To want to take son to A&E because I literally can’t get any help from anywhere?!

[Mamatoautisticson]

The title may seem drastic but I am literally at my wits end!

I have an 8 year old autistic child with ADHD who is aggressive and self-harms (head banging, hitting etc).

I have tried everywhere to get help - GP who referred to paediatrician, paediatrician who have got a huge backlog and even with an urgent referral you still have to wait months and months, CAMHS who can’t see him for a matter of weeks either.

He is literally getting worse to the point where every single day it’s a constant thing - hitting themselves, throwing themselves on the floor, throwing things at other people to injure them, aggressive and destructive all day long!

We live near a paediatric A&E who have a specialist unit 24/7 assessment type thing and I’m wondering whether this will help us get any help sooner?!

I literally feel like packing up his bag and sitting down there until someone either medicates him so I can cope with him until other interventions can be put in place or this can help him be seen sooner by other agencies?!

Oh OP, you sound absolutely desperate. Just go and hopefully somebody will help you.

If he is a danger to himself and others you can absolutely take him to A&E. They have an on call CAMHS team that will come to assess just be warned you are in for a wait.

Agree with this.

I also had a parent in a similar situation to you through my line of work and she just consistently phoned CAMHs updating them and put the question to them: if they can't help with his mental health at crisis point as the MH team, please could they tell them who could? This mum got help that way, however her next route was to go to A&E and say it was an emergency that she was struggling to safeguard her child's mental health.

Thoughts are with you OP. This sounds so tough ☹️

And then you have to sit i A and E for10 hours. Only to be told that they cant help you

If there is any way you could afford to go private, do so. 10 days from first call, diagnosis and medication which has changed his life. 20 now and at Uni.

Then a and e say that fangs deal with under 18s and say go back to them.....

Has he got anything in place @Mamatoautisticson medication wise? I used to work in residential care looking after children like your son - they’d be on daily medication plus PRN if the behaviours escalated .

There’s many ways in which you can support children with LD who self harm through meds, I’m surprised you haven’t got an appropriate plan in place.

Can you go to Urgent Care?

When I was there with my son recently a friend came in with her teenage daughter who was threatening self harm and she was seen right away.

Camhs not fangs although they are emotional vampires.....

You've nothing to lose OP. If he has ADHD, Elvanse might be helpful for him (I take it myself and it curbs my impulsive, harmful behaviour). I know a psychiatrist can only prescribed it for adults, but I don't know if this is the case with children and a paediatrician could do it.

You should document each meltdown and report it to CAMHS so there’s a trace of frequency and intensity of his outbursts.

I really don’t know what A&E can do - restrain him? Sedate him?

Have his injuries required medical attention? That might be the quickest way, if a dr/nurse is seeing for themselves.
It sounds exhausting, like you are at your wits end, I hope you are able to access help for him, and some support for you as well.

Can you call the crisis team ?
Ignore posters saying don't go to A&E. They clearly don't know what it's like to have a SEN child who self harms.
You need help and the lists, waiting for appointment etc is ridiculous. Our children are being failed.
You need help. You are doing what is best for your child

I know exactly what SEN child’s meltdown can be like.

And I wouldn’t like to wait at the A&e for 12 hrs with a child in crisis.

I was going to say don't. But you have nothing to lose by trying. It does seem you have tried to get help elsewhere. But scarey story about removal of parental rights. From Relativepitch. No wonder people are wary of getting SS involved.

What other options are there ?

It will entirely depend on capacity at local hospital. They should have a duty MH assessment team but unfortunately with a responsible adult in attendance you will be far far down the priority list. I say this as a parent who has been through this process this year.

We did ultimately get a fast track CAHMS assessment online but they were unable to offer anything useful. I ended up paying privately is this avenue open to you?

Was this for adhd

A and E visit hung on concern about the most recent physical self-inflicted injury with a frank conversation with the medic. Might need to present the symptoms aggressively if they have GP/primary care triage. If flung on floor then hit head and mentioned headache or hurt leg and limping, for example.

Was this for adhd

Take him to A&E. If he is self harming then there is a threat to life.

Are you registered with your local carers centre? Ring them today if not. Outline your desperation as here. You need a carers assessment to make sure all your needs are met. Your son would benefit from a disability social workers assessment too to make sure he's got everything he's entitled to.
Is he at school? Are school aware of what is going on? They can help highlight to all other agencies that the need is there.

Is there anything obvious triggering the meltdowns? Write down EVERYTHING and see if there is a pattern.
Has your son had recent dental and doc check ups to rule out anything underlying

Autistic parent of an autistic child self harming similarly.

Call social care and say you cannot keep him or yourself / others safe and that his behaviour is a safeguarding issue?

Voluntary arrangement under the Section 20, on the basis of not being able to provide suitable care and accommodation.

Thank you for all the responses - I would definitely be open to going private but where we live there isn’t any I don’t think? We live out in the sticks