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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman completely bollocked me for parking on double yellows..

399 replies

flowerpowder · 18/08/2022 20:37

I know, I am in the wrong because I parked wrong. For 2 minutes only, but nonetheless- wrong.

I was getting back into my car and this lady starts charging at me- I had both my Babies in the car. She starts screaming at me ' you can't park here, you can't park here. ' I put my hands up and say ' I know I'm sorry I'm sorry. ' She continues charging at my car. At this point I got scared and again said 'I am sorry and it won't happen again. '

I jumped into my car and locked the doors and she starts banging on my window, at which point - I again say ' look I understand and I won't park here again'.

Only then did she finally let off and I drove away.

Isn't that a bit of an extreme reaction ? I would never do that. Fair enough if I had got angry back, but I immediately apologised and backed down and she just kept going. She really scared me.

OP posts:
Original poster
flowerpowder · 19/08/2022 10:37

Butchyrestingface · 19/08/2022 09:23

But hey ho. One day she'll act like that with the wrong person and she'll pay the price for it.

Alternatively, one day YOU'LL park on double lines with the wrong person who won't just stop at running their mouth off.

I gave someone a mild telling off yesterday for driving through a red light whilst I was on the pedestrian crossing. I am sure it was water off a duck's back and they even tried to argue with me they didn't have a red light. Maybe if I'd frothed off at them, they'd have taken it a bit more seriously. Grin

Guess who'll be absolutely in the wrong if someone assaults me ? Such a dumb response.

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 19/08/2022 10:39

girlmom21 · 19/08/2022 09:58

@Lunar270 yes, unless you're told it's safe to do so you shouldn't get out the car on the motorway. That would be ridiculous too!

What in static traffic? I was stuck on the M5 for three hours once. Everyone got out.

Butchyrestingface · 19/08/2022 10:52

Guess who'll be absolutely in the wrong if someone assaults me ? Such a dumb response.

You were the one who raised the possibility that one day SHE may run foul of the wrong person (and get assaulted). Anyone doing that would surely be just as in the wrong for assaulting her as they would be for assaulting you for parking on double yellow lines - wouldn't you agree?

I can't imagine starting a thread to complain about someone merely yelling at me for doing something where I had been 100% in the wrong but, hey.

SleepingAgent · 19/08/2022 10:55

I had to get something from the boot of my car because my baby was crying. Then I was just comforting Baby for a couple of minutes. I know, not ideal.

Why couldn't you have driven on another couple of minutes to find somewhere safe and legal to park? I would hope you'd want to keep your babies safe rather than exposing them to any danger. And if you can't see why parking on double yellow lines might be dangerous, even if you can't immediately see the reason for them being there, then you shouldn't be driving.

Unless it was an urgent/emergency medical need, you could have let baby cry a little bit longer while you found somewhere safe. Obviously if it's an emergency (baby choking or something) that's far more understandable.

Original poster
flowerpowder · 19/08/2022 11:05

Butchyrestingface · 19/08/2022 10:52

Guess who'll be absolutely in the wrong if someone assaults me ? Such a dumb response.

You were the one who raised the possibility that one day SHE may run foul of the wrong person (and get assaulted). Anyone doing that would surely be just as in the wrong for assaulting her as they would be for assaulting you for parking on double yellow lines - wouldn't you agree?

I can't imagine starting a thread to complain about someone merely yelling at me for doing something where I had been 100% in the wrong but, hey.

Assault is always wrong. Even if someone has parked badly, assaulting them would be wrong.

It would also be wrong if the lady gets assaulted one day for her behaviour. But I think she needs to be careful, because she's taking that risk with the wrong person, by being so aggressive.

OP posts:
SleepingAgent · 19/08/2022 11:07

curlymom · 18/08/2022 22:16

What an overreaction. It’s not dangerous and you were there couple minutes. Blue badge can stop there for hours

Oh the psychic has arrived who just KNOWS it wasn't a dangerous place to stop!! Amazing insight!! ConfusedHmm

Butchyrestingface · 19/08/2022 11:12

It would also be wrong if the lady gets assaulted one day for her behaviour. But I think she needs to be careful, because she's taking that risk with the wrong person, by being so aggressive.

I agree. And my point - the one that you called "dumb" -, was that by doing something illegal and potentially dangerous, you TOO were taking a risk with the wrong person. You now know that stupid, illegal and dangerous parking manoeuvres can really rile some people up - on this occasion you were lucky it was just some wee woman who got a bit shouty.

Original poster
flowerpowder · 19/08/2022 11:13

Butchyrestingface · 19/08/2022 11:12

It would also be wrong if the lady gets assaulted one day for her behaviour. But I think she needs to be careful, because she's taking that risk with the wrong person, by being so aggressive.

