To want to take son to A&E because I literally can’t get any help from anywhere?!

[Mamatoautisticson]

The title may seem drastic but I am literally at my wits end!

I have an 8 year old autistic child with ADHD who is aggressive and self-harms (head banging, hitting etc).

I have tried everywhere to get help - GP who referred to paediatrician, paediatrician who have got a huge backlog and even with an urgent referral you still have to wait months and months, CAMHS who can’t see him for a matter of weeks either.

He is literally getting worse to the point where every single day it’s a constant thing - hitting themselves, throwing themselves on the floor, throwing things at other people to injure them, aggressive and destructive all day long!

We live near a paediatric A&E who have a specialist unit 24/7 assessment type thing and I’m wondering whether this will help us get any help sooner?!

I literally feel like packing up his bag and sitting down there until someone either medicates him so I can cope with him until other interventions can be put in place or this can help him be seen sooner by other agencies?!

There is nothing that a&e can do. This is neither an accident or an emergency.

There'll be a long thread of people telling you you can't, but yes, do it. It's not your fault you can't get him the help he needs.

I work with young people with MH difficulties, we often call an ambulance for a child in crisis, as the only way to get them any help.

A paediatrician could see him whilst he is in there and possibly prescribe a medication that will help? @Pinkflipflop85 and I would say a child constantly self-harming is a pretty dire thing don’t you?

What will going to a&e achieve op? Are they not just going to tell you to wait for a referral or to see your GP?
Totally get the frustration but you can't force them to help. Are there any charities you can contact or any palliative care options you could have use of?

In your situation I’d give it a go OP as you don’t have much to lose. He’s in a situation where he’s hurting himself daily (and those around him), something urgent needs to be done.

@PowerPack honestly it’s been awful, I’ve rang all the agencies and explained how bad it is and that they are self-harming all day long and none of them want to know - they say just wait until the appointment - I’ve never felt so helpless and desperate

My sister was the same. I took her to A&E a few times because my parents had disappeared and I couldn’t keep her safe. Even when she was in the midst of a meltdown and was banging her head and lashing out, they wouldn’t help.

I can absolutely understand why you want to go and I wouldn’t blame you for trying it, but I’d expect that they’d turn you away. I hope that things are better and they won’t, but let’s be honest, everything seems to have got worse and not better

When I was a teenager, A&E was where I was treated for constant self harm and they admitted into a psych unit for instant assessment and treatment.

Worth a go OP (p.s. I also have ADHD)

I can pm you the details of a private paediatrician who can help you if you can afford the fee? You then move to NHS with a special letter he gives you so you don’t have to keep on paying privately.

I was told by CAMHS if a meltdown occurred with rush of harm to self or others to call an ambulance. I must admit I'm not 100% sure this wasn't because I was raising that nothing was helping out being put in place and the suggestion to call police seemed flipping redicolous and would only serve to escalate.

At this stage you have nothing to loose and actually a child self harming and you unable to prevent might well be an emergency. I'm not sure you should get your hopes up about walking out with a resolution but it might help move things along.

I would say go and tell them you actually can't care for him any more and aren't able to keep him safe and cannot for this reason take him home. This should trigger a referral to social care who can put things in place to support you to look after him and escalate if necessary. He will likely also be assessed by the camhs self harm team and potentially paeds doctor. Just what I would expect to happen when I was working in one of those roles. Expect a long wait in a&e but you're waiting a long time for help anyway. Sorry you are going through this OP.

I assume poster who mentioned palliative care meant respite?

If you call the police, they will tell you to call an ambulance in that situation..

Just go. You must be on your knees. A friend of mine had similar, not the self harming part, but child on parent violence and destruction of property. She was broken by it.

My autistic daughter used to self harm and cry that she wanted to die.
We were recommended when she got like that to take her to A+E. Even if they couldn't do anything it meant for a few hours she was in a safe place.
It actually did help us get CAHMS help quicker.
Take him if he is hurting himself.
💐

I'd go, op. You've nothing to lose and it might be of some help, however temporary.

If you can’t keep DS safe yes take him to A&E.

We took our son when he had self harmed (7years old). There was nothing they would do and just sent him home.

I would contact the duty social care team in your area and tell them you are at your wit’s end and need help today. They are often able to access immediate care and support.

Call social services children with disabilities team
Say you cannot cope he needs urgent respite care
Mayve there is NAs or ABA service which does respite with trained staff?
Do you get respite?

Not necessarily, some areas now have a joint response team with police and a mental health nurse or specialist paramedic. Or sometimes the police will attend a crisis along with an ambulance.

What does his school advise?

If your child is self harming and you can not prevent it then this is an emergancy.

You’ve got nothing to lose, just go. If you’re unable to to keep him from harming himself, they should raise this as a safeguarding issue, and refer to social services. I so hope you can both get the help you need, it’s soul-destroying to feel so helpless.🤞🏻

@justsayso whilst that is good advice, you do run the risk of an over zealous social worker getting an interim court order and removing the child from his home which is what happened to my friend. Ambulance called by social workers who witnessed the violence, 24 hours for psych observation in hospital, 2 days with a foster carer and then dumped in a children's home 100 miles away. He was 7 years old. Brutal. And in no way was what my friend wanted. She just wanted targeted support and respite. Took her almost 3 years to get her parental rights reinstated.