To want to take son to A&E because I literally can’t get any help from anywhere?!

[Mamatoautisticson]

The title may seem drastic but I am literally at my wits end!

I have an 8 year old autistic child with ADHD who is aggressive and self-harms (head banging, hitting etc).

I have tried everywhere to get help - GP who referred to paediatrician, paediatrician who have got a huge backlog and even with an urgent referral you still have to wait months and months, CAMHS who can’t see him for a matter of weeks either.

He is literally getting worse to the point where every single day it’s a constant thing - hitting themselves, throwing themselves on the floor, throwing things at other people to injure them, aggressive and destructive all day long!

We live near a paediatric A&E who have a specialist unit 24/7 assessment type thing and I’m wondering whether this will help us get any help sooner?!

I literally feel like packing up his bag and sitting down there until someone either medicates him so I can cope with him until other interventions can be put in place or this can help him be seen sooner by other agencies?!

Initially you may be able to get help virtually

I'm sorry that sounds really difficult OP but I don't think A&E will do anything.

It is not an emergency in the medical sense so you will wait hours for them to check him over medically, declare him fit for discharge home and tell you to go back to GP.
I suppose it's whether you want to put yourself through that.

The suggestions of carers centre or soc services are the best option. Tell them you can no longer cope

You can probably see the same professionals you're waiting for sooner, if you go privately.

Mental health difficulties of this type can certainly be an emergency.

sorry to hear how tough things are you for you @Mamatoautisticson I took my daughter into our equivalent of children's A&E (not in UK) when she was self harming recently as I was worried she had broken her finger and mentioned to the doctor why it had happened and she offered to write a letter to support DD in accessing CAHMS. I think you should definitely go in.

It's not an immediate answer, but has there been a care assessment and is a care plan in place? You may be entitled to respite care, and it may also be that if respite carers add their voice to yours in terms of the dangers involved in the current situation that things move a bit more quickly.

I assume your son has an EHCP? Is it worth pushing for a residential placement?

Yes take him to A+E. Its not necessarily the most appropriate place but if you are not able to prevent self harm for occurring and are unable to cope then it is an emergency and he needs assessment from CAMHS today and not in months. Children in crisis are being failed and this unfortunately seems to be the only way to get anyone to listen.

If you have a referral you can take that to a private consultant for the assessment and recommendations.

I went with The Priory in the end as it has a fantastic consultant near me but you need to do a bit of research. The assessment cost about 750, following ups (now every 6 months) are 120. You'll be paying private prescription charges for a little bit (make sure it's working right etc) until they hand back over to your GP.

My DD13 has ADHD and is ASD. The medication has helped her ADHD enormously.

In the meantime I would also be tempted to go to A&E. he is hurting himself so I'd see that as an emergency.

I agree with going in, sounds like you're at the end of your tether and have nothing to lose. I imagine that you're somehow coping day to day and I would encourage you to ring in to whichever service you've been referred when he hurts himself or others even if it's daily so that the situaiton is fully understood. We can't help low staff numbers.

Do it, it sounds like an emergency to me. My DH was referred urgently due to MH and was put under a crisis team who saw him the following day. I know this is different but there must be something for MH emergencies.

ASD is not mental health problem.

The self harm in a ASD context is different than self harm due to MH.

Also what region are you in? Maybe one of us are able to make private consultation recommendations.

Paediatric A and E may not be nearly as under stress as A and E generally is - though don’t quote me on that. I know our local hospital’s children’s assessment unit was practically empty for most of the pandemic.
Its worth a try OP as it’s a crisis.
Respire and carer’s assessments take time - a long time and which do not address the self harm.
I’ve asked for a carer’s assessment and SS support over the past five years and have got absolutely nothing from them because apparently school is sufficient for our needs.
Deal with the immediate situation first - and a GP is not going to be the one solving it, even though they can do a referral.
Id also ring the GP and request an urgent call back..

Yes and while this is correct, it's clearly not being managed and is putting the child in danger.

Do it. People without SEN kids will not understand but it is and can become an emergency very quickly if your DS is not seen by a health care professional. If this is your only option , take it.

ASD is not a mental health problem BUT it is quite possible that there are co-morbid mental health problems

Does your CAMHS have a crisis unit, if so have you contacted them directly? If not I would go to A&E for urgent support, which is what I did when faced with a similar situation a couple of years ago. It worked.

I was actually advised by CAMHS to do this if matters got worse.

Children sadly do die waiting to be seen. If you can't keep your child safe then it absolutely is an emergency.

I would take him to A&E. Mental health crises absolutely count as an emergency. When a family member was very ill with a mental health problem, we were advised that taking them to A&E would be the quickest way to get treatment (and they were assessed and then admitted).

That’s for social services & local authority to deal with. They’ve got a child in need of appropriate assessment, treatment and possibly accommodation.

I understand the OP is in desperation, however, unless it’s a medical accident or medical emergency, the doctors at the A&E cannot really help him.

That’s for social services & local authority to deal with. They’ve got a child in need of appropriate assessment, treatment and possibly accommodation.

I understand the OP is in desperation, however, unless it’s a medical accident or medical emergency, the doctors at the A&E cannot help him.

Bollocks.

It is an emergency as OPs mental (and possibly physical) health are at real risk...who will care for her DC when she can't??

@Mamatoautisticson Take him. The system is failing/has failed you. You deserve treatment for you not necessarily for him.

I remember reading in the media one mother was so desperate she went to a and e then walked out of the hospital to bring things to a head.

ASD is not mental health problem.
The self harm in a ASD context is different than self harm due to MH.

For the person with ASD, maybe not...but what about the MH of the person caring for them?? Did you give any consideration to them?
Are they invisible? Do they deserve not treatment or help?

@Mamatoautisticson I just want to send you a hug. Over the 20 years I worked for a care provider I saw services decreased.

@Pinkflipflop85 I hope they do. OP needs help urgently to manage her ds' behaviour and its causing her an enormous mental strain

My Dad did something v similar in the 80s when my mum was having a MH crisis due to looking after her doubly incontinent, but only in our house Mother.

Sometimes, you just have to walk away. 💐