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AIBU?

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Original poster

To put dirty knickers in my own laundry basket?

138 replies

Megapops · 18/08/2022 13:36

I've lived in houseshares for many years and always had my own laundry basket in my room. I've been living with DP for 4 years now, we have a great relationship, can talk about anything, and share everything BUT I prefer to put my used/worn underwear in my own little laundry basket I have for them. Sometimes I have period leaks or discharge and I dont want anyone seeing that/dealing with that. (Yes, it happens, I'm not embarrassed of my period but I'm quite a private person in general). I don't like using liners every day because it's bad for the environment.

Anyway, DP thinks this is weird and funny, and always jokes about my 'stash of underwear' I keep in their own basket! Is this really that weird? Does everyone else just put your worn underwear in the family/shared washing basket?

OP posts:
djdkdkddkek · 18/08/2022 16:04

yeah I don’t share my underwear
I find it quite private

BeachBonfiresAndGuitars · 18/08/2022 16:04

Herbert.

Jellytottss · 18/08/2022 16:08

I wouldn't use the term weird that's a bit far.... but the posters shouting down its weird of OPS DH WELL.... perhaps that's what OPS DH thinks.... you know they are intimate after all. Mainly women do the washing anyway!

But it's upto OP... whatever makes her feel comfortable.

GonnaeNoDaeThat89 · 18/08/2022 16:09

We don't even have a washing basket...everything gets put straight in the washing machine.

UnicornsDoExist · 18/08/2022 16:11

I keep mine separate fr dh but he showers in a different bathroom to me. I have two in our en-suite, one for underwear and socks and the rest for clothes

Jellytottss · 18/08/2022 16:12

Gwenhwyfar · 18/08/2022 15:12

"But if you go on to have daughters I think it's important to set them an example that their natural bodies are nothing to be ashamed of."

I think that it's important to teach them that they can have privacy if they want it.

Agree with both comments. It's important it's not seen as mum was hiding though. Because it is quite a normal thing to put worn items in your laundry basket in your own bloody house.

WonderingWanda · 18/08/2022 16:17

Everyone has different boundaries and things they feel comfortable with. All our laundry goes in together but I refuse to allow dh into the ensuite if I'm having a bowel movement and I know some couples are ok with that. I don't mind him popping in if I'm in the shower and some people will mind that. I think it's fine for you to do what you do and I wouldn't pay too much attention to your dh's teasing. It's probably a clumsy way of letting you know you don't need to do it for his benefit.

FinallyHere · 18/08/2022 16:24

Own laundry baskets in our household.

We are not weirdos

Whippetquick · 18/08/2022 16:30

Some people sell soiled underwear and make loads of money out of it....what's that all about ?

Marvellousmadness · 18/08/2022 16:31

Not a good sign for your relationship op

Pixiedust1234 · 18/08/2022 16:45

All in one basket. Any with leaks or discharge like yours goes straight into a soaking bucket rather than the basket.

Hankunamatata · 18/08/2022 16:48

I have washing bag in all rooms plus bathroom. Myself and dh use one in bedroom.
I have a lidded container in bathroom for soaking. Usually just buy black underwear these days.

Wheresmymoneytree · 18/08/2022 16:49

I keep them separate if my period has leaked on them, not because I’m embarrassed but because I want to soak them so they aren’t ruined but DP would throw them in the washer

mogtheexcellent · 18/08/2022 16:53

we each have our own laundry basket. Im in charge of doing mine and DDs, DH is his and household.

I dont think its weird.

Original poster
Megapops · 18/08/2022 17:02

MsFannySqueers · 18/08/2022 14:55

I think you are entitled to have your own laundry bin for whatever you want to put in it. I don’t think your husband should comment on it. I think what’s weird is that he even noticed you do this. Let alone keep harping on about it. He would have had some dirty washing dumped on his head by now if it was me! I remember reading a letter in the problem page of the Lady magazine years ago (in a doctors waiting room). It was from an elderly lady who liked to wear very worn out but comfortable walking knickers. She was worried that if she died suddenly a relative may come in and find the worn out knickers. What would they think of her? She was advised by the Lady magazine to buy a nice Habitat waste paper bin for her bedroom and to store the knickers in that. Then if she were to snuff it anyone going through her things would think she had thrown the knickers away.

Haha love this. Every time I put on an old pair of knickers that are really comfortable, I think; this is bound to be the day I'm going to die isn't it? (I'm coming to the conclusion I've got some serious underwear anxiety!)

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 18/08/2022 17:06

I think you are not being unreasonable but a little strange.

Gentleness · 18/08/2022 17:08

Seems sensible to me, for a range of practical reasons. I keep my washable pads separate simply because you can't use fabric conditioner with them. I keep my things that must be washed at 30 or a gentle wash separate. We have a family basket for pants and socks and everybody puts everything else in there and I wash it all at 40.

But there really doesn't have to be a "sensible" reason - if you like to keep your pants separate because you prefer the privacy, go for it! Nobody gets to tell you the right way to feel about your own knickers.

NippyWoowoo · 18/08/2022 19:46

Summergirl5 · 18/08/2022 15:18

I do the same ,after my dh told my knickers looked dirty after a wash ..discharge stain…made me paranoid after that ,slightest hint of a stain and I throw them out now ..he was obviously disgusted by them ..never let him near them now

Confused
LisaD1 · 18/08/2022 19:50

AlL washing goes on the same basket,
I’m the only one who does the washing anyway.

Shinyandnew1 · 18/08/2022 19:53

Everything goes in the one laundry basket here. If there was any wet/dirty knickers-I’d probably take them downstairs with me and shove them in the sink to soak.

Blossomtoes · 18/08/2022 19:58

Marvellousmadness · 18/08/2022 16:31

Not a good sign for your relationship op

It’s fine. We’ve been married for 22 years without him seeing my dirty knickers. Everything doesn’t have to be shared.

Toosadtocomprehend · 18/08/2022 20:02

brookstar · 18/08/2022 14:31

We have our own washing baskets and ( much MN disgust) we do our own washing!

Same here !!

SirenSays · 18/08/2022 20:21

All in here, I could care less about DH seeing my underwear.
Growing up I would have loved this, I was so embarrassed about things like period stains.

NippyWoowoo · 18/08/2022 20:22

Ketanne · 18/08/2022 15:53

Yes, let me discuss my underwear with you! Or is it specifically soiled underwear you're after?

🤦‍♀️

Quite a few seem more than willing to

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/08/2022 20:59

Yes all in same washing basket

a bit strange you don’t want dh to see /handle /wash them as in a relationship and a leakage is perfectly normal and natural and not something to be embarrassed about