To speak to my neighbours about their shrieking children?

[Capricorn8990]

Now I don’t mind hearing children laugh, play and shout but I am really struggling with my neighbours children squealing and shrieking. I can’t even sit in my garden at the moment. My neighbour has her friend over most days who also has 2 children and they all squeal and shriek. This can go on for hours..

Neither adults ask them to be quiet and it’s really making me miserable cos we can’t even sit outside.

AIBU to speak to my neighbour about this? We get on well but not sure how I would approach it.

I’m with you op. I don’t mind noise or kids playing but the 2 next door must scream constantly. I’ve never heard anything like it. They are often unsupervised. We aren’t quiet and my children have been younger and very nosy but this is relentless. You can’t hear yourself think and can’t sit and have a nice chat as a family. I’m wondering how to approach it too as don’t want to fall out. We get in really well usually.

Totally get it OP.
Neighbours kids are an absolute nightmare. Even when I pull up to my driveway, I can hear them shrieking.
They shout at the top of their lungs even when right next to each other, shriek constantly, always crying loudly when they fall out with one another or don't get their own way. The parents either go indoors or just sit and watch them, it is infuriating and makes my blood boil as it's such selfish behaviour. Another reason why I hate summer. They are in the garden acting this way throughout the whole season. 🙄

Well I have screamers / shriekers (possible SEN at play) and I don't know really what I can do about it...? If it gets very shrieky or screamy or just too shouty I tell them to come in the house. They don't and I have to manhandle them in. They don't learn to control their impulses and it happens 90% of the time they go in the garden. It's fucking exhausting and all the parents who simply "don't allow" their children to scream or shriek can suck it. It's not that straightforward for many parents.

Totally sympathise. My own kids high pitched screaming they are bought inside as it drives me batty. Next door two young kids don't play outside till 8pm every day then it's full on screaming and shrieking but it's ok as it's summer holidays 🤔😬

Sympathise completely. We've got the added bonus of the parents egging theirs on to be loud. I get the impression they think it makes them seem confident while actually it just makes them appear precocious.
I wouldn't bother speaking to them. They will be totally oblivious and entitled and the only thing that will change is that you will have a difficult relationship with your ndn.

It's often possible to identify the triggers of difficult behaviour and work with a child to meet their needs and develop the skills to behave appropriately.

I sympathise OP, I've had kids on one side scream every time they were in the garden or went in and out of the house. Other neighbours who had screaming competitions to see who can be loudest, and these were mid teens. Horribly selfish behaviour from parents. I can't wear ear defenders.

Screaming competitions 🙄. How do you resist not getting a super soaker and drenching the horrors.

If you had of asked this 2 weeks ago I would have told you to jog on and you're being ridiculous BUT a neighbours kids were outside on the trampoline a few days ago and they were really noisy shrieking. I'd never heard them like that before and I really went thru me. I was also sitting indoors at the time. It was so uncomfortable. I have my own kids and LOTS of visiting kids and I would tell them off for noise anywhere near that. Not that I ever have to of course thankfully.

My parents have lived in the same house for 53 years with families either side and never, until now has there been an issue with screamers, parents just don’t discipline anymore. My mum is quite distressed by not being able to use her garden for 6 weeks.they don’t need to go inside & play, they just need to stop screaming, somehow we all managed to.

I work from home and have two kids (who can get very screamy) and I'm done with the school holidays. I'm sick of kids shouting and screaming down the side of my house and I'm sick to death of my own kids too.
I don't think YABU to want a bit of peace and quiet to be honest. I'd fucking love some!

I love the sound of children playing, though it’s mostly neighbours grandchildren as our village demographic is skewed toward middle aged/retired.
However, constant screaming is something else. Two girls screeched and screamed all the way round Sainsburys and ended up at the next checkout to me. Both in school uniform, aged about four and six. Mother ignored them, till operators and customers all willing them to shut up. I tried giving my best teacher-stare but they just stared back and screamed. I was dying to say something but I don’t think it would have gone down well.

