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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
MzHz · 19/08/2022 21:53

A total blinder there @SeriouslyLosingTheWill

brava!!

Mercedesbenz2022 · 19/08/2022 21:53

Well done !
what a result , you and your family are the A team !
have some more wine / cheesecake and sigh with relief that they’ll be gone in the morning !

Flowersintheattic57 · 19/08/2022 21:53

This has been the perfect end to my week. I thank you.
Well done you and your husband. The CFs knew full well what they were doing all along. No one grows up in this country not knowing that you bring gifts when visiting, help out with chores, make tea for others ffs, and treat your hosts to say thank you. They are totally taking the piss.
Have a lovely weekend.

Obeythedancecommander · 19/08/2022 21:54

PatchworkElmer · 19/08/2022 21:42

Argh I’m not sure I would’ve tricked them/ been unclear if I’m honest, it leaves you open to them slagging you off… I think I would’ve just done a basic tea and prompted them to leave. Or said “right, your turn to sort dinner tonight- what are we having?” so that they were clear on expectations.

It’s done though and you’ve obviously entertained a lot of people tonight 😁

I feel that OP and her Dh have been tricked into paying for CF's entire menu for the week. Totally not normal.

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 19/08/2022 21:54

Well done OP, and your DH. I'm so glad you binned the receipt. Think how you'll feel when you wave them off tomorrow!

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/08/2022 21:55

If you leave the butter and croissants out they will take the fucking lot with them.

I'd stick the butter in the butter dish, and aim to get up shortly after them in the morning so they can't rifle through and nick back whatever they feel like.

They clearly DON'T get just how fucking rude they've been do they!

Well done OP :D

Lexiblue · 19/08/2022 21:55

Is this a wind up? I can't believe that someone would put up with this.

dottymac · 19/08/2022 21:55

God, the brass neck on the pair of them! Honestly, I tip my hat at you - I want to grow a set of balls just like you 💪🤜

Topsyturveymam · 19/08/2022 21:55

WTAF!!!
I know you’re feeling upset tonight but they’ll be gone tmrw…never to darken your door again. Well done for putting those CF’s right. They rely on others being too embarrassed to say anything … and get away with this awful behaviour.
Hope they get out the door quickly tmrw morning and good riddance to them!

Skodacool · 19/08/2022 21:56

JudgeRindersMinder · 19/08/2022 21:41

For me, one of the best parts of this has been that your dh has been totally on board with you!

Yes, this is lovely

WulyJmpr · 19/08/2022 21:56

Reading the updates cringing with my hand clasped over my mouth.

Well done, OP. You couldn't have handled it any better. And the cheeky f's couldn't have acted any worse!!! Shouting down the stairs like some vitriolic 7 year old. Shocking.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 19/08/2022 21:57

Scaredypup · 19/08/2022 21:53

Funny how the CF didn’t mind spending money on Tesco finest everything when they thought you were paying

Yes it wasn't a waste for OP to buy steaks apparently!

almostfamousme · 19/08/2022 21:58

I've been keeping up with this instead of watching telly tonight, much more interesting! I love you and your OP. What a team. Definitely a good idea for DP to tell the ex his side of the story first, if they get on. Have a lovely weekend.

Hell0daisy · 19/08/2022 21:58

😨😨

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 19/08/2022 21:58

You gave them the benefit of the doubt after they ignored you right at the beginning, and didn't pay in the restaurant. You've been a saint. Brilliant result! Don't feel guilty.

catblanket · 19/08/2022 21:59

Why did your DH thank them for cooking? Was he sticking the knife in even more?!

SpacePotato · 19/08/2022 21:59

She's definitely gonna flush more wipes now op. Jeep an eye on your septic tank...

Unhurried · 19/08/2022 22:01

catblanket · 19/08/2022 21:59

Why did your DH thank them for cooking? Was he sticking the knife in even more?!

DP thanked Seriously for cooking the meal

Sunbird24 · 19/08/2022 22:01

catblanket · 19/08/2022 21:59

Why did your DH thank them for cooking? Was he sticking the knife in even more?!

No, he was thanking Seriously (OP) for cooking, that threw me for a sec too!

Zoom101 · 19/08/2022 22:02

Scaredypup · 19/08/2022 21:53

Funny how the CF didn’t mind spending money on Tesco finest everything when they thought you were paying

And they would have been happy to keep the points on their card for the shopping that they wanted you to pay for! Well done OP, you will sleep the sleep of the righteous tonight!

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 19/08/2022 22:03

Well done op!
AND a dh who has your back!!
You both rock!!

stayinghometoday · 19/08/2022 22:03

You've done really well, OP. I'm actually proud that you said it! We women are too conditioned to be doormats. You clearly let them know that they crossed your boundaries.

Newgirls · 19/08/2022 22:03

You legends.

and don’t worry they won’t mention it to anyone else they will look total dicks

enjoy your life in and croissants tomorrow!

Achferfuckssake · 19/08/2022 22:03

So I’ve always wanted to go to the an island in the Indian Ocean because of various issues I’ve moved been. Now mid 50’s and looking at how finite life is, I want to go-it’s a definate bucket list!

Now here’s the thing- we have a child and if the both of us went, I would be afraid a tsunami may happen and we’d leave said child alone in the world😭. I’m happy to go there alone, what are your thoughts regarding this? Just to add I have no anxiety issues and am generally a fairly sensible person!

ihatebojo · 19/08/2022 22:03

I have been reading this open mouthed! We just stayed with 2 different sets of friends, we took flowers to both, gin to one and wine/champagne to another. One family refused our invite to go out for dinner as they love cooking so we sent a little thank you parcel after we got home and the other family we took out for fish and chips. In addition to (of course) helping with cooking, washing up and buying beers when out!
I would never dare dream of doing any different!!!!

Well done op, I am proud of you!

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