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Original poster

To be in total despair over my teeth

133 replies

torbygirl · 20/08/2022 14:26

This is all so humiliating it is painful to even type anonymously and there is no way I could discuss it in rl with anyone.

My teeth are appalling. I went through a period of about a decade in early adulthood when I really neglected them. After that I maintained normal care but only ever saw a dentist when it was an emergency. I'm in mid 40s now and massively embarrassed by their colour, lack of straightness etc. There are also a couple missing, though not in very visible places. My feelings about all this have got worse over the last couple of years while I pretty much ignored it all up to then. My divorce ad just generally getting older have made me feel worse about it all.

A few weeks ago I finally bit the bullet and saw a dentist. It's worse than I could have thought and it turns out I need £7000 worth of treatment - and I'm not even sure that that includes everything. There are 2 or 3 teeth she thinks can't be saved and they are in more prominent positions than the others I have lost.

I just feel so stupid about this and a the title says in despair. I have a reasonably good career but I don't have that sort of money lying around. I would have to borrow it which is obviously less than ideal with the current state of the economy. I also feel like I can't really do my job if I end up with these gaps. I'm in a professional role (believe it or not). I just feel such an idiot.

I just feel like I've ruined my appearance and my finances through stupid choices I made years ago then putting my head in the sand and now there's no really good outcome possible.

I just wanted to get it off my chest but any dental advice/experiences would be brilliant.

OP posts:
JKDcot · 20/08/2022 21:26

Thank you for the info @BedisBliss I hope you can get things moving forward and better.

just to check though. There’s always something they can do either implant or dentures - you can’t be left with no teeth / gaps and absolutely no solutions?? That’s what scares me the most…

Original poster
torbygirl · 20/08/2022 21:33

Thank you very much Housenoob. I may PM you if that's ok.

OP posts:
BedisBliss · 21/08/2022 00:43

@JKDcot No. The fittings for dentures take place and take weeks. I love dentist as he has asked for photos of my teeth when they were good to send to the lab where they make them. He says it's like good BOTOX in that of you get someone who is good at dentures people will think you look good bit not be able to guess why as your teeth look like your own but just better. You leave with your denture on extraction day and it helps keep the sockets clean by wearing it. Apparently it takes a minimum 2 weeks to learn how to talk again and you have to read out loud etc. It is horrendous and there have been so many tears but I'm facing up to the inevitable. I hate my smile, my teeth have drifted and my gums are so receded it's a joke.

BedisBliss · 21/08/2022 00:45

@JKDcot - sorry not on laptop now and in bed on phone- excuse typing!

Sarahzb · 21/08/2022 02:25

Mine were drilled to poo in the 60s . Ruined. They got paid for every drill hole. So guess what they did? Went for the money, no shit for the kid. I hate them Carmody in Bristol? Arse

TheManSellsFish · 21/08/2022 02:27

orangeisthenewpuce · 20/08/2022 14:37

Is that NHS. If not go to an NHS dentist.

Hahaha ha.

Nat6999 · 21/08/2022 04:00

I'm the same, I've only 2 crowned teeth left on the bottom, everything else has either been extracted or is just the root left. My top teeth are just about OK. My problems started during lockdown when you couldn't get any dental treatment & one by one my teeth started either snapping off or crumbling. My original dentist kicked me off his list when I complained that I had been left 12 weeks waiting for an appointment after an abcess, the only treatment he offered me was extraction even though the tooth was solid, he made the excuse that the Practice was unaccessible due to me being disabled. I was referred to the community dentist who took one look & said they all had to come out & I would have to have dentures. I'm terrified as I had to have a temporary denture whilst waiting for a bridge & I ended up trying to end my life, I couldn't cope with it in my mouth, I was constantly heaving & I'm autistic. I have been referred to my local dental hospital but have been told I don't fit the criteria to get implants on the NHS, I can't afford to pay for them as I'm on benefits & can't get credit. My mental health is shot, I struggle to eat & spend most of my life shut away in my room because I don't want anyone to see me like this.

echt · 21/08/2022 04:11

torbygirl · 20/08/2022 15:08

Thanks all so much for the replies.

