MIL & playing with GC

[JuneBee]

I know this is very petty of me but it really irritates me.

MIL has been to stay for a week.

She keeps complaining that my DC aren’t as interested in her. But she won’t get down on the floor and play with them because she keeps on about her back hurting or her leg hurting etc. but she does 4 days a week childcare for her other GC and I know she sits on the floor and plays with them.

So today when she said it again I asked well how does she do childcare without getting down to play with them and she’s gone off in a mood now. So now I’m in the bad books with her and DH.

Aibu?

You do sound very rude , I'm guessing your MIL is at least in her 60s so bad backs are common and sitting on the floor would be painful. You can play with children and not sit on the floor.

Another MIL is wrong thread....

Well bravo for you! But you have NO idea about other peoples health issues, you're out of line!

@JuneBee I'm 'only' 53, I used to live playing on the floor with the kids, but my knees now will not bend! I cannot do it. Until last year I could get up/down in an ungainly manner using my upper body strength. However, I was in an accident and lost the use of one arm, so I can no longer do that either.. 2 years ago I could sit on the floor and stand again without using my hands. Life can change very very quickly. I'm 'only' 53 & never would have expected to be in this position at my age.

however, it doesn't sound like your MIL has these issues if she plays on the floor with her other GC.

perhaphs because she spends more time with the others she has a better bond with them, but maybe she thinks they're all her GC & she assumed the relationship with yours would be the same as with the others.

maybe get your DH to go out with her & the kids today somewhere she can do fun stuff with them that doesn't involve sitting on the ground. Like the park.

maybe you could ask her to read some stories to the two older ones while you do something with the baby.

how much longer is she staying??

You'd be guessing wrong.

But it's not about the floor. It's about a lack of effort to engage the children in any way then moaning continuously because they aren't interested in her.

Did she sit on the floor at first and then start complaining about pain by any chance? Maybe she is just worn out/ fed up playing with them and doesn’t want to say so. A week is a long time. If she’s doing your head in, if possible, why don’t you tell her to go home early so she can rest?
If not, I’m at home with my dd all day and I don’t play with her all the time (much less on the floor which I do sometimes but not for long at a go) Could you ask your MIL to give them their snacks/ meals, or take them for a walk or read a story or watch some tv with them (if that’s allowed) or play music or something? If she does childcare for others she probably breaks the day up with things like that so it’s not so strenuous (or mind numbing as lots of people find floor play to be).

I have one set of grandchildren who need more time with me than all the rest do due to their home circumstances. My son has a lot to answer for. But Im constantly aware of making sure all of the rest of my grandchildren aren’t short changed when it comes to time with nana.

I do for your MIL though because it sounds as if she’s in a situation she’d rather not be in and that the demands of doing child care for her other grandchildren has her tired. It shouldn’t be a reason though to come to your home and not be hands on with her grandchildren.

My mil for mobility reasons can’t change dd’s nappy on the floor on kneel to
change it with her on the sofa. Dd can roll so the dining table which she suggested is not an option. She also can’t get out of the front door without using a grab rail so therefore cannot hold dd and safely exit the house. She wants to look after dd on her own but I’ve tried gently explaining these things are prohibitive. I’ve left dd for an hour come back and she’s had a poonami and not been changed. Then MILs sad because she doesn’t feel needed.
anyway OP I don’t think people need to play on the floor to play however I think people are focusing on the wrong thing. Your kids aren’t going to worship their nana when she is barely interacting with them. Lots of posters being horrible - saying they hope you have bad knees in the future and that you must have a dirty house/carpet? Madness. The same people who probably live miles from their in-laws and parents and see them once a year for a polite cup of tea, never mind slagging you off when you have MIL to stay ‘for a rest’ for a whole week!! With three small kids.

@Flossflower Thank you for your response. Glad to know that I’m not crazy for thinking it quite normal to sit on the floor and play with young children!

@Unicorn717 She just doesn’t seem interested. We have been to a country park and she came then. But says no when asked to come to the play park.

@Rosecoffeecup No. But good thinking, I’ll suggest she does that to keep herself busy!

@Mumspair1 No but nursery has a lot more space than we do. They have activities set up in different areas etc, we live in a regular sized house.

Good ideas. Why doesn't MIL try one of these instead of moaning to OP that DGC don't like her?

The floor thing is a huge distraction.

How do you know she always sits on the floor to play with the other grandchildren?

My dad's disabled. He can't sit on the floor. In fact he can't even sit on most chairs very well. He still managed to play with his grandkids when they were toddlers, though.