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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
CatsOperatingInGangs · 19/08/2022 21:12

Your DC are amazing! Good work OP and family

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 21:12

Theres more. furiously typing between the wine

OP posts:
comfortablyfrumpy · 19/08/2022 21:12

Fantastic!

Don't forget-, lock the booze away, or they will take it with them.

HereIfYouNeedMe · 19/08/2022 21:13

Aaah loving this!! 😂😂😂

ChickinMarango · 19/08/2022 21:13

Yey!!! Proud of you @SeriouslyLosingTheWill More balls than me 🤣

KindleAndCake · 19/08/2022 21:13

Well done OP, hope they're upstairs packing now.

littlefireseverywhere · 19/08/2022 21:13

Well done OP!

HereIfYouNeedMe · 19/08/2022 21:13

Aaah loving this!! 😂😂😂

GoneWithTheWine1 · 19/08/2022 21:13

😂😂😂 You absolute legend!

GoneWithTheWine1 · 19/08/2022 21:14

😂😂😂 You absolute legend!

Travelledtheworld · 19/08/2022 21:14

Good on you OP.
enjoy waving goodbye to them !
Thanks for the entertainment. I am staying with my in-laws and its a rather boring evening.....

Unhurried · 19/08/2022 21:14

There’s more? Ffs, I can’t wait!

vipersnest1 · 19/08/2022 21:15

Oh, well done, @SeriouslyLosingTheWill!
I've literally laughed out loud reading your last two updates.
Please do make a point of saying how much you're looking forward to staying with them. Wink

Rightsraptor · 19/08/2022 21:15

Oh well played OP! They must surely bugger off tomorrow morning, if not right now.

I came on to offer this gem: 'We cannot in all conscience detain you with our hospitality any longer'. (From 'Lost in Austen' ITV).

But you no longer need it.

velvetvixen · 19/08/2022 21:15

Exquisite! 😃

LateAF · 19/08/2022 21:16

Then, during dessert, I got some boldness from god knows where and asked them if they had had a nice stay WITH US and what time they were thinking of leaving tomorrow.

Cue silence. Total silence.

OMG I’m itchy with cringe on your behalf - as someone who would love to be as assertive as you have , very well done!

They weren’t very considerate of you, and you don’t need to mix with them in future, so no harm done.

Shgytfgtf111 · 19/08/2022 21:16

Op you are legit my hero

howdidigethere · 19/08/2022 21:16

Hee hee! Did they look stunned?

Hide all excess wine/beer/cheesecake so they don't take it home. Ask them to strip the bed for you!

december212 · 19/08/2022 21:17

I am so invested in this, it's great! Well done op!

Unhurried · 19/08/2022 21:17

Shgytfgtf111 · 19/08/2022 21:16

Op you are legit my hero

Mine too 😉

mrstea301 · 19/08/2022 21:17

This is great!! You're doing amazing!! MAINTAIN THAT SPINE!!!

mrstea301 · 19/08/2022 21:18

This is great!! You're doing amazing!! MAINTAIN THAT SPINE!!!

Onandupw · 19/08/2022 21:18

HEROINE

GoldPig · 19/08/2022 21:18

i don’t want to be part of the problem but if we keep posting the thread will get full!

JudgeRindersMinder · 19/08/2022 21:19

OP you are an utter LEGEND!

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