I did think about getting a second opinion as the place I approached is mainly set up as a cosmetic place and I imagine is super expensive for 'normal' dentistry. It's just the shame of having to let another new person see the horrors of my mouth, but yes it would be worth it to save a couple of thousand. The place I'm at now does offer a payment plan across but that would be too much per month for me so I'd still need a loan.

I'm lucky in that I can borrow the money at pretty good rates but it sets me back when I was about to pay off my last debt (essential kitchen update a coupe of years ago) and is for such a stupid stupid reason.

The dentist was very lovely and mentioned implants but said I wouldn't be suitable atm due to gum disease but it may be a possibility in the future. Dentures were mentioned, which scares me too.

I'm in a job where I can't take leave (probably makes it obvious what it is) so going abroad is not really an option. Even time off for multiple appointments will be tricky, but I'll have to suck it up and talk to HR, which will also be embarrassing.

Thank you so much again for replying - it has made me feel better already.

Thinking about your job and taking leave, when you go to HR, don't let them bamboozle you into dental work as cosmetic. It's vital for your health, so use sick leave.

Housenoob · 21/08/2022 08:51

MorrisZapp · 20/08/2022 21:09

Sorry to hijack but may I borrow the dentist please? I've got small infections on the roots of two adjacent teeth, both previously root treated.

I can feel it grumbling a bit but I'm not in pain. Dentist says if it flares up into pain then the only treatment will be extraction.

Would it not be possible /advisable at this point to have a course of antibiotics to head off the infection?

I also heard that anaesthetic doesn't work on infected teeth so how can extraction work?

You've got chronic low grade infection in those teeth caused by failed root canals. A course of antibiotics won't treat the cause because they will keep getting re-infected. You can get the root canals redone but this is usually specialist treatment and very £££.

Anaesthesia does work on infections like these, it's when there's a huge acute infection with facial swelling, severe pain, limited mouth opening etc that it doesn't work- that's when usually I'd prescribe a short course of antibiotics and then get them back in for an extraction a week or so after once the infection has calmed a bit.

Workyticket · 21/08/2022 09:49

I honestly don't know how dentists do it - when I went last week for my extraction a horrid taste filled my mouth when she put the anesthetic in

I grimaced and she said "that's the infection pouring out" 😩

What must it have looked like?!!? Poor bloody dental nurse too having to suction it 🙈 I was mortified

Housenoob · 21/08/2022 10:48

Workyticket · 21/08/2022 09:49

I honestly don't know how dentists do it - when I went last week for my extraction a horrid taste filled my mouth when she put the anesthetic in

I grimaced and she said "that's the infection pouring out" 😩

What must it have looked like?!!? Poor bloody dental nurse too having to suction it 🙈 I was mortified

Draining an abscess is sort of the equivalent of squeezing a huge spot. Disgustingly gross but very satisfying.

AnnaMagnani · 21/08/2022 10:51

Dentists and dental nurses just don't think the same way @Workyticket

Nothing more satisfying than letting pus out.

OhGoodnessItsSoExhausting · 21/08/2022 10:56

Don't be so hard on yourself OP :( There is nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about. Take out a bank loan on 0% credit card. Get the work done and you'll feel much better.

teenagetantrums · 21/08/2022 11:02

I ignored my teeth for years. Just paid £650 private. To have 3 teeth extracted. False plate to replace them and the other 3missing ones. Your £7k sounds alot.

TiredYorkshireMam · 21/08/2022 11:07

Could be a lot worse, if £7k will drastically improve them it sounds like they are salvageable. It's not like they are all having to be ripped out and replaced with dentures.

Obviously I don't know your circumstances but if I were you I would bite the bullet, get a 0% credit card, pay the £7k, get the treatment, work out how much you can pay monthly and just keep transferring the balance to another 0% card when the term ends until it's paid off.

