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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
Mangledrake · 19/08/2022 22:04

Zoom101 · 19/08/2022 22:02

And they would have been happy to keep the points on their card for the shopping that they wanted you to pay for! Well done OP, you will sleep the sleep of the righteous tonight!

Ooh good catch Shock

WhitePhantom · 19/08/2022 22:04

Brilliant OP, you and your dh absolutely ROCK! I was in the gym this evening and just wanted the session to finish up so that I could find out what happened 😅

Now, how does one go about nominating a thread for Classics?

ihatebojo · 19/08/2022 22:04

I have been reading this open mouthed! We just stayed with 2 different sets of friends, we took flowers to both, gin to one and wine/champagne to another. One family refused our invite to go out for dinner as they love cooking so we sent a little thank you parcel after we got home and the other family we took out for fish and chips. In addition to (of course) helping with cooking, washing up and buying beers when out!
I would never dare dream of doing any different!!!!

Well done op, I am proud of you!

Noiamnotshe · 19/08/2022 22:04

Oh I love a happy ending and love a saga I can follow from start to finish! Well done you who cares what they say do or think you win 😂

Ravenblack1 · 19/08/2022 22:05

Really?

VerifiedBot2351 · 19/08/2022 22:05

I think your DC need to be up nice and early tomorrow to ensure CF are up early (to leave).

Achferfuckssake · 19/08/2022 22:05

Posted in the wrong place. Soz😫

1ittlegreen · 19/08/2022 22:05

It seems like they feel wronged.

Well done OP! Absolutely brilliant way to respond.

You will never win with gormless people like this.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/08/2022 22:05

I’m wondering if they freeloaded their last holidays. Dh and I had a couple, who crashed our holiday at Center parcs abroad. Dh wanted a sauna so needed a 3 bed. He thought it would be nice if they spent a couple of nights with us and added them on the booking. But they ended up staying 4 as they then wouldn’t leave and he wouldn’t make them go. Dd was about 7/8 and they wouldn’t look after her even for an hour. During the visit, they blathered on about how popular they were having just spent 10 nights at a former colleagues house. I wonder how the former colleague felt! When I suggested we visit them and they put us up another time, it was a firm no. Needless to say, we haven’t seen them since.

woodhill · 19/08/2022 22:06

catblanket · 19/08/2022 21:59

Why did your DH thank them for cooking? Was he sticking the knife in even more?!

Yes I wondered that

CFW really showed her true colours tonight

woodhill · 19/08/2022 22:06

catblanket · 19/08/2022 21:59

Why did your DH thank them for cooking? Was he sticking the knife in even more?!

Yes I wondered that

CFW really showed her true colours tonight

Sparkletastic · 19/08/2022 22:07

Deffo put the butter in your room too. DP needs to get up in the morning and supervise them leaving so they don't empty your cupboards. He owes you this much.

Sparkletastic · 19/08/2022 22:07

Deffo put the butter in your room too. DP needs to get up in the morning and supervise them leaving so they don't empty your cupboards. He owes you this much.

PatchworkElmer · 19/08/2022 22:08

Obeythedancecommander · 19/08/2022 21:54

I feel that OP and her Dh have been tricked into paying for CF's entire menu for the week. Totally not normal.

Why meet at the lowest common denominator though. Why not say “right, it’s a your shout tonight guys- do you fancy a steak dinner, or ordering a takeaway?”

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 19/08/2022 22:08

Wow I've just read this thread and cannot believe some people can be so cheeky. Well done to you for keeping calm when MCF shouted down the stairs, I'd have probably gone upstairs and kicked them out. How rude of them, their behaviour is awful.

Ravenblack1 · 19/08/2022 22:08

This reply has been deleted

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Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 19/08/2022 22:08

Wow I've just read this thread and cannot believe some people can be so cheeky. Well done to you for keeping calm when MCF shouted down the stairs, I'd have probably gone upstairs and kicked them out. How rude of them, their behaviour is awful.

Hell0daisy · 19/08/2022 22:09

😨😨

maddiemookins16mum · 19/08/2022 22:09

Unbelievable behaviour.

Longdistance · 19/08/2022 22:10

If they come looking for the croissants in the morning, pipe up and say ‘ this isn’t an all inclusive for cheeky bastards, now fuck off!’
Then go back to bed.

Shortkiwi · 19/08/2022 22:10

Next thread?

BruceAndNosh · 19/08/2022 22:10

AND the CFs got the Clubcard points!

blackpearwhitelilies · 19/08/2022 22:11

OP’s husband thanked OP for cooking and the CFs for buying, I think.

VerifiedBot2351 · 19/08/2022 22:11

Tensions and emotions must be running high enough in that house for something else this evening.

FOJN · 19/08/2022 22:11

When you said they opened the crisps before dinner my mind went to that ad, "like getting your money's worth?".

You and your husband are a brilliant team. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. No matter how challenging it's been you can comfort yourself with the knowledge they will never invite themselves again.

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