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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
Whirlygiggles · 19/08/2022 16:14

If they ask to be reimbursed for the shopping, just say oh, I'll just take it off what you owe for for food all week. We can settle up in the morning before you leave.

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 16:14

I don't care if I have to cook the steaks tonight, as long as they buy it. I don't think i'd have the balls to tell them to cook them aswel

OP posts:
ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 16:15

OP, you can be as posh as you like.

PlentyOFool · 19/08/2022 16:15

Or get them to strip the bed! CFs can do a bloody hands turn for a change

beastlyslumber · 19/08/2022 16:15

My bet is they'll come back with steaks and a receipt for you to pay. Either that, or they'll have something to eat while they're out and come back empty handed.

TheMooch · 19/08/2022 16:15

Just ask " what time is it you are leaving tomorrow morning?"

Pretend you'd been informed that was their leaving date.

BruceAndNosh · 19/08/2022 16:16

Get a move on CFs!
My Tesco runs out of steak late afternoon...

hairymclaryforever · 19/08/2022 16:16

What utter arseholes. I can't believe they are so cheeky

PlentyOFool · 19/08/2022 16:16

If you're given a receipt, just look at it and say 'that was good value wasn't it? I bet you're pleased"

DopamineDresser · 19/08/2022 16:16

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 16:07

Looking forward to hearing what CFery they get up to with the shopping. We need to start a sweepstake. We've already got:

no steaks, no wine

2 steaks just for them

3-4 small steaks

cheap suasages

Any more for any more? My suggestion: a couple of cheap ready meals as they 'couldn't find the steaks because different layout from our Sainsburys/Tesco at home'.

Oh, & well done, OP!

Ooooh yes I love a sweepstake!

My bet is on '3-4 small steaks'

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 16:17

Maybe the CFers are upstairs right now, throwing their belongings into a couple of cases . They've been rumbled, & they know it.

thing47 · 19/08/2022 16:17

Scrapologist · 19/08/2022 16:11

Yes, definitely say someone's coming to visit you, not the other way around. Then if they somehow were to learn that no-one came to visit, well, unfortunately something came up at the last minute and they had to reschedule their visit.

Yes, absolutely this. If you ask them when they need to leave you run the risk of them saying 'we don't'.

pixietinkdust · 19/08/2022 16:18

LetsGoDoDoDo · 19/08/2022 16:09

I came here to say this! 😆

Another one here. Can’t wait to see what happens later 🤩

CoffeeBeansGalore · 19/08/2022 16:18

BruceAndNosh · Today 16:16

Get a move on CFs!
My Tesco runs out of steak late afternoon...

😂😂😂

Sidge · 19/08/2022 16:18

Brace yourself for them coming back with a bag of crap food and handing you the receipt.

Start practising your incredulous laugh.

NoSquirrels · 19/08/2022 16:18

You have another set of guests coming tomorrow night. You thought DH had told them. Do a "everyone wants to visit us in August, it's a madhouse" tinkly laugh.

Agree with this! You and DP need to do a ‘how awkward’ shared blame thing but get them gone.

“Thanks so much for doing dinner - it’s delicious. What time are you planning on heading off tomorrow?”

Them: blank looks/no plans etc

You: “Oh no, how embarrassing! DP, I thought you’d told X & Y my godmother was coming to stay tomorrow?”

DP: “Oh shit! I’m so sorry - that’s my fault,”

You: “So sorry X & Y, I really thought you knew we could only put you up for 4 nights. My godmother comes every year on this weekend blah blah blah.”

BruceAndNosh · 19/08/2022 16:18

ooo! the Value readymeals cos they couldn't find the meat aisle is a good call.

Seriously OP, I hope they turn up with half a dozen Aberdeen Angus Fillets for you

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 16:18

Holy shit, they have gone out in the car!

OP posts:
CheeseCakeSunflowers · 19/08/2022 16:18

I think they are likely to present you with the receipt for the food and expect a refund. I would have your own list of food costs for the days they have been there ready then if they do tell them to knock your share of today's cost off the total.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 16:19

BruceAndNosh · 19/08/2022 16:05

The contents of their shopping basket will be
2 Fillet steaks ("the last ones in the shop" for themselves)
Tesco own brand frozen beefburgers for everyone else
Random sides which don't go together.

They will attempt to mollify you by saying " we realise that we have drunk all your wine so have bought you some to replace it" and present you with a bottle of red and one of white from Tesco's £5 range.
There will also be a decent bottle of chateau neuf du pape which mysteriously remains glued to their end of the dinner table tonight

Need to add this to the sweepstake.

ToBeHere · 19/08/2022 16:19

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 16:18

Holy shit, they have gone out in the car!

They’ll be handing you the receipt!

or, they’ll come back with a solo chicken.

GoldPig · 19/08/2022 16:20

I think they’ll eat out or come back with McDonald’s

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 16:20

PlentyOFool · 19/08/2022 16:16

If you're given a receipt, just look at it and say 'that was good value wasn't it? I bet you're pleased"

Perfect! I'll do that.

And thanks everyone! i'm feeling less of a doormat now, and less annoyed!

OP posts:
viques · 19/08/2022 16:21

Whirlygiggles · 19/08/2022 16:14

If they ask to be reimbursed for the shopping, just say oh, I'll just take it off what you owe for for food all week. We can settle up in the morning before you leave.

Better still, ask for their bank details to do a transfer, but oh no! you can’t log into your online account , never mind, you will keep checking and transfer the money when hell freezes over as soon as you can.

savethebeesandthecees · 19/08/2022 16:21

Well done Op.

Keep it up, might get some lovely food and wine in by the weekend

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