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AIBU?

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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
Str8talker · 19/08/2022 21:46

Top marks for the both of you!!! Well done for putting those freeloaders in their place!

Belledan1 · 19/08/2022 21:47

Good on you for telling them to go and pay for the shopping. Hope they go in the morning.

GlueyMooey · 19/08/2022 21:48

I hate upsetting people, but I think the line about wasting steak turned my nervousness into anger. I don't actually care what they say about us. If anyone asks I'll send them a link to this

You probably won't have to send them a link to the thread as it will probably be in the DAILY FAIL tomorrow morning. It's going to make the morning chat over the croissants even more awkward 😂😂😂😂😂😂

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 21:48

They actually got off lightly with the steak thinking on it. I have more than 2 dc, but only 2 here at the moment as the others are staying the week at their dads. These 2 were only here because of meeting friends for various bits and bobs the last couple of days.

Thanks everyone. I am definitely going to chill out now, well once clearing up is done if I can be bothered. Moght leave it festering until tomorrow i'm that done with it. It feels like it should be midnight, but its really early. Dp actually just said should he go and appease them and ask them if they want to come down for a drink as its not actually very late. I told him no, i'd rather not and he shrugged and said more cheesecake? Gotta love him

OP posts:
GlueyMooey · 19/08/2022 21:48

I hate upsetting people, but I think the line about wasting steak turned my nervousness into anger. I don't actually care what they say about us. If anyone asks I'll send them a link to this

You probably won't have to send them a link to the thread as it will probably be in the DAILY FAIL tomorrow morning. It's going to make the morning chat over the croissants even more awkward 😂😂😂😂😂😂

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 19/08/2022 21:49

Oh @SeriouslyLosingTheWill emotions are running high so of course you're upset.
Hopefully you can look back and laugh in a few days/ weeks.
But just to reiterate, You & DH played a blinder, well done!!! 😁🥂👏

CraftyClara · 19/08/2022 21:49

This is better than the Span Gran and builders thread from a few years ago.

EVHead · 19/08/2022 21:49

Absolute freeloading cheeky fuckers! Well done you and DP.

Once they’ve gone, have a beer in the garden and a good old laugh.

TwoMonthsOff · 19/08/2022 21:49

Thread rapidly reaching the 40 page deadline 😭

1dontunderstand · 19/08/2022 21:49

They have some brass necks!

Lazydaisydaydream · 19/08/2022 21:49

This is one of the best threads I’ve read on here. Well done OP for sticking up for yourself and showing those CF how absolutely cheeky fuckery they were being!!!!

Unhurried · 19/08/2022 21:49

And as for the 2% who voted yabu, they can fuck right off too

Worried234 · 19/08/2022 21:49

Made my night. OP you fucking patient legend.

Send the twats on their way nice and early, sans croissants.

Bollindger · 19/08/2022 21:49

You hero

Vikinga · 19/08/2022 21:50

Well done op, I am absolutely flabbergasted at their cheek!

PurpleCatCuddles · 19/08/2022 21:50

This needs to go in Classics

VerifiedBot2351 · 19/08/2022 21:50

do they drive a Ford Ranger? 🤣

FangsForTheMemory · 19/08/2022 21:51

this goes in Classics!

Worried234 · 19/08/2022 21:51

Vikinga · 19/08/2022 21:50

Well done op, I am absolutely flabbergasted at their cheek!

Seconded. What a bunch of cunts.

icelollycraving · 19/08/2022 21:51

I’d leave some croissants and butter out. I wouldn’t be squirrelling stuff in my room like a bedsit.

Get your dh to see them off in the morning. If he has a good relationship with the ex, get him to get his side in first.

BotterMon · 19/08/2022 21:51

Best thread ever. You and your DH are legends - hope the DC realise how amazing you are and you can have a great laugh about it tomorrow with them (as you tuck into croissants with lovely butter washed down with a glass of vino for breakfast)

kateandme · 19/08/2022 21:52

Classic.
you are the hero we all need op.
please don’t thought spiral over this.you will go over this in your head whereas they,the ones in the wrong will not give your feelings the time of day,only their own.
please just rest now.
please forget this feeling of guilt over standing up for yourself!
yiu did really good.
and you and dp are epic.added bonus characters being your wriggling dc.llthough you left way to much mischief out by not having teenage muttering involved! They are our boldness at that age hehe.
have a weekend of doing absolutely nothing.get your emotions back on even.

you did amazingly

VickyEadieofThigh · 19/08/2022 21:52

OP, if the thread reaches its limit, PLEASE start a second one to ensure we get to hear all the final details!

Yabusux · 19/08/2022 21:52

6

Scaredypup · 19/08/2022 21:53

Funny how the CF didn’t mind spending money on Tesco finest everything when they thought you were paying

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