To speak to my neighbours about their shrieking children?

[Capricorn8990]

Now I don’t mind hearing children laugh, play and shout but I am really struggling with my neighbours children squealing and shrieking. I can’t even sit in my garden at the moment. My neighbour has her friend over most days who also has 2 children and they all squeal and shriek. This can go on for hours..

Neither adults ask them to be quiet and it’s really making me miserable cos we can’t even sit outside.

AIBU to speak to my neighbour about this? We get on well but not sure how I would approach it.

I'm wondering if the people excusing it are also parents who allow this kind of antisocial behaviour themselves?
It's downright unacceptable.
I don't have a problem hearing children playing - I actually like to hear it.
However, most children are perfectly capable of playing without continually screaming and shrieking.

My son has ADHD and I told him exactly what my DM told me, "You only scream when you're in pain or if someone tries to hurt you, otherwise how will I know if these things are happening?". He occasionally would try copying other children screaming and shrieking for no reason but would get told he'd be removed from the softplay or playground if he didn't stop. The parents who let it go on without even attempting to speak to their children near me are the same ones who leave their dog yapping in the garden all day "because it annoys her in the house".

🙄 Oh FFS yourself love. Obviously it must be hard on her but it's also absolute bloody torture for the neighbour. Would it be OK for the neighbour to go around and give her a mouthful about her kids because she's at the end of her tether. Of course not.

Children next to us have competitions with their friends over who can scream the loudest.
They then shriek for hours.
Love hearing kids playing but screaming...no need for it.

As annoying as it is I wouldn’t be saying anything because it’s got the potential to cause a full on neighbour dispute.

I get how bad it is because we used to live next to a screamer. I like sitting in the garden reading a book, but that was impossible. His mother was loud too and absolutely didn’t care that the whole street was having their days disturbed from 8am onwards.

He only lasted 6 months in his first reception class because the school were trying to “dull his sparkle” so they sent him to a different school. I think they were just trying to make him be a little bit quieter.

I know it's not ideal, but the noise of children playing is kind of what you get when living next door to children! You could always move!

Oh FFS the good old 'you could just move'. Sadly you can't choose your neighbours or control if people have kids next to you and then let them screech all day.

Maybe parents could actually just parent, and teach their kids to have some consideration for other people. Unless there is SEN it's perfectly possible to have fun without shrieking

Two kids next door, one three the other five. Lovely kids, but oh boy when they are together in the garden the decibel level of their screaming is unreal.

I get over it and live and let live, but honestly it is piercing. I reckon the older one bullies the younger one and the younger one is marking her place and fighting for her rights!

They will both be gone in two weeks back to nursery and school. Mother has Summer off as a teacher. Lovely family but I reckon the parents don't hear them after a while.

Also what if you move and your new neighbour also believes that shrieking is a normal way for kids to play? You can’t exactly harangue the neighbours on a house viewing. ”Just move” a lazy response and I suspect that reflects the parenting.

I think people forget they were kids once and will also more than likely say that they sat quietly in their garden not making a sound.

Quite the opposite - I remember me and my siblings being brought inside and told off if we shrieked. It only took a couple of them for us to learn that shrieking meant no more fun in the garden. Normal chat and laughing was fine but screaming was not allowed.

My kids weren’t allowed to scream and neither was I. If my kids screamed in the garden they got brought in. I was a supervisor in a nursery for a few years, if children screamed we told them to stop. It’s not something that should be ignored because it’s anti social and if they’re screaming for fun how do you know when they’re hurt?

@Capricorn8990 I'm wondering if you're my neighbour - I'm at the end of my tether with my ndn and the constant, constant screaming.

You can tell the parents on here who let their kids do what they want, shriek and scream and annoy the neighbours and make their life hell, from the ones who have to suffer these kids, (coz the parents who don't know how to discipline their kids (or don't want to) are doing NOTHING about their unruly kids!)

We lived next to a family like this. 2 screaming shrieking little kids (6 and 8,) who were shoved in the garden on the trampoline every hour of their lives (that they weren't at school.) And even when they WERE at school, the mother had the 2 young adult daughters around (17 and 18) with THEIR screaming toddlers. Our lives were miserable, because of the horrendous NOISE. But thankfully we were only in a private let so only had to tolerate it for 1.5 years.

