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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
Arewerelated · 19/08/2022 19:53

QueenLagertha · 19/08/2022 19:39

@Arewerelated that made me laugh. My mum does a version of this when she wants rid of me plus my DH and kids. I pretend not to notice just so she has to do it again 😂

Dead ☠️☠️🤣🤣🤣

DucklingDaisy · 19/08/2022 19:53

I am on the edge of my seat waiting to read what happens with the receipt.

DucklingDaisy · 19/08/2022 19:54

I am on the edge of my seat waiting to read what happens with the receipt.

GoneWithTheWine1 · 19/08/2022 19:54

This is so much better than Mexican house thief.

I need to know if they want you to pay! 😂

Maireas · 19/08/2022 19:55

YesitsBess · 19/08/2022 19:51

Because most people are kind and hope for the best in people. It’s the boiling frog analogy in action.

But you know this. You must know this!

I do know it, Bess - I think I've just got a lot more direct as I've got older!
Genuinely, I would have asked them to leave before this, it's a home not a hotel.

Libre55 · 19/08/2022 19:56

Ask them to leave tomorrow. Don’t ask them when they are leaving! TELL THEM!

justasking111 · 19/08/2022 19:56

Mumsnet classic 😂😂

starfishmummy · 19/08/2022 19:56

Of theyvshow nonsense of leaving tomorrow can the teens be bribed somehow - loud music from about 6am, or PlayStation games or special other annoying noise. Repeat for every morning they are now there.

BorisJohnsonsHair · 19/08/2022 19:58

Toast them with a glass of wine and say thank you for buying all of this, I was beginning to think we'd have to pay for everything.

starfishmummy · 19/08/2022 19:58

No sign of leaving!!

Topsyturveymam · 19/08/2022 19:58

If they quibble about the restaurant bill, I can’t imagine they won’t expect you to foot the shopping bill! I can’t believe the cf if they do though. My bet is on them trying to split the shopping bill 50/50!

GoneWithTheWine1 · 19/08/2022 19:58

BorisJohnsonsHair · 19/08/2022 19:58

Toast them with a glass of wine and say thank you for buying all of this, I was beginning to think we'd have to pay for everything.

Haha. This.

Sunbird24 · 19/08/2022 20:00

Topsyturveymam · 19/08/2022 19:58

If they quibble about the restaurant bill, I can’t imagine they won’t expect you to foot the shopping bill! I can’t believe the cf if they do though. My bet is on them trying to split the shopping bill 50/50!

Not even that I reckon - there’s only 2 of them and 4 of OP’s family…

UnagiForLife · 19/08/2022 20:03

My advice would be to just go on strike until your DH asks them to leave, if he can’t ask them to leave then he can look after them and be a mug. Just totally stay away from them, keep yourself busy and don’t do anything for them and make it known through your actions that they’ve outstayed their welcome. They sound awful.

GettingItOutThere · 19/08/2022 20:03

oh wow op they are cheeky!!
glad they actually bought food though but i would absolutely say "when are you leaving?"

Narwhaleahoy · 19/08/2022 20:04

My first time on mumsnet today and came across this thread. I’m in awe, and totally gripped. OP please update soooooon!

NoEffingWay · 19/08/2022 20:04

I like your style!

Cantthinkofabettername · 19/08/2022 20:04

Have to keep coming back to this thread for the updates … hope the steak is good!

StoneofDestiny · 19/08/2022 20:04

Dont forget to ask them what time they are leaving in the morning!

Absolutely ignore the receipt and if they ask for anything say 'Are you serious, we have given you free accommodation, alcohol and meals for days without so much as a thank you. You even had to be pressured to buy this one meal!

Lbnc2021 · 19/08/2022 20:07

Come on OP, my son is getting impatient waiting for me to watch a movie with him!

ScreamingInfidelities · 19/08/2022 20:10

swifttwist · 19/08/2022 19:14

“You’ve left your receipt on the side, do you need it or will I just put it in the bin”?

@SeriouslyLosingTheWill I dare you 😂

Robyn188 · 19/08/2022 20:11

Wow, the absolute cheek of this pair! 😱
This thread is gripping!

ReginaFalangeee · 19/08/2022 20:12

Anyone else wondering if this is the the same guy Mexican House thief and his wife?

What a twist that would be!!

Hillsidehigh · 19/08/2022 20:12

Bin the receipt, don’t even mention it

Hillsidehigh · 19/08/2022 20:13

Bin the receipt, don’t even mention it

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