To want to take son to A&E because I literally can’t get any help from anywhere?!

[Mamatoautisticson]

The title may seem drastic but I am literally at my wits end!

I have an 8 year old autistic child with ADHD who is aggressive and self-harms (head banging, hitting etc).

I have tried everywhere to get help - GP who referred to paediatrician, paediatrician who have got a huge backlog and even with an urgent referral you still have to wait months and months, CAMHS who can’t see him for a matter of weeks either.

He is literally getting worse to the point where every single day it’s a constant thing - hitting themselves, throwing themselves on the floor, throwing things at other people to injure them, aggressive and destructive all day long!

We live near a paediatric A&E who have a specialist unit 24/7 assessment type thing and I’m wondering whether this will help us get any help sooner?!

I literally feel like packing up his bag and sitting down there until someone either medicates him so I can cope with him until other interventions can be put in place or this can help him be seen sooner by other agencies?!

Have not rat but have you tried MASH? Phone them and say your on the cusp of being done and you absolutely can no longer keep them safe. They to record your call as a safeguarding welfare concern. Might not do much today but you ring repeatedly and then complain these calls are logged. Been there, done it myself. Threatened with a CP case at first but I told them to come and dc would be waiting with bags packed, just do it, don’t threaten me, come and take all of them. Then complained to the chief director of childrens services the next day. We got emergency respite then CWD SW.

its shit. The system is broken

I can’t advise on A&E because I don’t have any experience but a couple of years ago I reached absolute breaking point with my dd (aged 9 then).
I had to demand to speak to her paediatrician and tell the stuck up receptionist that I was close to doing something I might regret, she did call me back within a few hours to be fair and sent me a prescription for Risperidone We had already been considering the meds route but it was sped up.

I then self referred to social services disability team and we had an assessment of needs. I now receive direct payments so get a break as she has an excellent PA now.
Paediatrician referred us to CAMHS who sounded really helpful to start with but it’s pretty much diminished to nothing.

Our life is far from perfect now but it’s much better than it was. The meds take the edge off her aggression and give me time to reason/negotiate and explain things to her. Not all the time but it’s better than what it was.

I wish I lived nearby and could help you, I really do.

Mamatoautisticson are you in England? If so private message me and i will direct you to where you can seek support. I work for the national LDA programme and can direct you to the correct commissioners who should be able to provide support

I really feel for you and have witnessed parents in exactly this situation.

However, ED/A&E is not a great environment for children with this issue - it's noisy, brightly lit and very busy. Waits are likely to be very very long.

It varies by ED, but most children will be assessed by the ED team after triage - so not usually a paediatrician. The wait for this may be several hours with your child and yourself struggling in the environment.

It might be possible for direct referral to CAHMS or for triage to directly refer to CAHMS - if so, then you will wait for them to be available - again it may be a long wait.

A paediatrician is unlikely to medicate because this would need the child to be admitted to assess it's effects, especially if you're looking for sedative medicine.

CAHMS can prescribe, but may not.

I have seen a horrendous situation where the child was unable to cope in the ED, attacked family and staff and damaged equipment and was restrained for a very long time whilst Paediatricians refused to treat them as they considered them a danger to other children on the ward and the child had to wait for CAHMS to be available. The family member who had also been attacked was very close to being admitted themselves due to their distress.

I wish it was easier, there were more options available.

If you have anyone who can give you respite or any community team that can help you, I would access those.

But ultimately, ED is there for you if it gets to that point.

I would do this as well. It's hard but it's honest. Refuse to take him home. Tell them you will relinquish custody if that's what it takes, because you can't keep him safe and you are absolutely on your knees because you have received zero help to date. Trigger emergency support from elsewhere.

Surely if he's self harming then A&E is the place to go?

If it’s a specialist paeds ED the wait won’t be as long as some posters saying. They won’t be able to start treatment or anything today but hopefully they could put in some urgent referrals and put pressure on the agencies you’re waiting for. I know I’d much rather see you than another drunk or stubbed toe.

If you've exhausted all other options and are at breaking point you need to go to ED.

How bad is the self harm? Does he have physical injuries? Generally a&e is for if there’s an injury that needs treating or a risk to his life, they will only admit him if medically necessary. If camhs have already assessed and put on the waiting list (and if it’s only a few weeks wait they probably have made it fairly urgent) it’s unlikely it will bring his appointment forward unless something more serious happens. Sorry I know it must be really frustrating, have you had a carers assessment?

yes do it and good luck x

How did he fare in the children's home, out of interest?

The system seems to be different in different places so it seems worth a try. My friend was given lots of conflicting advice. Eventually, she took her DC to A&E when they were self-harming. They were evaluated at A&E and then sent direct to a specialist unit for a psych evaluation. They weren't admitted but they were seen again by their GP within days and it did seem to speed up the process of accessing help.
it sounds tough.

They will send you away

I would do this, its what they're there for. As others have said, his aggression and self harm is neither an accident or an emergency. What medication were you hoping to get?

Not to make you worry but is he in pain? Like his teeth?

Surely self harm counts as an emergency? I'd absolutely take them.

Go. You've tried the 'regular' ways in vain. Nobody can expect you to put up with this failure to provide adequate help b/o some abstract notion of 'not overusing a+e'. It's not your fault that the powers that be have created a system that works after the motto 'the squeaky wheel gets the oil'.

It sounds tough. Here's hoping you finally get help.

Which area are you in? You might have something similar to this. Or maybe call the number under locations and see if there is one close to you.
www.leicspart.nhs.uk/service/child-and-adolescent-mental-health-services-camhs-crisis-and-home-treatment-team/

I’d say a ‘self harming’ child is most definitely an emergency. Take him to A&E Op, hope you get some help.

Private adhd assessment for adhd. One if mine was diagnosed and started meds within a month.

Also check out the incredible Years programme

Go to A&E.

He will be seen by a psychiatrist. They may be able to prescribe there, and they may be able to get you up the CAMHS waiting list.

My daughter was self harming and having extreme episodes as a result of undiagnosed autism. She’d been on the waiting list for about 7 months and was getting progressively worse. I rang the CAMHS crisis line during a particularly bad episode and they advised me to go to A&E. The psych we saw made sure we did not leave without a CAMHS appointment for a couple of days later, and gave us some medication to calm her.

We are still waiting for NHS therapy 6 months later, but her mental health is no longer worsening, and the episodes have become fewer and more manageable.

I was recently in a (Specialised childrens) a and e. There was an autistic child brought in by the mother for exactly the reason you are describing - as a way to fast track her way into the system/ cahms. It seemed to work as the staff were very sympathetic and the child stayed overnight and by the time we were leaving were arranging for a social worker.

Forgot to say that they respond within two hours and will visit you at home if you need them to.

First of all you must be going through hell, I hope you can get the help you need. It’s so hard not being able to help your autistic child, I don’t have one but Ive worked with autistic children and I know how exhausting and demanding it can be.

To the reply’s only advising ‘don’t attend A&E’ and nothing more I hope you never find yourself in this situation.

Whatever you decide to do, you need to be mentally strong to cope with the pushback. It is brutal trying to advocate for a SN child in crisis.

Sending you hugs and solidarity

I haven’t read all the replies but a peds doctor will not be able to prescribe anything longer term. They would be asking camhs to assess and medicate. Which camhs will need to do in the community as a ward environment wouldn’t be appropriate.

You can contact your disabled childrens social care team and ask for a single assessment if you need respite etc.

a&e should only be when it’s an emergency situation if you feel you can’t keep him safe etc then would be referring you into social care.