I agree. And my point - the one that you called "dumb" -, was that by doing something illegal and potentially dangerous, you TOO were taking a risk with the wrong person. You now know that stupid, illegal and dangerous parking manoeuvres can really rile some people up - on this occasion you were lucky it was just some wee woman who got a bit shouty.

I think you're more likely to get beaten up by doing what she did though.. that's my point.

OP posts:
SleepingAgent · 19/08/2022 11:34

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 19/08/2022 08:30

His cross was in for a service?

GrinGrinGrin

I totally agree with all your posts re respecting religious fantasy figures.

No I won't kowtow to ancient stories that you've been brainwashed to believe in to keep the powerful in society in charge and keep women "in their place". All religions can get in the bin as far as I'm concerned.

Nobetterthansheoughttobe · 19/08/2022 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

But your actions, despite breaking highway code, were?
How arrogant you are.

eastegg · 19/08/2022 13:07

flowerpowder · 19/08/2022 10:37

Guess who'll be absolutely in the wrong if someone assaults me ? Such a dumb response.

Show quote history

But in your example - woman shouts at someone for parking badly/illegally and then gets assaulted - the person doing the assaulting would also be the one in the wrong. Not dumb to point out that the principle of ‘do something that creates conflict and you might get hit’ could cut both ways.

eastegg · 19/08/2022 13:09

I see there’s been some cross-posting.

eastegg · 19/08/2022 13:13

Butchyrestingface · 19/08/2022 09:59

Going off topic here but I’m really curious about how you got the opportunity to speak to this offender. It’s happened to me lots but I’ve never had the satisfaction as the whole point is that they’ve gone!

Because I was heading into a shop just beyond the crossing. They parked up 20.yards along the road and got out, also heading into shop, so I waited until they approached and spoke to them.

"Are you sure?", sez he.

But yeah, generally speaking, how would you ever get to speak to them? Tres irritating.

Ah ok, cool. I’m like you and would (fairly politely) confront if given the rare opportunity.

JacquelineCarlyle · 19/08/2022 13:44

SavoirFlair · 19/08/2022 07:45

Op @flowerpowder this “deserved a smack from someone” quote is really depressing and slightly disturbing.

it’s depressing because so many road problems seem to result in the person who committed the wrong, giving a volley of verbal abuse to the person complaining, who then returns back a load of sweary abuse..

Is the next logical step that someone will “serve her right” and assault her? Is that the direction we are going in?

this country (and many others) has a huge problem with folk being told about their behaviour.

Recently I drove the wrong way around a car park where the arrows weren’t clear. Someone coming the other way a distance away pointed this out , admittedly a little animated.

know what I did?

I stopped. I put the car in reverse. I moved back and held a hand up.

because I was wrong!!

it doesn’t matter what the other person did or their hand gestures. I’ll never see them again. I couldn’t care. i was wrong and I corrected my driving mistake.

OP, you were wrong. You were wrong to stop on double yellow lines and could have found somewhere else to stop. It wasn’t an emergency. But the fact the other person was aggressive, doesn’t mean you can jump on here in the aim of getting a ton of sympathy, and ignore the fact you were wrong, and should have acknowledged that somewhere in this.

Well said.

Original poster
flowerpowder · 19/08/2022 13:50

*I know, I am in the wrong because I parked wrong. For 2 minutes only, but nonetheless- wrong.

Literally the first thing I wrote, that I was wrong.

Please read. I was wrong wrong wrong and so was she, to become so aggressive. It was not necessary.

OP posts:
Original poster
flowerpowder · 19/08/2022 13:53

People were writing on here that I would get assaulted too for parking wrong. I'm just saying she needs to watch herself. Road rage is dangerous. She road raged at me. It was NOT OK. Someone else might have hit her, or worse. That's why you never get into conformations like that with people, you just never know. Same goes for bars and pubs, just stay out of that kind of aggressive confrontation. Same goes for any type of road rage.

OP posts:
Original poster
flowerpowder · 19/08/2022 13:55

also, let's not forget that I was fine to be told I was WRONG and put my hands up, yet she continued to berate me and even touched my car and scared me to the extent that I locked my doors because I did not know what she was going to do. Completely ridiculous. And most of you are sticking up for this ! Says it all really. Good luck to all you perfect people.

OP posts:
LuftBalloons · 19/08/2022 14:29

I was wrong wrong wrong and so was she, to become so aggressive.

FFS @flowerpowder if you hadn't parked illegally (so presumably dangerously) she wouldn't have had to do anything.

Take responsibility - your actions caused her response.

But this is a variation on the classic AIBU thread:

OP: AIBU?

Everyone else: YABU

OP: But really, I'm not. The other person was as bad as me.

Everyone else: YABU

OP: You're all meeeeeeeeeeeean girls <flounces off>

Original poster
flowerpowder · 19/08/2022 14:33

LuftBalloons · 19/08/2022 14:29

I was wrong wrong wrong and so was she, to become so aggressive.

