To be in total despair over my teeth

[torbygirl]

This is all so humiliating it is painful to even type anonymously and there is no way I could discuss it in rl with anyone.

My teeth are appalling. I went through a period of about a decade in early adulthood when I really neglected them. After that I maintained normal care but only ever saw a dentist when it was an emergency. I'm in mid 40s now and massively embarrassed by their colour, lack of straightness etc. There are also a couple missing, though not in very visible places. My feelings about all this have got worse over the last couple of years while I pretty much ignored it all up to then. My divorce ad just generally getting older have made me feel worse about it all.

A few weeks ago I finally bit the bullet and saw a dentist. It's worse than I could have thought and it turns out I need £7000 worth of treatment - and I'm not even sure that that includes everything. There are 2 or 3 teeth she thinks can't be saved and they are in more prominent positions than the others I have lost.

I just feel so stupid about this and a the title says in despair. I have a reasonably good career but I don't have that sort of money lying around. I would have to borrow it which is obviously less than ideal with the current state of the economy. I also feel like I can't really do my job if I end up with these gaps. I'm in a professional role (believe it or not). I just feel such an idiot.

I just feel like I've ruined my appearance and my finances through stupid choices I made years ago then putting my head in the sand and now there's no really good outcome possible.

I just wanted to get it off my chest but any dental advice/experiences would be brilliant.

@torbygirl I am so pleased that you are getting a second opinion tomorrow. Fingers crossed that it goes well for you.

Please don't worry about showing your teeth to the dentist. Honestly, they have seen it all before. You are being very brave.

Let us know how you get on,

@torbygirl , good luck tomorrow, youll be fine.
I specifically wanted all extractions done at once, it’s more normal to do it over a few appointments!

@Saz12 thank you for posting your positive message - I get my remaining upper teeth out (10) in a 'oner' in October and I'm more scared about that than the denture. Sounds same as your procedure only all my upper set are being replaced. I teach and have two weeks to get used to them before I go back (secondary). What do you think? Realistic or not?

@BedisBliss definitely! After 2 weeks you’ll probably still struggle with crusty bread, chewy meat, etc, but should be easily able for a packed lunch from home eaten beside colleagues.
Youll probably lose some weight initially, if you’re someone who usually eats for enjoyment it’ll feel less appealing at first. But that doesn’t last.
You will probably need to practice speaking, more for your own confidence than intelligibility.
Also use the follow-up appointments to have the denture tweaked to get it the best fit possible.
And Fixodent (or Pollygrip) will really help make it feel more reliable. Take some with you (a tiny tube in your wallet is good) everywhere, just in case.

Thank you so much to the dentists who've posted. :-)
I think my son used to go to a cosmetic dentist after a few years of going private. They made such a mess of his teeth. He's now back at the private one & isn't losing veneers every few weeks. Expensive, yes, but when you think that teeth are on show all the time..
I used to go every 3 months to my wonderful NHS dentists, but moved house (175 miles) and no NHS dentists.. been waiting about two years. Low income but think I'm going to have to go to my son's dentist.
FWIW I would NOT go abroad, but each to their own.. good luck OP.

Hi op I think small steps maybe scale polish first. Im getting mine sorted gradually. Few are weakened by grinding. He was rude at xmas so I changed location. At least you are sorting it now.

Ooh yes, S&P will make such a difference. OK, it won't straighten them but they'll look so much cleaner afterwards.

How did you get on today @torbygirl, I hope it went ok for you.