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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
Livpool · 19/08/2022 19:35

Poppyblush · 19/08/2022 18:42

DO NOT PAY FOR THE FOOD!

sweep the receipt with the rubbish into the bin

Do this!

Cheeky buggers

Igotjelly · 19/08/2022 19:35

I’m far too overly invested in these visitors and their cheekyfuckery 😂

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 19:36

piefacedClique · 19/08/2022 19:25

Forgot about that @ifIwerenotanandroid 😫

what about popping some optrex in their food tonight and some in their coffee tomorrow mornjng which will give them the shits! No one wants that in someone else’s home! They will miraculously recover….. but only once they are half way home!

Eyes on the prize, pie, eyes on the prize. 😀Getting rid of them while not paying the Tesco bill & retaining some booze in the house should surely be the main priorities (in that order).

As someone once said, "You deserve peace & happiness more than the b**ds deserve punishment." Words to remember & live by, I feel.

Pinkfilofax · 19/08/2022 19:39

Omg I can't believe how much I'm looking forward to your update 😂😂😂

QueenLagertha · 19/08/2022 19:39

@Arewerelated that made me laugh. My mum does a version of this when she wants rid of me plus my DH and kids. I pretend not to notice just so she has to do it again 😂

bewilderedhedgehog · 19/08/2022 19:40

Well done ! Will be watching this . Waiting for the showdown - but hoping for your sake there won’t be one…..

ivykaty44 · 19/08/2022 19:40

tbh id say

so what time are you away in the morning? Its just we wanted to plan out the day so we can be here to wave you off

ZenNudist · 19/08/2022 19:41

If they ask you to pay say "let's just call it quits with everything you've had this week "

grlwhowrites · 19/08/2022 19:41

Igotjelly · 19/08/2022 19:35

I’m far too overly invested in these visitors and their cheekyfuckery 😂

Omg me too! It's like a TV show, I am 100000% GRIPPED.
Good on you, OP, their cheeky fuckery is absolutely astounding. Stand your ground, you've been more than magnanimous and they don't bloody deserve it. Their receipt belongs in the bin!

MissBPotter · 19/08/2022 19:41

Wow op I’m so interested to see what happens tonight! If they dare ask for the money they will be the king and queen of cfs!! I really hope they leave asap for you - do tell them to if they’re not making plans to! And as everyone else has said, please don’t give them a single penny towards food! £103 is nothing compared to all the food and booze it sounds like you’ve paid for and how rude they’ve been to you. Cannot believe they didn’t pay for dinner and even quibbled Over the bill!

Maireas · 19/08/2022 19:44

People behave like this, because others permit it. I don't know why posters encourage deceit, being passive aggressive and playing games.
Why not just have a straightforward conversation and ask them to leave?
I am genuinely puzzled.

Aitchtee · 19/08/2022 19:45

I hardly been able to make my own dinner as I’m too invested in checking for updates on the CF-ery

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 19:45

On the plus side, the CFs have given OP & DP stories to gossip about/dine out on with the rest of the family...

comfortablyfrumpy · 19/08/2022 19:45

I am very much invested in this 😀.

Good on you for sticking to your guns.

Can you get one of your DCs to "accidentally" chuck the receipt? Perhaps when clearing things up?

Itching to see their reaction when they find out they are going tomorrow. Bet they try to take the leftover alcohol with them. Make sure they can't. Make sure the door to the garage us locked - and without the key in it!

Onionbhajisandwich · 19/08/2022 19:46

Oh wow - this is one of the best threads I’ve read on here for ages! Well done for standing up for yourself and I really hope you and DH enjoy every mouthful.

As a side note, I’d get the calendar out at dinner and organise a trip to their house (obviously with no intention of going) but I’m a petty fucker and I’d like to see them squirm a bit.

LookItsMeAgain · 19/08/2022 19:50

100% agree with putting the alcohol in your boot. As for opening the crisps, I would have gone out and said "Oh, don't ruin your appetite by eating crisps before dinner" and as politely as you can, grab the packet and disappear with it!

I can see this situation spreading to two threads. The night is still young 😆

LookItsMeAgain · 19/08/2022 19:50

100% agree with putting the alcohol in your boot. As for opening the crisps, I would have gone out and said "Oh, don't ruin your appetite by eating crisps before dinner" and as politely as you can, grab the packet and disappear with it!

I can see this situation spreading to two threads. The night is still young 😆

YesitsBess · 19/08/2022 19:51

Maireas · 19/08/2022 19:44

People behave like this, because others permit it. I don't know why posters encourage deceit, being passive aggressive and playing games.
Why not just have a straightforward conversation and ask them to leave?
I am genuinely puzzled.

Because most people are kind and hope for the best in people. It’s the boiling frog analogy in action.

But you know this. You must know this!

startfresh · 19/08/2022 19:51

I live for proper live-tweet style threads about CFs or Parking (not seen a juicy parking one in ages, since the drive/emergency forest through-road parking/cyclists, I think)
Whilst I love the live excitement, I do have problems with patience and also enjoy the already concluded ones.

Strapping in for the next update 😆

StarCourt · 19/08/2022 19:52

Am on tenterhooks op

8misskitty8 · 19/08/2022 19:52

I’d put the receipt in the bin or in a drawer and don’t mention paying.

LookItsMeAgain · 19/08/2022 19:52

Sorry for the double post. I got a "posting failed" message for the first one 😊

idonotmind · 19/08/2022 19:52

Mrs CF has placed the receipt on the kitchen side. I feel they want paying for this!

OMG this is absolutely gripping!!!!

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

😂

idonotmind · 19/08/2022 19:53

oh fuck i missed the crisps being opened

LondonJax · 19/08/2022 19:53

So we think they 'assume' you'll be paying them for the shopping BUT open the crisps as if it's they've bought them? I think they need a bit of educating about their manners.

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