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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
PollyPeePants · 19/08/2022 20:14

BorisJohnsonsHair · 19/08/2022 19:58

Toast them with a glass of wine and say thank you for buying all of this, I was beginning to think we'd have to pay for everything.

Yes 🙌 definitely this!

Shortkiwi · 19/08/2022 20:14

Loving this thread, please keep us updated, beats the TV!

theyoungishman · 19/08/2022 20:15

Fuuuuck! I'm about to board a plane and I really need an update!!!!

theyoungishman · 19/08/2022 20:16

I can't wait six hours find out wjat happens

SeptemberAlexandra · 19/08/2022 20:16

I’d keep the conversation light until after the cheesecake otherwise they will take it with them 😂

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 20:17

SeptemberAlexandra · 19/08/2022 20:16

I’d keep the conversation light until after the cheesecake otherwise they will take it with them 😂

😂Excellent point.

blumes · 19/08/2022 20:18

It pisses me right off people snacking whilst I am cooking dinner and then when you produce said dinner people pick at it and mumble I had too many snacks! My parents do this all the time! It's so rude!

JimTheShit · 19/08/2022 20:20

20.19 as I’m writing this. By my reckoning we will have an update in an hour or so. This is a great Friday nighter, thanks OP. All I need is a Parking one to top it off.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 19/08/2022 20:22

'Im nipping to the shops for some more food and drink, would you mind throwing some money in the pot as you haven't contributed so far?'

If they say no or give you £10 ask them to leave as they're costing you too much.

LadyCluck · 19/08/2022 20:23

Apologies if this has been suggested already, what are the chances that one of the CF is a mumsnetter?

Great thread. I’ve completely delayed making my own dinner as a result. 😁

Trudij123 · 19/08/2022 20:23

Late to the party, firmly team OP !!!

Popsicle33 · 19/08/2022 20:24

@TheWayoftheLeaf Brilliant. Of course she's going to say that after being a doormat for days on end 😏

Iloveartichokes · 19/08/2022 20:25

I’ve only read your posts OP. Scrunch up the bill and leave it where she placed it to give them a clear message.
If the CFs continue to push the boundaries this evening and your DC react, sit back and enjoy.

stuntbubbles · 19/08/2022 20:25

TheWayoftheLeaf · 19/08/2022 20:22

'Im nipping to the shops for some more food and drink, would you mind throwing some money in the pot as you haven't contributed so far?'

If they say no or give you £10 ask them to leave as they're costing you too much.

You may have missed an enormous chunk of the thread? Easy misteak to make.

Blanca87 · 19/08/2022 20:25

Breezily say with the receipt do you want to keep this or will I throw it in the bin.

marmitecake · 19/08/2022 20:26

theyoungishman · 19/08/2022 20:15

Fuuuuck! I'm about to board a plane and I really need an update!!!!

Yeah, why don't airlines have onboard wifi for these very mumsnet CF situations, sooo annoying. I had this recently when flying and following a great thread Grin
PS Good luck, op, you can do it....!

almostfamousme · 19/08/2022 20:27

Dying to find out how it went!

Tamworthian · 19/08/2022 20:28

startfresh · 19/08/2022 19:51

I live for proper live-tweet style threads about CFs or Parking (not seen a juicy parking one in ages, since the drive/emergency forest through-road parking/cyclists, I think)
Whilst I love the live excitement, I do have problems with patience and also enjoy the already concluded ones.

Strapping in for the next update 😆

Ooh I need to know how to find this thread!

LadyCluck · 19/08/2022 20:28

Easy misteak to make.

@stuntbubbles 😁😁😁😁

vipersnest1 · 19/08/2022 20:29

What @Hillsidehigh said. Don't even ask them about the receipt. If they ask, tell them you didn't know they wanted to keep it. VERY IMPORTANT: if you need to say it, say it with your best wide eyed and innocent expression. HaloGrin

Starlightstarbright1 · 19/08/2022 20:30

TwoMonthsOff · 19/08/2022 19:12

@SeriouslyLosingTheWill
have I missed a post or did you say they haven’t actually been out very much except the Tesco visit ? So basically they have been ‘dossing’ on your dime and not even visiting any local beauty spots or going out for lunch ?
And as PP said you also will have all their laundry and DNA to clear up when they have gone

🤣🤣🤣🤣

vipersnest1 · 19/08/2022 20:30

What @Hillsidehigh said. Don't even ask them about the receipt. If they ask, tell them you didn't know they wanted to keep it. VERY IMPORTANT: if you need to say it, say it with your best wide eyed and innocent expression. HaloGrin

polka6 · 19/08/2022 20:30

Another reader that's far too invested. Good luck OP, keen to hear what happens next! Stick to your guns.

vipersnest1 · 19/08/2022 20:31

Oh, sorry for the double post! Bloody internet.... Angry

Sami7 · 19/08/2022 20:32

CoffeeBeansGalore · 19/08/2022 14:47

Aren't you going away on Tuesday Op? Need to get things sorted so they need to leave Sunday pm at the latest.

Love love love! YES!!! You are brilliant.

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