To have said something?!

[Briony22]

At the supermarket earlier, and parked in a parent and child space with DH and 10 month old DS.

As I was getting DS out of the car a car pulled into the parent and child space next to us, and a woman got out and started walking towards the supermarket without any kids.

I called after her and said "You know you've parked in a P&C space, yeah?" and she started huffing and puffing that she had her son with her, who was in the car. I pointed out that the spaces are for parents with children who need the extra room to get them out of the car, and then she said that her son was disabled and that she had a disabled badge. I then said that the disabled spaces were in another area of the car park, at which point she started getting her son out of the car and telling him that he had to come into the shop "because that mental lady was kicking off".

I'm just so sick of entitled fuckers using these spaces without any need to when I've often struggled trying to get DS out of his car seat without sufficient space.

DH was mortified and said I should have just left it.

WIBU?

@allyouneedismarmite

Thanks for adding some perspective. As I thought!

The op didn't need the space either though. She had her DH with her. He or she could've stopped the car and whoever wasn't driving could've got the child out and gone to change them.

OK, so I appreciate that the general consensus is that I was in the wrong. But surely the point is that, disabled or not, the extra space isn't needed if the person isn't actually getting out of the car?

Another benefit is they're generally close to the shop so if you are leaving your disabled child in the car you can keep half an eye on them while grabbing some shopping.

Yabu

Mind your own business, doesn’t matter if she had a child with her or not, you’re not the parking police.

Maybe. But our local supermarket has a drop off bay around the side which is always full of parked cars! Wouldn’t be possible there.

I’ve never been in a supermarket that has a good view of the car park from inside. There may well be valid reasons to want to park close to the shop but this one seems unlikely.

yABVU - she has a disabled child, that need FAR trumps a p&c space.

I haven't RTFT but at the point at which she mentioned her disabled son was in the car I think I would have piped the fuck down.

Your grandmother was breaking the rules of the blue badge scheme. You should only park in a blue badge space if the badge holder is getting out of the car.

I’ve already listed dome reasons why she may have needed the bay. None of the OP’s cheerleaders seem to want to acknowledge them.

And trying to pass those of us explaining why you can’t tell someone to move to a disabled bay having as an emotional response is so dismissive. You have learnt nothing from this thread, except to dig in to your own sense of superiority.

The facts are:

The woman was perfectly entitled to park there.
The OP had no right to tell her where to park.

You and OP still don’t get it.

But she didn't get out the car
.........

But RTFT

@Meraas You and I need to agree to disagree. You have formed a derogatory opinion of me and are ignoring anything I say that doesn’t feed into that. I absolutely agree that the rights of people with disabilities need to be protected. I just don’t think those rights were infringed in this particular instance. It’s very obvious from the language used in many of these posts that people have had an emotional reaction. That’s why you are wasting energy insulting me instead of calmly explaining your views. I’m not sure how you can deny that.

Lots of people have been triggered here due to their own experiences and are projecting based on emotional pov due to the boys disability.

I doubt they'd feel the same if all BB and family spaces were full, to realise that a person was going into the store without their child or BB holder and therefore not needing the space as much as them. Or would they seriously be happy having to park in a non BB/child space with a disabled child with the knowledge that a space wasn't truly needed by other customers?

I don't think I would've said something to the lady in the OP especially as OP managed to get a space but would be interesting to know if lots of posters on here would feel the same if it was them in need of that space.

@allyouneedismarmite I’ve been calm and clear with you throughout, your attempts at goadiness don’t faze me I’m afraid.

You still haven’t acknowledged that you can’t tell someone to move to a disabled bay, so you still don’t get it. As I said, dismissing those pointing out disabled rights as being emotional is the epitome of being ableist.

I doubt they'd feel the same if all BB and family spaces were full, to realise that a person was going into the store without their child or BB holder and therefore not needing the space as much as them. Or would they seriously be happy having to park in a non BB/child space with a disabled child with the knowledge that a space wasn't truly needed by other customers?

But who are you to judge whether the space was needed? You have no idea what disability that child had.

It's annoying op i get that. I have a small baby and older dc so I've been there when you can't get the car seat out etc.

I don't think it's the fact that you called her out on parking there without a child (as that's clearly how it appeared on first glance). It's more the fact that you continued to berate her after she'd explained her situation. I think most people would just drop it at that not point not keep arguing.

@Meraas You have insulted me several times. I don’t see that as being calm. You could have easily made your points without name calling. You chose not to.

I agree that you can’t tell someone to move to a disabled bay. I don’t think that’s what happened here.

I’m not dismissing people pointing out disabled rights - I have explicitly acknowledged the importance of those rights. I just don’t think disabled rights are the issue here.

I’m not sure what it is you think I need to learn. If you have anything constructive to add to this discussion and can do it without hurling further insults, please do. If not then I’m not interested.

The bottom line is unless you're employed by the owner of the car park and tasked with policing their car park then its actually none of your business where people are parking and you have no right to harass then over it.

@Meraas if the BB holder or child aren't going into the store then the intention of that space isn't being used correctly. Do I really care? No. Would I start a fight about it? Nah... but if that lady took the last BB and child friendly space and was going into the store by herself, then along comes another parent with a disabled child who is going into the store with them/can't be left by themselves for various reasons, then I can see why people might kick up a fuss. Or are you saying you'd be absolutely fine with that?

Where have I insulted you? Name one.

And what interpretation would you put on OP telling the woman that the disabled bays are somewhere else?

It wasn’t a BB space.

The woman said her child was disabled.

You can’t see all disabilities.

So yee, I’d be happy with her having that spot.

They should just make them at the back of the carpark which is always empty anyway. Ample space, no competition with the pesky blue badges...

So according to you I don’t give a shit about disabled people, I’m so fucking superior, I live in cloud cuckoo land, I’m abelist and obtuse. Are you seriously saying none of that is insulting?! We’ve already covered what we think of OPs comments. I’m not going to start repeating myself. Please leave me alone now.

@allyouneedismarmite and yet more exaggeration from you. I have not said the words 'shit' or 'fucking' to you at all, in any context.

If you have to make up swear words to show I have 'name called' then it's clear you have a weak argument.

I do think you have chosen to be obtuse at times and that your comments have been ableist and I stand by that. You are so sensitive for your self, yet have zero sympathy for this woman OP was haranguing. I should be surprised by this but I'm not.