FFS @flowerpowder if you hadn't parked illegally (so presumably dangerously) she wouldn't have had to do anything.

Take responsibility - your actions caused her response.

But this is a variation on the classic AIBU thread:

OP: AIBU?

Everyone else: YABU

OP: But really, I'm not. The other person was as bad as me.

Everyone else: YABU

OP: You're all meeeeeeeeeeeean girls <flounces off>

Her response was not reasonable !

OP posts:
Usernum6737283 · 19/08/2022 14:35

Op, I can't believe some of the responses. It was never okay for the woman to act like that. Even if she was annoyed, she didn't have to act like that. As a parent I've stopped on yellow lines to grab something. I wouldn't do it where it was visibility dangerous like a main road or junction or whatever. Some places are would be fine.

so many perfect people on mumsnet 😅

most of the yellow lines near me would be okay to stop on for a couple minutes if necessary. The visibility is fine, they are just put there to stop visitors parking on them rather than the car parks!

mumsney has gone mad.

the woman likely wouldn't have started a scene with a grown man would she, you were an easy target.

Original poster
flowerpowder · 19/08/2022 14:45

Usernum6737283 · 19/08/2022 14:35

Op, I can't believe some of the responses. It was never okay for the woman to act like that. Even if she was annoyed, she didn't have to act like that. As a parent I've stopped on yellow lines to grab something. I wouldn't do it where it was visibility dangerous like a main road or junction or whatever. Some places are would be fine.

so many perfect people on mumsnet 😅

most of the yellow lines near me would be okay to stop on for a couple minutes if necessary. The visibility is fine, they are just put there to stop visitors parking on them rather than the car parks!

mumsney has gone mad.

the woman likely wouldn't have started a scene with a grown man would she, you were an easy target.

Typical Mumsnet right ??

' your actions caused her response ' of course that's true and my actions were wrong, however that doesn't mean her response wasn't wrong does it ? You are condoning it or like some posters, calling me a liar basically.

If I cheat on my husband, my actions are also wrong. If he hits me in a rage when he finds out, his actions are also wrong. I caused his actions, but it doesn't make his actions right...

Anyway, now with all the- why did you post is you weren't prepared to be told you're unreasonable - I know I was, I said that in my opening sentence. But she was too. But you just want to keep beating down on me, clearly. It's fun right ? Never mind anyway. It's really not important in the grand scheme of things.

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 19/08/2022 14:53

I do find it interesting how so many people have no problem with this and it is 'between the driver and traffic warden'. When I posted the other day about crossing a pelican crossing diagonally most drivers thought it was fine to use the horn aggressively and shout at us as we were still on the crossing for a couple of seconds after the lights had changed.

Blossomtoes · 19/08/2022 15:43

I think you’ll find the majority of drivers on MN are among the most aggressive on the roads @UndertheCedartree. They think they have exceptional driving skills and anyone who isn’t perfect shouldn’t be on the road. Fortunately I rarely meet their ilk in the wild.

girlfriend44 · 19/08/2022 16:07

SavoirFlair · 19/08/2022 07:45

Op @flowerpowder this “deserved a smack from someone” quote is really depressing and slightly disturbing.

it’s depressing because so many road problems seem to result in the person who committed the wrong, giving a volley of verbal abuse to the person complaining, who then returns back a load of sweary abuse..

Is the next logical step that someone will “serve her right” and assault her? Is that the direction we are going in?

this country (and many others) has a huge problem with folk being told about their behaviour.

Recently I drove the wrong way around a car park where the arrows weren’t clear. Someone coming the other way a distance away pointed this out , admittedly a little animated.

know what I did?

I stopped. I put the car in reverse. I moved back and held a hand up.

because I was wrong!!

it doesn’t matter what the other person did or their hand gestures. I’ll never see them again. I couldn’t care. i was wrong and I corrected my driving mistake.

OP, you were wrong. You were wrong to stop on double yellow lines and could have found somewhere else to stop. It wasn’t an emergency. But the fact the other person was aggressive, doesn’t mean you can jump on here in the aim of getting a ton of sympathy, and ignore the fact you were wrong, and should have acknowledged that somewhere in this.

Absolutely this. Hardly anyone ever admits their wrong. So many ppl resort to sticking their finger up today. No courtesy on the road today.

CrapBag39 · 19/08/2022 18:06

Its AIBU, people will tell you the sky is green here. Anything to get a rise. Also Mnet in general these days. You were wrong OP but she was also wrong. Verbally abusing and intimidating someone because you’re unhappy with something they’ve done is never acceptable. If she was so bothered she could have taken a pic and took your reg and reported you. Screaming at and intimidating a person in front of their children is never ok.