Sister threw DS out of the photo

[HellMc]

My DS (10) has always pulled silly faces in photos, he’s done it since he was a toddler. We tried getting him to stop but it’s like he can’t help himself so we just got on with it. We assumed if we didn’t make a fuss out of it he’s grow out of it but he didn’t. All of his school photos have silly faces etc and now we just laugh. The only photos we have of him not doing a silly face are the natural ones he didn’t know we were taking.

Anyway yesterday me, DS, sister, her kids and my other sisters son went on a day out a national heritage site. Sister wanted a group photo of all the kids so they all stood together in front of the ruins. Sister then said to DS “either stop pulling faces or stand over there out of the photo” 😱 it came as a shock as everyone was laughing at him initially and then she suddenly got mad. I told her I thought she was being a bit harsh and she said “sorry but I’ve been trying to take a nice photo of them all all day for mum and he’s ruined every one so far”.

I told DS to just this once not pull a face but he continued doing so so sister told him to get out of shot. She then took the photo of the other kids and said “there, finally mum will have a photo for her wall”.

so I said mum would want all the kids together so she said “actually, mum told me to take the pic without your ds if he insisted on pulling a face, she was annoyed with the last lot of photos I took her because he’d ruined them all.

I feel hurt, not just about my sister but also what my mum (his grandma!) has clearly been saying!!

AIBu to feel hurt at DS being excluded from a family photo that is destined for my mums wall??

Attention seeking.

😂

Its a photo being taken, not a bungy jump. What is he nervous about?

He is an NT 10 year old. No reason to not be able to behave for ten seconds for a photo. Your sister was absolutely right. Your DM must be sick of it too.

I think you need to stop indulging him with attention when he does this. However will you get a passport photo or school ID photo if you need one?

10 is too old for that behaviour. YABU

I'm surprised too, why would parents want to buy a group class/school photo where the stand out image was OP's child pulling a silly face?

I can imagine the feeling among the other parents of another group shot ruined by Op's son.

By age 10 I would expect better.

Reverse?

It's natural consequences. You haven't gently corrected his disuprtive/attention-seeking behaviour, so now people don't want him in their photos.

I'm obviously in the minority, but I think it's weird your mum would rather not have a photo of her grandchild than have one of him being himself. It's not like he's flicking the Vs in photos, he's just pulling a silly face!
It's not remotely weird. I'll bet she has more than enough photos of his gurning mug already.
The alternative to him doing his usual attention seeking in the group photo was not "not having a photo of her grandchild"

I wonder if he’s uncomfortable so pulls a funny face. Rather than getting annoyed he perhaps could get a choice- normal face or we don’t have you in the photo. Then he’s made the decision. It’s his photo/body so should get a choice. I don’t think children should be made to pose if they don’t feel comfortable.

Your method of waiting for him to get bored hasn't worked. Maybe this will. I can see how it would sting to realise how annoyed people (including your mum) are by your son's immaturity, but he's ten! He doesn't have to pull faces. It's not as though they're kicking him out of photos for something he can't help, like his weight or acne.

He's 10.

He's not being "funny" anymore.

Honestly people/kids who do that really piss me off when I'm trying to take a nice photo

Sorry but I agree with your sister. Maybe she shouldn’t have said what she said in the end but she gave him chances and a warning of what could happen and she followed through on it. If she just ignored it then he will continue to pull silly faces. He is 10, I understand a young child doing it but it’s now become natural for him and he thinks it’s okay. If you’re happy for him to continue then that’s good for you and your dh but you can’t expect family to want him pulling faces in family photos. It’s either something you work on with him or you have to explain to him and accept yourselves that he may be excluded from family photos in the future.
He may not care about that but I guess it’s you two that miss out.

I was ready to be outraged on your behalf but actually in this case, I do think YABU.
He's 10. He's more than old enough to understand what he's doing and control himself. Your sister gave him the choice to either be in the picture without pulling faces or not be in it. He chose to keep pulling faces.
I think you need to talk to him about why people are finding it annoying and ask him why he does it.

😅

Poor baby 🙄

Sorry OP YABU, he's 10 not 2!

A lesson for both you and DS here. DS has hopefully learned that not everyone in life is willing to tolerate poor behaviour and that people will exclude him if he chooses to behave in a way that they dislike. He had ample opportunity to do as he was asked and be part of the photo. He chose not to and for once there was a consequence. And you have learned that other people don’t always find this kind of thing endearing. The problem with allowing poor behaviour is that whilst you may be willing to tolerate it, others are not obliged to and eventually there will be consequences.

Exactly. Why doesn't he do what he's told?

Stop the silly excuses. He's 10, not 2.

I would have thrown him out too.

Your sister gave him an option to stop being a pain for about 30 seconds to have a picture taken or there would be a consequence and she followed through. Maybe if you had more consequences for his behaviour he wouldn’t be behaving like this at ten years old.

Is he ‘pulling a face’ or does he just not know how to smile for the camera? If the first then YABU, if the latter then not.

Most photos of my daughter as a young child have her with a very strange gurn. It used to drive me mad. Looking back I can see that she just didn’t know how to position her face as a smile. Still doesn’t. She smiles, of course, but can’t do it on demand. Is there a chance he thinks whatever it is he’s doing is a smile? In which case maybe you can help him, or find a ‘cheese’ word that works for him.

But if he’s just pissing about to show off then forget all that and tell him that he was warned and will just have to deal with the consequences. As will you.

Yabu. You're son is annoying, people may laugh at first but it gets tedious quick. I'd want a nice phone of my GC on my wall not one of him pulling faces

Good for your sister no wonder she got annoyed. You might think it's funny and laugh but it really isn't when someone's kid is annoying and won't stop.
As a mother you should have been the first to pull him from the group, standing there laughing at him hasn't helped and you've probably annoyed your sister too.

I am with you Op. It is just one of his quirks isn't it, we all have them. It actually makes me smile, if he were related to me I would always be looking for him in photos to see what face he did this time.

People can be very precious - spoiling photos, get a grip. He sounds like a character, let him be himself is my view.

This has to be a reverse. Sorry but he needs to grow up. This laughing at his silly faces are doing him no favours. His aunt gave a choice, told him the consequences and followed through and well done her. Your mother wants a photo of all her grandchildren and not one with your sons stupid antics spoiling it for all.

Does he pull stupid faces in school group photos or his passport photo. Sorry but you need to start have a serious conversation about what is appropriate behaviour if he wants to be in people's photos.

Good luck getting a passport for him.