Page 9 | To have said something?!

Briony22 · 2022-08-18T17:21:40+00:00

At the supermarket earlier, and parked in a parent and child space with DH and 10 month old DS. As I was getting DS out of the car a car pulled into the parent and child space next to us, and a woman got out and started walking towards the supermarket without any kids. I called after her and said "You know you've parked in a P&C space, yeah?" and she started huffing and puffing that she had her son with her, who was in the car. I pointed out that the spaces are for parents with children who need the extra room to get them out of the car, and then she said that her son was disabled and that she had a disabled badge. I then said that the disabled spaces were in another area of the car park, at which point she started getting her son out of the car and telling him that he had to come into the shop "because that mental lady was kicking off". I'm just so sick of entitled fuckers using these spaces without any need to when I've often struggled trying to get DS out of his car seat without sufficient space. DH was mortified and said I should have just left it. WIBU?

ForTheLoveOfSleep · 19/08/2022 00:36

Briony22 · 19/08/2022 00:30

@ThePumpkinPatch Thanks so much for your kindness, it really means a lot!

@UWhatNow I tried that once and ended up with an £80 parking fine!

@SuperCamp I'm afraid you've misunderstood. At no point did I tell the woman she could only use the space if her child got out.

@Relevanceiskey @MalloryMae Thank you!

@ForTheLoveOfSleep I didn't say anything about your daughter? You clearly have some issues which you're projecting onto me. I can assure you I don't have an SUV nor a "stupidly expensive" car seat!

I was responding to another poster in relation to a previous post

rainbowmilk · 19/08/2022 00:36

I always wonder what people who apparently can’t get out unless there’s a P&C space do if they’re all taken or they go to a place that doesn’t provide them, Do they go home, or do they park in a normal space and figure it out somehow? I grew up in an era where they didn’t exist and whilst I get that we shouldn’t hark back to more difficult times for no reason, their introduction seems to have either made people more feeble or more keen on buying gigantic car seats or prams. If you can’t manage without a space that is not legally required to be provided, then you need to have alternative options for your own functioning, and shouting at people is not a good one.

ladydimitrescu · 19/08/2022 00:43

You really need to wind your neck in, op.
Privately seethe, but you confronted a woman with a disabled child. You're talking about how upset these comments have made you - how do you think you made that mother and her child feel?

You have no idea what's happening in peoples lives.
I remember sitting in the car with my best friend after her baby died. She pulled into a parent space out of habit, and a woman approached the car kicking off.
It was absolutely horrific for my friend.

Don't comment in future, you've no idea how badly you could have effected that woman. My friend won't go to that store ever again, and it's been 10 years.

Glitterblue · 19/08/2022 00:45

I always worry about the P & C spaces if, for example, DH stays in the car with DD (15 months) while he finishes a call and is going to join me with her in a minute or one of us heads back to the car with her before the other one who is maybe spied returning to the car alone. I often go back with her while DH pays and I always expect someone to have a go at him!

Vecna · 19/08/2022 00:58

Yabu because she had a blue badge which entitles her to park there no matter the circumstances.

I don't get the resentment over P&C bays though. I wish they were further away because having two small children in car seats, I often need them. A few weeks ago, I had to leave my toddler in his pram whilst I moved my car over after getting my newborn in. He thought I was leaving him and cried. I don't know why anyone would begrudge us a space big enough that that's not necessary.

excitingusername · 19/08/2022 01:08

Parent and child spaces seem to be mostly respected and even if people do use them to nip in and out, who cares? I think you were rude and OTT. If you've a kid in the car it's valid.

LoveMeForARaisin · 19/08/2022 01:10

But…she wasn’t going to take the child out? I don’t understand. she didn’t actually need the space until the OP confronted her.

i mean I get that these are a courtesy and all that, there’s nothing legally stopping her using the space - fine. But it’s not like she was taking her child out of the car and the OP then berated her for not using a disabled space. That’s not what happened. The OP didn’t know she had a child because she was leaving the child in the car.

i don’t particularly care about P&C spaces. But whilst I absolutely would not have done what the OP did, I think a lot of posters have misread the original post and are now doubling down.

Gagaandgag · 19/08/2022 01:11

I have to go against the consensus and say I agree. This has happened to me so often. Once I was struggling with my newborn and 3 year old autistic son and barely glanced over at the couple who pulled up in the space beside me and she started saying “are you looking to check if we are in the parent child space?” So I said well yes I was, I just think you should save it for people who have children with them. She started being verbally abusive shouting they were off to meet their daughter and grandson in town later!

Other times I’ve seen loads of guys on their own just pull in. Just find it rude. I wouldn’t dream of parking in an inappropriate space

I guess some people just don’t care

QueenCamilla · 19/08/2022 01:17

It's a type of road-rage OP is displaying.

BashfulClam · 19/08/2022 01:20

I will use them with my elderly mother. She isn’t disabled enough for a blue badge but she needs to open the door as far as possible. I then need to help her steady herself a she climbs out of the car, I need extra space to do so. She also needs a space a bit closer to the doors. Anyone shouting the odds would be told to get to fuck. It’s stressful enough for her.

Lovethemarsbars · 19/08/2022 01:33

You didn't like someone with a disabled badge for a disabled child parking in a space for parents with children? Seriously?

But then you are not serious, just bored and looking to say something that will annoy people.