Good luck

newgnashers · 21/08/2022 11:33

I went abroad for mine as my teeth were absolutely awful. I had 10 implants and they do it over 2 visits 6 months apart so you can actually split the cost. I took sick leave and my bosses were fine about is because it was essential.
The total including bone grafts and sinus lifts and all medication was 7K.
It has changed my life please try to find a way to get your teeth sorted as it is awful to feel like you do.

Mangolist · 21/08/2022 11:42

Sarahzb · 21/08/2022 02:25

Mine were drilled to poo in the 60s . Ruined. They got paid for every drill hole. So guess what they did? Went for the money, no shit for the kid. I hate them Carmody in Bristol? Arse

I had this too. I have only just (two weeks ago!) plucked p the courage to have my bottom teeth, which were hideously brown and filled, redone with white fillings. The difference is insane and the cost was £400 for the three. I still have a few things to be done but I am so happy I finally did it. The NHS wouldnt do it as it was considered cosmetic, so I am with MyDentist on a plan called MyOptions which is slightly cheaper than full on private. They are very good and I've lucked out with a very kind dentistI had this too.

dolphinsarentcommon · 21/08/2022 12:17

OP I'm so with you on this. I absolutely hate my teeth and have avoided the dentist all my adult life. This is despite being a health professional myself. It stems from some horrible childhood experience when I was made to feel dirty by the dentist. I've never been hurt or frightened. Just deeply embarrassed.

But NOT NOW 💪💪. Last week I started all the remedial work I need with a root canal (more to come) and then I'm having them straightened and whitened. I'm spending some of my retirement lump sum ON ME 💪💪

I've convinced myself im going to do this for me because I sick of not smiling on photos and putting my hand to my mouth when I laugh.

Mangolist · 21/08/2022 12:25

I think a lot of us in our 40s and 50s were very damaged by dentists. My mother had what we would now know as Munchausens by proxy, and when she wasn't making me have unnecessary surgery , she was taking me to the dentist for totally unnecessary work so she was 'poor mangolist mum' . My dc teeth are beautiful and I'm sure mine would have been ok

BedisBliss · 21/08/2022 14:42

@Mangolist I think there was a period when dentists went a bit mental. I remember in the early 70s having baby teeth extracted under gas and later on in the 80s, fillings I'm not sure I needed! Thankfully they now have a more gentle approach and are committed to keeping your teeth in your head for as long as possible!!

dolphinsarentcommon · 21/08/2022 14:46

@BedisBliss @Mangolist absolutely. I think they thought all back teeth needed a filling whether they needed it or not.

I also endured braces top and bottom (with extractions to accommodate) and I've never had straight teeth..

I also remember my poor mother having all her teeth out in the late 60s and having full dentures. She could only have been late 30s. How dreadful. I just don't think that could have been needed

BedisBliss · 21/08/2022 14:48

@Nat6999 my heart went out to you when I read your post - teeth and hair are the things we dread losing the most. I am lucky I can pay for private dentistry but I'm absolutely terrified at the prospect of looking at my gummy self, having my teeth in a jar, and having to learn to speak again! I had one false tooth years ago and I didn't persevere and paid for it and never used it. I am a teacher of secondary school kids and rely on being able to speak. My nightmare is my teeth shooting across the classroom and hitting a kid square in the face!!!! Have decided I'm going to be open and let all my colleagues and kids know - I GOT DENTURES! For me, it's the only way I will cope. Sending you love. x

BedisBliss · 21/08/2022 14:50

Can I just say, fellow teeth people - this is the benefit of this forum! I gain strength from finding kindred spirits and the support here is amazing. (Still shitting myself about my teeth but trying to be chill!!)😂

Workyticket · 21/08/2022 14:57

Let's have a "Shit Teeth Club"

I'm there on Tuesday for 2 fillings. Had an extraction and 1 filling last week

I've never been until a couple of weeks ago except to beg for antibiotics (always promised to go back, never did until now)

dolphinsarentcommon · 21/08/2022 15:33

@Workyticket I almost suggested earlier a support thread for those of us getting our knashers sorted...

Swipe left for the next trending thread