To put dirty knickers in my own laundry basket?

[Megapops]

I've lived in houseshares for many years and always had my own laundry basket in my room. I've been living with DP for 4 years now, we have a great relationship, can talk about anything, and share everything BUT I prefer to put my used/worn underwear in my own little laundry basket I have for them. Sometimes I have period leaks or discharge and I dont want anyone seeing that/dealing with that. (Yes, it happens, I'm not embarrassed of my period but I'm quite a private person in general). I don't like using liners every day because it's bad for the environment.

Anyway, DP thinks this is weird and funny, and always jokes about my 'stash of underwear' I keep in their own basket! Is this really that weird? Does everyone else just put your worn underwear in the family/shared washing basket?

How bad are they? In our house anything wet or soiled goes straight in the washing machine so it doesn't hang about going crusty in a basket. I usually check if there's anything else that can go in with it such a door mats etc if it needs a hotter wash. YABU if it's just normal used undies though. He's an arse for making you feel self conscious about it.

Sometimes I have period leaks or discharge and I don't want anyone seeing that/dealing with that. (Yes, it happens, I'm not embarrassed of my period but I'm quite a private person in general).
Surely you'd deal with this each day..? I wouldn't leave anything I'd leaked on (quick rinse in cold water and chuck a wash on)

I’d say it’s unusual to have your own private underpants laundry basket but definitely not weird! And your boyfriend teasing you about it is a bit silly but honestly if my DH had his own private pants laundry basket I might tease him too. It all sounds a bit of a non event so I’m hoping you’re not getting upset about it, OP

It's not weird at all, I am the same. I'd hate for my partner to have to root through my period/dischargey knickers. No thanks! I'd like to keep some mystery alive! Maybe the people who find it weird are women who do all the laundry and their husband never does any? That, to me, is weirder 🤷‍♀️

I think you are entitled to have your own laundry basket for your underwear if that's what you prefer. Just because you live with someone doesn't mean you give up your right to privacy over dirty underwear or bodily functions. I would just tell your DP to get over it and stop going on about it as the joke got old about three and a half years ago.

What a strange thing to discuss on a forum, its almost as if you want to hear similar stories of soiled pants.

I understand if you are still living in a house share, but if you are living with your partner & not in a house share, then it is a bit weird.

It's just washing.

I think it's fine to do what you are doing if that is what makes you comfortable. I think especially so now that your DP is making a big deal out of it. I always had a my own washing basket in my dressing room, and DH had one in the ensuite which only he used. Kids had one in their bathroom. Worked fine for us, the main point is that the washing end up in a basket, so we made it as easy as possible to access one.

Now I live on my own and with one kid part-time, and only have the one basket.

It’s slightly unusual but who cares? Tell him you only want them in a delicate wash if it makes you feel better.

Going on about it is not ok though. Be sharp with him and make sure that stops.

I'm not sure many people are into communal pooping tbf.

What the Fuck!

I agree, up to you to do what you want.

i voted yabu, because it’s not something I do or happens in our house. But you’re entitled to feel how you feel about this. My comfort levels aren’t yours or anyone else’s, so if that’s how you prefer to do things yanbu. Dh should butt out and stop taking the piss

I don't do it but I don't think it's very weird either

I find it weird to have a separate knicker basket because DP and I have our own personal laundry baskets. Which makes sense as we each do our own laundry. No-one has to handle my dirty kecks so no issue there. Although I have no shame and once a month openly soak my bloody reusable sanpro in a bucket. Men shouldn’t be protected from natural things! It’s not unclean.

There’s also one for towels/sheets/bathmats (on a hotwash).

The other washing stuff (cleaning cloths etc) has a more complex set up which I won’t go into here.

I think it's unusual but if it makes you comfortable who cares

This.

I find his commenting weird, not your choices.

Family basket. No problem because I do the laundry.

Just have a separate one for tea towels, cloths etc as they're often damp

We used to have separate hampers, but we don't have the room now so about 2 years ago we started sharing

I think it's fine for now if that's what makes you comfortable (although worth internally interrogating that discomfort I think). But if you go on to have daughters I think it's important to set them an example that their natural bodies are nothing to be ashamed of. And yes it seems odd to me that you can have sex with the man but not let him see your discharge... also do you really do a separate wash just for your pants? Surely if it's the environment you're worried about you'd only wash a full load at a time?

I guess it depends. If I had lots of fancy knickers that had specific washing requirements (silk, lace etc) then I probably wouldn’t want anyone sorting through them or hand washing them. But I have regular boring cotton undies so DH regularly chucks them in the wash with everything else. I can’t say it’s something I’ve ever given a moment’s thought to.

I don’t think it’s weird for you to have different feelings about it though and you are entitled to privacy in a relationship. If he’s getting on your nerves with the jokes, just tell him that. If you can’t just say “you’re pissing me off with these comments. Can you pack it in?” and him reply “sorry, yeah of course I can” then the issue is communication and respect, not your desire for privacy in this specific circumstance.

This.

I like doing laundry. Find it quite satisfying. And I'm more careful

DH and I have our own laundry baskets and each do our own laundry. So not weird to me.