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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
Stopthebusplease · 19/08/2022 21:19

FANTASTIC WORK OP! So proud of you! Do come back and tell us what their reaction was.

almostfamousme · 19/08/2022 21:19

You are BRILLIANT. Tell us the rest, quick!

Tiredmumno1 · 19/08/2022 21:19

You should have asked for non alcoholic wine, you could have typed quicker 😂

Evilcountspatula · 19/08/2022 21:20

Mumsnet at its absolute finest. Encouraging women to be assertive and not take any shit. Go OP!

Dobbysgotthesocks · 19/08/2022 21:20

You are an utter legend OP!!!

Well done!!!

I vote this thread for classics!

Dobbysgotthesocks · 19/08/2022 21:20

You are an utter legend OP!!!

Well done!!!

I vote this thread for classics!

LoveTigerWiger · 19/08/2022 21:21

I need more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

MsTSwift · 19/08/2022 21:21

Will “bin the receipt” be the new “cancel the cheque”?😁

FlissyPaps · 19/08/2022 21:21

DP then came to my rescue with, oh my gosh, yes thanks, that was very kind of you, more wine Mr CF?

And then the DC right on cue said, oh thanks for the dinner, love steak, mum NEVER gets steak!

You and your family sound ACE!

Well fucking done OP. Teamwork (you and DP) makes the dream work.

nakaji · 19/08/2022 21:22

I don't care if this is all made up. Better suspense than the last six thrillers I've watched on Netflix.

itsnotmeitisactuallyyou · 19/08/2022 21:22

This was like a good book,a real page turner!

Twooforjoy · 19/08/2022 21:22

Please type faster!!!!

Tiredmumno1 · 19/08/2022 21:22

Oooo maybe they packed in disgust and have already left

Whoopee 🥳🥳

Christonabike37 · 19/08/2022 21:22

Lock your bloody booze fridge! They will take them beers home!

Twooforjoy · 19/08/2022 21:23

Please type faster!!!!

HeadacheEarthquake · 19/08/2022 21:23

EtnaVesuvius · 19/08/2022 20:58

Yes I have! I agree they are monumentally rude. I would never ever speak to them or socialise with them again.

However, I don’t think just because someone is rude to you you should be rude back. Asking guests to go to the supermarket and pay for the food while they are staying with you IS a bit rude. You’re the host. As unpleasant as this is, you’ll just have to get rid of them asap and put the whole thing down to experience.

FWIW I would have served a very basic meal tonight without wine rather then ask them to buy it.

Nah mate

catwomando · 19/08/2022 21:23

Splendid. Smile

GettingItOutThere · 19/08/2022 21:24

well played OP!!!

cannot wait for the next installment!!!!

catwomando · 19/08/2022 21:24

Splendid. Smile

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 21:24

So silence then ensured for a little longer and Mrs CF then said, I kid you not.
Oh I left the receipt in the kitchen, no problem for getting the shopping in for you. It was good to get out for a bit anyway.

To which I think I just looked at her.

DC started squirming a bit.

Then DP said, Oh sorry I binned it, did you need it?

OMG their faces.

So Mrs CF said, I'm sorry I thought you were going to pay as we went out and got your shopping because you were busy.

And Mr CF said, yes we were given a list.

Me, after the wine and feeling emboldened by MNers on here, then said I did NOT give you a list I made a suggestion about dinner tonight. Surely you are not suggesting we reimburse you for this one meal? Especially since we have cooked for you and provided all the drink so far.

The DC squirmed much much more and suggested they had to go and do something or other elsewhere and promptly left.

It was very very awkward.

Then DP piped in with ' well of course, I assumed you were treating us to a meal as we've hosted you the past 4 nights. and what a fab meal, thank you Seriously for cooking again, and thank you guys for getting it in. Its been a fab few days seeing you again. Will you have time for croissants in the morning?

They said yes they would and excused them selves and went to bed.

Me and DP just sort of sat there for a bit until I said, so i'll clear up again then. Which they heard as Mrs CF shouted down the stairs, I kid you not, well you should ask if you want help and you should ahve told us we were buying dinner as we wouldn't have wasted money on steak!

OMG. I'm fuming. I'm going to sit back outside in a minute. But I'm NOT maing them bloody croissants in the morning. In fact I took advice nd I've taken the rest of the wine in our room along with the croissants and the other packet of crisps. Yes petty I know. And DP says hes going to do the same with the beer in the fridge. hes pretty livid too and he doesn't get livid very often.

I hope they leave before we get up tomorrow. So surreal. Honestly. I'm exhausted.

I hope all that makes sense, as I did hit the wine pretty hard post dessert.

OP posts:
secretnames · 19/08/2022 21:24

obviously placemarking on this 👀

Delphinium20 · 19/08/2022 21:25

Oh, OP, can you please manage my life? You nailed this one - brilliant handling of this sticky situation. I'm so, so impressed!!!

secretnames · 19/08/2022 21:25

obviously placemarking on this 👀

secretnames · 19/08/2022 21:25

obviously placemarking on this 👀

Iknowforsure1 · 19/08/2022 21:26

If I’m invited for a dinner or my children for a sleepover, I never come with empty hands. It’s always something - snacks, fruits, drinks. I can’t imagine coming to someone’s house, living there for free and being fed for several days. I just can’t understand how?

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