one herself but we don’t know what time she actually expected the DP home ,
all we know is she accidentally fell asleep sometime after 11:30

if she was happy to wait til 3am to eat til then then I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her not to have ordered one and eaten without him when they had planned to eat together

if she was expecting him home at 11 and then fell asleep then it’s a bit different I think but I don’t know what time she was expecting him home at

FlyingSaucerss · 21/08/2022 13:31

Even I’m confused where people live I’m in London and even my local dominos shuts at 11pm and that’s London 🤷‍♀️

shazzybazzy34 · 21/08/2022 13:32

stuntbubbles · 21/08/2022 12:48

Nice pizza tastes wonderful the day after. The kind of pizza you can get at 3am with accompanying wedges and garlic dip is barely edible when you order it, let alone as leftovers.

Show quote history

True this...

Original poster
PinkStarAtNight · 21/08/2022 13:43

I wouldn't have necessarily wanted to be woken up at 3am to eat the pizza. I could have had mine today.

However, him coming back in DID wake me up, and I was hungry so yes I did want the pizza once I was awake and I was annoyed that he didn't follow through with the plan thinking 'either she'll wake up when I'm home and want it, or she'll want it tomorrow'.

He did offer to order me one, but he had ordered his on way home and by the time he got in and we had that conversation, the place he had ordered from was closed and the only places open were shitty ones, so I ended up having a chip butty (which tbf he did make for me)

I have forgiven him now as I see why he didn't get me one. Would have been nice to have pizza for breakfast/lunch though.

OP posts:
Zumatalaa · 21/08/2022 13:48

@SalmonEile , I don't know if type of pizza was established. Pizza can be delicious but I find Dominos and the like unpleasant on all levels.

Anyway, it's all a bit daft and OP should have ordered her own rather than go to sleep hungry.

SapphosRock · 21/08/2022 13:56

We're you stoned? I can't think of any other reason a person would wake up and want pizza at 3am.