My friend who lives a few doors down from me, has a family the same as this who moved in a year ago, and even though my friend has been in her home for 17 years, she is now selling up and moving, as this dreadful new neighbour of hers does not give her a minute's peace. 3 kids screaming all day, and the mum screaming at them. Loud music playing half the day. Utter hell.

It fucks me right off when people say shit like 'oh just how DARE children enjoy their own garden!' Just bore off with that already. This is clearly NOT the sort of thing the OP is on about.

@Capricorn8990 YANBU, and you have my sympathy. No advice really, except maybe consider moving. Dreadful neighbours like this will never change, and you should not HAVE to put fucking earbuds in, or noise cancelling headphones FFS!

I am so glad to be detached now, (so no noise coming through walls,) with one single childfree lady in the house on the one side of me, and a couple in their 70s on the other side. (One son aged 43, with a daughter in her 20s...) No screaming kids thank fuck!

I agree with everything you say. The other thing that pisses me off is people who say they’re “naturally loud”. No, no you’re not. No one is born loud, you choose to be loud and you allow your children to be loud because you’re downright inconsiderate.

We’re in a detached house, in between two sets of married pensioners now. It’s absolute bliss.

I think the kids a couple of doors down have some sort of link up, and know when I’m going outside. For a few minutes it’s nice and peaceful, then there is suddenly a lot of high pitched shrieking from one girl, and general noise from the others. I accept there are kids around, and it’s nice they are enjoying themselves, but this girl, she has such a high pitched scream, it hurts my ears. I think she must be related to a bird, because it’s at the same frequency.

When I made lots of noise when I was a child I’d have been told to shut up. 🤐

I'm usually really tolerant but mid winter (Australia) the neighbours kids had friends over. They decided to get in the pool. Cue shrieking and screaming. After an inordinate amount of time, I couldn't take the shrillness any more. From inside, with my best paddock crossing voice, I yelled "can you shut up". Cue a major Disney moment. Nothing in close vicinity made a noise. Not a child, not a bird, not a dog, not a car. Total utter silence.

The kids in question were around 12yo. The pool was freezing - it was winter! There was no need to be shrill for an extended period of time. The parents should have addressed it after the first 10 minutes.

As many posters have said above normal playing sounds are not a problem. It is the ear splitting screaming and shrillness that does you in. It's not ok. As a kid who grew up on a farm with no neighbours, when we went to Grandma's in town we were expressly told no squealing etc. I was 3yo and could follow the rules. It's really not that hard.

Wow, I really must be missing something. I've lived across seven different countries, three different continents, countless addresses in London and I have never yet heard this fabled "shrieking" that mumsnetters talk about. I've heard children playing, for sure, and some of them were louder than others. But I don't think I've ever encountered a noise from a child playing where I thought "right that is too much and I must have words". I'm guessing it's something that if you know you know, but as I said I'd have expected to have encountered unacceptable child noise by now at my grand old age of 47. So maybe I'm just missing this extra radar? Because all of you on here seem to know precisely what OP is talking about. And I do not.

Good luck with that! If someone came and complained about my children playing in the garden it wouldn't make me change our behaviour. In fact an old neighbour did once try this in lock down and I told her she could report us to the council if she really thought it was an issue. She did, but the council said children playing is normal household noise. I have to put up with neighbours' building work, occasional parties and just general noise so they need to just put up with my children playing in the garden during the summer holidays.

My neighbour has a child, who does this when other children are there, who I thin' are related. At least I know it's temporary. It is awful though, so you have my sympathies op. And I have a young child myself, who also hates it.

Oh no happy children, what a crime! Get a life OP

So why would you think of giving anyone who spoke to you about the noise a "mouthful"??

Read. The. OP

ANOTHER poster who thinks their screechy, OTT noisy children are just 'spirited' and anyone who doesn't like it can fuck off.

And ANOTHER one. MY KIDS WILL DO WHAT THE FUCK THEY LIKE AND FUCK EVERYONE ELSE . ner ner ner ner nerrrr!

100% this. ^