Marvellousmadness · 19/08/2022 02:35

Omg you kicked up a fuzz about a mum parking there with her DISABLED kid.
Jezus. No wonder your dh was mortified

Aus84 · 19/08/2022 02:37

Wish they would just get rid of these ridiculous parking space and just turn them into wider parking for the elderly who don’t qualify for disabled parking.

Kitkatcatflap · 19/08/2022 02:54

Wow. You really didn't feel the need to stop when she said she had a disabled child in the car.

Danceswithkids · 19/08/2022 03:05

Apparently Mumsnetters live in a world where no one ever lies when caught out doing something wrong. Seems more likely than someone asking a disabled child to get out the car to score points in a minor argument to me.

NeedMoreMilk · 19/08/2022 03:27

@ThePumpkinPatch I have no idea specifically which bit of what I said upset you.

I am surprised by the biscuit (my second ever one, on the same thread) given that I was, to an extent, defending the OP and so were you?

dribblewibble · 19/08/2022 06:48

LoveMeForARaisin · 19/08/2022 01:10

But…she wasn’t going to take the child out? I don’t understand. she didn’t actually need the space until the OP confronted her.

i mean I get that these are a courtesy and all that, there’s nothing legally stopping her using the space - fine. But it’s not like she was taking her child out of the car and the OP then berated her for not using a disabled space. That’s not what happened. The OP didn’t know she had a child because she was leaving the child in the car.

i don’t particularly care about P&C spaces. But whilst I absolutely would not have done what the OP did, I think a lot of posters have misread the original post and are now doubling down.

The op didnt need the space either. She had her DH with her.

She may have used them to be closer to the store so she could run in and out quickly. We have no idea.

But the op didn't need the space either.

dribblewibble · 19/08/2022 06:55

Somehow I'd missed that you told her to go and park in the disabled spaces.

I never failed to be shocked by the sense of superiority and entitlement from people.

I used to park in those spaces. I was disabled but not disabled enough for a blue badge. Have you any idea how hard it is to get one?

I asked in my local supermarket about parking in them and they took a note of my reg and said it was fine. They could see how disabled I was.

It was a reasonable adjustment for my disability. To which I am legally entitled.

I have a blue badge now (yay go me) but I still park on them if the disabled spaces are full. Do people in real life really do this? Judge and harangue?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL · 19/08/2022 07:16

Danceswithkids · 19/08/2022 03:05

Apparently Mumsnetters live in a world where no one ever lies when caught out doing something wrong. Seems more likely than someone asking a disabled child to get out the car to score points in a minor argument to me.

Yes a bit like I've seen so many people using the p&c that shouldn't be.

MrsClatterbuck · 19/08/2022 07:26

If ahe originally intended to leave her son in the car but was using his blue badge then that is against the rules for said badge. The badge is for the benefit of the holder and not so the non holder can park somewhere more convenient for them and leave the holder in the car. I used the parent and child spaces occasionally when out with my dm who had a blue badge but would have moved the car to a disabled spot when I could.

dribblewibble · 19/08/2022 07:28

MrsClatterbuck · 19/08/2022 07:26

If ahe originally intended to leave her son in the car but was using his blue badge then that is against the rules for said badge. The badge is for the benefit of the holder and not so the non holder can park somewhere more convenient for them and leave the holder in the car. I used the parent and child spaces occasionally when out with my dm who had a blue badge but would have moved the car to a disabled spot when I could.

She was in a P&C space. The rules of blue badges don't apply to them.

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 07:39

BashfulClam · 19/08/2022 01:20

I will use them with my elderly mother. She isn’t disabled enough for a blue badge but she needs to open the door as far as possible. I then need to help her steady herself a she climbs out of the car, I need extra space to do so. She also needs a space a bit closer to the doors. Anyone shouting the odds would be told to get to fuck. It’s stressful enough for her.

Relevance? This is not the same situation at all. I get annoyed when people use the spaces when they don’t need to. You have a clear need.

turquoise1988 · 19/08/2022 07:42

I don't get it?

She had a disabled child, but she wasn't originally going to get him out of the car? So why did she need the space?

I thought the point of the spaces was so that you have enough room to open your door wide to get the child out?

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 07:43

Relevanceiskey · 19/08/2022 00:14

OP, I'm entirely with you. Everyone has seemed to jump on some weird bandwagon of "DISABLED SPACES ARE PROTECTED BY LAW PARENT AND CHILD SPACES ARENT. Yes but is it not common courtesy to not use these spaces unless you need to? Imagine getting called entitled for wanting to use a space for its intended purpose. I mean, I don't have kids but I hope when I do I dent the side of your car when I'm trying to get my baby out because some twat couldn't be bothered to walk a bit further.

Love this comment. Really weird attitude some folk have that you should only be courteous when it’s required of you by law!

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 07:50

turquoise1988 · 19/08/2022 07:42

I don't get it?

She had a disabled child, but she wasn't originally going to get him out of the car? So why did she need the space?

I thought the point of the spaces was so that you have enough room to open your door wide to get the child out?

She didn’t need the space. But because disability was mentioned many people have had an emotional response and started shouting about rights for the disabled. An incredibly important issue - but not really relevant here as the disabled boy’s rights were in no way infringed. Several posters have mentioned their own or their relative’s disabilities. It’s obviously an emotive issue. They are projecting their situation onto this and losing sight of what actually happened.