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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MIL & playing with GC

110 replies

JuneBee · 20/08/2022 16:59

I know this is very petty of me but it really irritates me.

MIL has been to stay for a week.

She keeps complaining that my DC aren’t as interested in her. But she won’t get down on the floor and play with them because she keeps on about her back hurting or her leg hurting etc. but she does 4 days a week childcare for her other GC and I know she sits on the floor and plays with them.

So today when she said it again I asked well how does she do childcare without getting down to play with them and she’s gone off in a mood now. So now I’m in the bad books with her and DH.

Aibu?

OP posts:

User135792468 · 20/08/2022 17:12

She just doesn’t like the truth. Not much you can do about that! If her back hurts or leg hurts theres not much she can do but it would annoy me to hear her moaning about them not being that interested.

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 20/08/2022 17:14

Maybe playing with other dgc involves rotating TV channels?

MolliciousIntent · 20/08/2022 17:15

Why do they have to play on the floor? Can't you set them something up on the table? I have a bad back and don't ever play on the floor with mine, we play up on the table.

pictish · 20/08/2022 17:16

I hate getting on the floor to play. I’ll do other stuff but the at-their-level floor play can get in the sea. Sorry.

SaySomethingMan · 20/08/2022 17:16

You sound very rude tbh.
How about, “oh they play better if we engage with them on the floor”, etc

How old is your DC? My gp never got on the floor to play with me. I still managed to play with them fine.
If she’s health issues, why aren’t you more sympathetic? Bubbles, peekaboo, etc are entertaining without having to sit on the floor.

Nugg · 20/08/2022 17:18

Errrr and with DH?!

pictish · 20/08/2022 17:18

“How about, “oh they play better if we engage with them on the floor”, etc”

How about “no thanks”?

Peakypolly · 20/08/2022 17:18

I don't get down on the floor with my own DC, I certainly don't plan to if I have GC!

justdontkno1 · 20/08/2022 17:19

Maybe her back and legs do hurt cause presumably she is an older woman. Maybe she feels obliged to mind the other gc. Pity she hasn’t the confidence to just enjoy her retirement after bringing up her own children. I get that it could he annoying if she is complaining re dcs though. Maybe they could cuddle together and watch a movie while she has a cup of tea and puts her feet up, that could be a nice way of bonding @JuneBee

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 20/08/2022 17:19

Yup, you were rude.

Bananarama21 · 20/08/2022 17:22

You were awful towards her I hope you apologise

oldestmumaintheworld · 20/08/2022 17:22

I think you are unkind and unsympathetic. You don't say how old your MIL is but speaking for myself my back aches and my knees hurt and I wouldn't want to get down on the floor to play with grandchildren. Why would anyone. I think you expect too much.

SnowWhitesSM · 20/08/2022 17:22

Why does she have to sit on the floor? I think you were rude, you could have helped her (when she spoke to you of her concerns) rather then what you said. It would have been easy to say - do you want to do a puzzle/bake a cake/read a story with dc.

cornishcrusader · 20/08/2022 17:29

I feel a bit sad reading this. I look after my two young grandchildren several times a week. I am about to have a serious operation and certainly won't be able to get on the floor and play with them for many, many months. Do I therefore expect our relationship to deteriorate, or shall I risk bursting my stitches open ? I think the OP is being very unkind.

drkpl · 20/08/2022 17:31

My ds is 3.5 and none of us sit on the floor and play. We do puzzles and stuff at the table and I help him set up his train track, etc. on the floor. Other than that we just generally chat to him about what he’s doing as he plays. How old are the kids? I used to sit on the floor and play with him as a baby but I don’t need to now.

ddl1 · 20/08/2022 17:36

Why does she have to get on the floor to play with them? For some older people, it is very difficult to get up from the floor, even if they can get down there in the first place. Couldn't they play games at a table? Couldn't she read/ tell them stories?

Looneytune253 · 20/08/2022 17:41

If she defo defo plays on the floor with the other DC then I don't think you have been unreasonable. If there's a chance they just have fun in other ways as they have their own time then that might be different. It might be worth delving into that a bit more before you make a judgement

Original poster

JuneBee · 20/08/2022 17:41

DC are 10 months, 2 and 4.

MIL is 58.

I get that some people don’t like sitting on the floor to play. But then not sure how they play with the dolls house etc?

The issues are that MIL complains the kids don’t want to play with her and that she does actually sit on the floor to play with her other GC.

I am surprised at some of the posts, very surprised that people don’t sit on the floor to play with their babies and toddlers? Everyone I know does?!

OP posts:

Unicorn717 · 20/08/2022 17:42

Why does she have to get on the floor and play? There's loads of other ways she could join in with the kids.

withgraceinmyheart · 20/08/2022 17:44

I can see how it’s annoying if she keeps moaning about it. As PP said though, there are ways to play without getting on the floor depending on dcs age.

Youre not wrong that she needs to make an effort to bond with dc, there’s not much you can do if she won’t.

ffsnotagainandagain · 20/08/2022 17:44

Play with a child's doll house? No thanks, that's for my DC to play with.

Rowen32 · 20/08/2022 17:45

JuneBee · 20/08/2022 17:41

DC are 10 months, 2 and 4.

MIL is 58.

I get that some people don’t like sitting on the floor to play. But then not sure how they play with the dolls house etc?

The issues are that MIL complains the kids don’t want to play with her and that she does actually sit on the floor to play with her other GC.

I am surprised at some of the posts, very surprised that people don’t sit on the floor to play with their babies and toddlers? Everyone I know does?!

You're not being unreasonable at all if she plays on the floor with the others? Maybe ask her or your husband to explain why that is?
Also, shocked other people don't play on the floor with their own children!

Mumspair1 · 20/08/2022 17:46

I'm 40 and I refuse to get on the floor and play. My dc had a dollhouse. Worked perfectly fine on the table.

PhatPaws · 20/08/2022 17:47

There's so many things you can do without sitting on the floor. Read books, play doe, paint, play shop while sat on sofa, push cars along dining table.

pictish · 20/08/2022 17:48

“Also, shocked other people don't play on the floor with their own children!”

Why?

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