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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
LookItsMeAgain · 19/08/2022 18:28

As for the beer/wine - if they bring it up say thanks to them for replenishing what they've drunk. And for the bottle they've left as a thank you for putting them up.

Play cheeky with feigned ignorance and dimness 😉

RagzRebooted · 19/08/2022 18:28

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/08/2022 18:26

They clearly think they’re staying tomorrow night as well with all that booze!

Exactly what I was thinking, the downside of them doing a big shop is implying they will be here to eat/drink it.

swedex · 19/08/2022 18:28

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/08/2022 18:27

Oooooooooh.... I can't believe you're not making the buggers cook it too tbh, I would... but then you may know something I don't, like they're shit in the kitchen and could burn a cup of tea!

Ignore that receipt, if anyone says 'oh I left you the receipt' say 'Ah yes thanks for reminding me, I'll dig out the rest of the receipts from this weeks shopping and alcohol and we can settle up what you owe us later! :D '

100% need to say this!

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 18:28

Expectalot · 19/08/2022 18:21

This can't be real. Nobody is that cheeky, are they?

Oh, I see you've never met my in-laws.

PrinceOfPegging · 19/08/2022 18:28

LAMPS1 · 19/08/2022 18:23

Go out to the garden and say something like ……
I’m afraid I’ve not had chance to think about our meal for this evening and I have to work late so would you mind nipping out to get supplies in for a meal please, I’m not fussed, whatever you want to cook, we will be glad of anything to be honest as we are really busy so anything you fancy making. Or maybe you’d prefer to eat out, up to you of course. Oh and while I’m thinking ahead, it is tomorrow morning you leave isn’t so please add breakfast stuff to the shopping list. Phew, we both have an awful lot on for the next few days so that would be really helpful if you could nip to the shops and start the meal, thanks.

RTFT

Mercedesbenz2022 · 19/08/2022 18:28

Ignore my message lol , stoopid phone !

just don’t pay

IcakethereforeIam · 19/08/2022 18:28

Didn't Churchil say something that would be apposite for this? 'This is not the end, but it's the end of the beginning' or something.

Salvia89 · 19/08/2022 18:28

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/08/2022 18:26

They clearly think they’re staying tomorrow night as well with all that booze!

Agreed 😬!!!

Starlight9876 · 19/08/2022 18:28

Bobbins36 · 19/08/2022 18:27

They def want paying I reckon! Stand firm OP! If they ask for it then say I assume you want contribute to your food and drink at some point in the visit? And also that if they took the Clubcard points then they can pay for it!

This! So this!

Mushroomlady · 19/08/2022 18:28

There's no way that anyone would put a receipt on the side if they were intending to pay for it themselves. CFs!!!
I can imagine them in Tesco doing supermarket sweep thinking they've been given a blank cheque and won't have to pay for any of it!! Wow.
Have they offered to help prepare dinner? Lay the table?

Sanch1 · 19/08/2022 18:29

Should ask them to cook it too!

SteerClear · 19/08/2022 18:29

The defo want reimbursing if they've let the receipt out.
Throw it in the bin.
Pretend you've not seen it.
Tell them to cook tea.
Did they get any sauces for the steaks?

MzHz · 19/08/2022 18:29

Get in there and thank them for the shopping trip and get the kids to say thanks for the Thank You meal, and hope they have a good trip back home tomorrow

plead all ignorance if they say they’re not going, and say, we told you when you arrived how we’re busy as of tomorrow and they’re going to have to make alternative plans <tinkly laugh, head tilt>

GlueyMooey · 19/08/2022 18:29

I'd go to hand the receipt back and ask if they want to keep it or should I throw it in the bin.

TwoMonthsOff · 19/08/2022 18:29

They have bought some decent food and drinks, perhaps they have had a change of heart but the leaving of receipt in full view is ominous ….enjoy your steak OP

justthecat · 19/08/2022 18:29

Id put the receipt in the bin and not mention it

forrestgreen · 19/08/2022 18:30

Spray the receipt with kitchen cleaner. Usually makes them unreadable

WallaceinAnderland · 19/08/2022 18:30

Don't leave the receipt there, chuck it in the bin. This means they will have to bring it up which forces them to stop being passive aggressive.

MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler · 19/08/2022 18:31

Ooooo CFs!!!!! Ignore the receipt OP!

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/08/2022 18:31

forrestgreen · 19/08/2022 18:30

Spray the receipt with kitchen cleaner. Usually makes them unreadable

That made me laugh. Even better than binning it!

I agree it’s beyond cheeky to decide you could spend your hosts money in this way.

MzHz · 19/08/2022 18:31

And it’s absolutely VITAL that they leave tomorrow without having been able to drink all that wine/beer - if they say anything say thanks for contributing to replacing what you’ve drunk all week.

TwoMonthsOff · 19/08/2022 18:32

@forrestgreen
hehe 😂

wineandcheeseplease · 19/08/2022 18:32

Put it in the bin!

Sunbird24 · 19/08/2022 18:32

Definitely prep the teens in advance to thank the CFs for dinner!

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 19/08/2022 18:32

Better than Corrie this!

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