Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
Emotionalsupportviper · 19/08/2022 20:33

DelurkingLawyer · 19/08/2022 14:51

If they had behaved like that in a restaurant after the several days of entitled behaviour you have had from them I’d have said “are you fucking kidding me after we fed and watered you for 4 days without any contribution whatsoever from you?”

As for getting them to leave, I would say this evening “right, we were only expecting you for a couple of days and we have plans from tomorrow so we will have to wave you off tomorrow morning.”

This.

You can decide when they leave - just tell them.

ICaughtTonsillitisFromAFriendsKid · 19/08/2022 20:33

I'm in hospital. I have no other entertainment but this.
That said, it's real people's lives so I wish all well.

WingingIt101 · 19/08/2022 20:34

Shameless placemarking. I am LOVING that OP made them go out for dinner and now hoping so much that this has spurred her on for asking them to leave!!

Narwhaleahoy · 19/08/2022 20:35

Wishing you well too. Hospital stays are grim.

LilliaJones · 19/08/2022 20:35

The CFs are blatantly the type of people who say

'You owe me 90p for your carpark ticket last week. Can you please transfer it back to me and let me know when sent x'

LilliaJones · 19/08/2022 20:36

The CFs are blatantly the type of people who say

'You owe me 90p for your carpark ticket last week. Can you please transfer it back to me and let me know when sent x'

Roussette · 19/08/2022 20:36

@ICaughtTonsillitisFromAFriendsKid

Awww I hope you are better soon! Flowers

This thread is a cracker!

Winterbaby21s · 19/08/2022 20:36

Can’t wait to find out what happens 😂😂

Blinkingheckythump · 19/08/2022 20:37

Stop enjoying cheesecake and come and update us @SeriouslyLosingTheWill ,🙈

Ahwelltoobad · 19/08/2022 20:39

Shamelessly placemarking!👀

Pugdogmom · 19/08/2022 20:40

I need to know how evening went !

helbel34 · 19/08/2022 20:41

PM

BruceAndNosh · 19/08/2022 20:42

I don't like steak but really want cheesecake now!

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 20:43

ICaughtTonsillitisFromAFriendsKid · 19/08/2022 20:33

I'm in hospital. I have no other entertainment but this.
That said, it's real people's lives so I wish all well.

Get well soon!

gettingalife · 19/08/2022 20:45

Also shamelessly placemarking! This is intriguing! Cannot believe the audacity of some people! Grin

gettingalife · 19/08/2022 20:45

Also shamelessly placemarking! This is intriguing! Cannot believe the audacity of some people! Grin

TitsInAbsentia · 19/08/2022 20:45

Blinkingheckythump · 19/08/2022 20:37

Stop enjoying cheesecake and come and update us @SeriouslyLosingTheWill ,🙈

Don't be daft...OP has clearly bludgeoned them to death and is clearing up the mess before finishing off the wine and crisps 😎

startfresh · 19/08/2022 20:46

@Tamworthian I'm doing my best to try and find it. I think the guy was also a local celebrity or something and his partner drove him there to pick it up. But I could be mixing up two threads. I probably am.

Dotcheck · 19/08/2022 20:48

Do you think they’ve made friends with the CF’s and they are all planning to meet between Christmas and New Years?

SicParvisMagna · 19/08/2022 20:48

All the mention of yummy food on this thread has meant I've not stopped stuffing my face all evening 😂No steak though but I really fancy some now!

Itsbritneybitch22 · 19/08/2022 20:49

Wtf tell them it’s been lovely having them but you’ve got plans and they need to fuck off now 😂

SwanBuster · 19/08/2022 20:51

Fully invested in this one. Brilliant thread!

Tubs11 · 19/08/2022 20:53

Best MN Friday night entrainment ever!

Nameandgamechange123 · 19/08/2022 20:54

Eagerly awaiting the UPDATE!!!! 🤣

Snegle · 19/08/2022 20:56

Good for you OP.
I used to be a people pleaser, and have had some situations like this where 'friends' have outstayed their welcome, at great cost to my bank balance and sanity. But I've now learned its always best to just ask people for what you want from them, even if it feels uncomfortable. A lot of people appear to be genuinely oblivious to their taking-the-pissery, and have different values.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.