What sort of world do we live in where the noise of children playing is a problem? It might be annoying but it's a good thing that children are out and having fun. There's a lot worse noises to be worried about.

Parents do discipline, so cut it out with your sweeping generalisation. My 2 are a bit older now and past the shrieking/screaming stage but they were never allowed to do it and were brought inside if they did. I remember once my daughter had a friend over to play, they got to my house and just started screaming and I told them both in no uncertain terms that they need to calm the hell down. Those who don't discipline their kids will have a rude awakening when they are teens who run riot with no respect for them. All those on the thread with little screamers (SEN aside), please do come and update in a few years and give us all a laugh.

What puzzles me is parents who say they can't do anything about it. Why? Why is it so hard to discipline your kids? Why are they totally ignoring their parents?

Kids will scream and shout but they certainly can learn not to (unless SEN). Children need structure, warnings, consequences and rewards, applied steadily over time.

It does demand effort and investment. That's parenting!

YANBU HOWEVER, have you considered how your neighbours feel? Speaking from personal experience my daughter screams ALL THE TIME. ever since she knew she could scream she has. Whether she’s happy, sad, content, bored, excited, hungry, thirsty. You name it. And it’s not just a scream. It’s deafening. Ear piercing
and extremely high pitched. trying to get her to stop screaming really doesn’t do anything except make me feel frustrated and upset. I always worry the neighbours will be moaning but there is literally nothing I can do unless I attach her to me 24/7 which is not reasonable. I can sympathise with you but also see it from the other side.

@Tigofigo, I don't think anyone here is aiming comments at ND children.
I have a 'shrieker' nearby and did wonder if she was ND. She isn't, so her screaming is by choice - and her mother totally ignores it.

Duct tape works better 🤣

I agree is lovely to hear kids playing and usual noise having fun as we all did it but there is one kid who is always outside (can't she go squeal and scream and squeak outside her own house) and there is a big difference between normal playing and that squealing. Some parents do not parent simple and most do it right and will tell their kids to stop the squeaking. I was shocked when I heard that same child say to another kid 'you fucking bitch' it did make me giggle but shocked. How can these kids that are only 5-6 be outside on their own away from their own house and squeak and scream and no one seems to give a rats arse where their child is. Goes through my skull.

Anyone saying it is normal noise of kids must have kids who scream all the time and just ignore it.

What noise is nicer than hearing DC playing? I had a friend whose wife was dying .The NDN were worried about the children shouting, and said he would bring them in .His wife said not to as she liked hearing them.I appreciate loud shrieks are a bit alarming, but I would rather hear this than DIY or loud Music .It will be wet/cold soon enough ,let them have fun FFS!

It will be wet/cold soon enough ,let them have fun FFS!

Another one who believes that gardens are simply for children to enjoy.

I was happy when it rained the other day just so I did not have to listen to them and kids so young out on scooters until 11.30 at night screaming and squeaking and parents standing there talking on the corner and letting them do it, do they not realize some people have to be up early. Just because it is the summer does not mean that children should be allowed to scream and squeak high pitched all the time, parenting is what is needed but obviously we can see from this thread who bothers parenting and who doesn't. Everyone should be able to enjoy their time in their garden and not just for children to squeak in.

This thread is unbelievably frustrating. So many posters failing to understand the difference between kids playing, laughing and making noise and shrieking and screaming at the top of their lungs. Are you actual idiots or just not reading the OP?

Im with you op, my neighbours 3 boys play together, its nice to hear them even if they are a bit loud sometimes but neighbour at bottom of the garden has a shrieking kid and a squealing puppy, he was out there at 6.30 am shrieking at the dog and copying its barking to wind it up, that to me is just not on. Shouting at the top of his voice at 7am on a Sunday morning as well!

You do know kids can play without screeching at full volume, don't you? There's a huge difference between hearing kids laugh and play and constant loud screaming and shrieking. My neighbours have no volume control, they talk at a near shout all the time, and the kids scream, shriek and yell constantly. It drives me nuts.