August babies shouldn't be allowed to move down a year

[SapphosRock]

My DD has a late August birthday, she is 6 nearly 7 and about to go into Year 3.

A friend in her class (let's call her Lucy) has an early August birthday but was allowed to move down a year. She is already 8.

No special needs, her mum just decided she would prefer her DD to be the oldest in the class rather than one of the youngest.

This has impacted my DD in a few ways. She is good at sports but being the youngest means she doesn't often win. On Sports Day Lucy came first in the year 2 running race. My DD came 4th so missed out on a medal.

Lucy had a sleepover for her 8th birthday and invited the girls in DD's class. Most went but I didn't think DD was ready for a sleepover as she's still only 6 so she missed out on a fun party.

Lucy got the biggest speaking part in the Christmas play as she is the most confident and articulate.

AIBU and precious to think Lucy should have been kept in the correct year group?

I'm interested in this theme whenever it comes up. I was born at the end of August and was always the youngest in my year.

I was born mid September and was younger than some of the children in the year below. I did struggle a bit with maths for the first couple of years but then caught up. Long term it wasn’t an issue. Ultimately, I became an academic at a well respected UK university.

Just though it was a tad unfair my DD is expected to work / perform at the same level as a girl 13 months older than her.

It will all even out in the end. And remember: "Comparison is the thief of joy." Don't compare your daughter, and don't encourage her to compete against anyone - except herself (if you must talk about competition at all).

I was 18 months younger than the oldest person in my class (and 12 months younger than the next youngest in my class) for my whole school career - I did A Levels at 16. I wasn't sporty or competitive so that really didn't matter. I suppose I was considered extremely bright - I remember doing loads of intelligence tests in 6th class - the year before going to secondary school. I think they needed t check that intellectually, I was OK.

I was fine!

A friend at primary school was a couple of months older than me, and her parents, like Lucy's, decided to have her repeat 6th class before going to secondary school. I don't think it helped her. Whenever we meet at secondary school, she was embarrassed at having to explain she repeated a year. I think it backfired on her in all sorts of ways. People were worried about my "social development" but honestly, I think hers was more affected by repeating/moving down a year.

will be one year older than their peers at the same stage in life: they will have had one more year of childhood play when they were 4 (which they won’t remember) but one less year to build your career/save for a house/pay into a pension etc.
This doesn't make sense they won't be a year older. They may only be a few days older.
By the way I am August born. I took an extra year to do my GCSEs because I was is young when I took them the first time I just want ready. so I took A levels and went to university with people officially in the school year group below me. It didn't impact on my life at all!

I think you are being unreasonable. My son has a late August birthday and I started him in reception in the September after he turned 5. I did this because I didn't feel he was ready for school at just turned 4. He had a speech delay and struggled socially. So he is now the oldest in his year. I couldn't just make the decision. I had to apply to admissions authority and get supportive letter from his speech therapist who said he would benefit was deferred start date.
I don't compare him to anyone else, I did what I did for him.
I personally think just turned 4 is very young to start school especially when comparing them to September babies who are near a year older. Obviously it depends on the individual child and I know some mums who say their child is more than ready.

Common sense and the data shows that summer born children are at a disadvantage to some of their peers who may be nearly one year older. That said, the cut off has to be somewhere.

I was anticipated as academically able (mechanisms in my own country explained in my previous post), and no, I am not happy about my parents’ choice as an adult. When my peers were doing teenager things, I still wanted to do childish things, and I have carried my inability to fit in into my adulthood.

Are you for real 😳

One could make the point that if you are so obsessed over your daughter’s perceived disadvantages due to her birth month, you should have timed her birth to be in September / October or anytime other than the summer months. That’s what I did 🤷🏻‍♀️

@viques

“The difference does even out eventually, at four years old a year of age represents a quarter of your entire experience so you have had a quarter less exposure to language, you are a quarter less emotionally experienced, physically your body and muscles are a quarter less developed and competent, at eight it represents an eighth of your experience and so on, by the time you are 12 the differences are negligible.“

Negligible? No, the differences are stark:

Researchers at the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) examined whether there was a link between the month in which a child is born and what they tend to do when they leave school.

They studied three data sets, which represent the records of 48,500 children and teenagers in England. They found children born in August were 20% less likely than their classmates born 11 months earlier. in September, to go to Russell Group universities – the top flight that includes Oxford and Cambridge. They were more likely to study vocational courses instead

Do you really think (genuine Q) that when they reach 20-25 your DC will be happy they had an extra year before school (which they won’t remember) but one less year to build a career/save for a house etc?
I would have been quite mad at this age if all my peers were 1y younger than me and would have felt my parents literally held me back

Is life really that much of a competition?! This is about holding back children who would fall into the year below were they born later by a matter of weeks. They still get an education, can do further study and build a career. Allowing them to develop socially/academically or whichever way they need to be ready for learning is not taking away their future. Life is for living, it is not a race as to who will get a job or buy their house first🙄

What are you going to do when there’s a child with a birthday in November or February or May who just happens to be doing better than your dc/is bigger or taller/ gets a main part in the Xmas play - at some point you have to just take a step back and go is on your own child it’s not a competition

Absolutely nothing because those kids are in the correct year group and their parents adhering to a fair system.

I would have been quite mad at this age if all my peers were 1y younger than me and would have felt my parents literally held me back

Show me a school class with one child born in August and deferred, and every single other children in that class also born in August or July and not deferred, making a single child a whole year older than EVERYONE?

That just doesn't happen, does it? There will be a spread of children. An August born deferred child will be potentially just a few days older than the oldest September kids.

Do you really think (genuine Q) that when they reach 20-25 your DC will be happy they had an extra year before school (which they won’t remember) but one less year to build a career/save for a house etc?

Hahah, yes?!

I've 'wasted' loads of years of my life one way or another. Gap years, ski seasons, deferred uni years (I didn't do any of those but people do). I hope she doesn't view life as one enormous conveyor belt of things that have to be ticked off.

But we obviously view childhood differently. Whether she remembers it or not is irrelevant, she will still be there at the time.

Your being absolutely ridiculous op, as many have said you sound very petty and jealous. Lucy’s parents did what they thought was best for their child, your child’s needs are not their concern just like it’s non of your business what their child’s needs are.

My august born dd has been deferred a year, I’m certainly not going to apologise or justify doing this, I’ve done what’s best for my child if others don’t like that then that’s their problem.

also the UK school system of sending 4yos to school and having strict year groups is ridiculous too. Every child is different but they are forced into year groups where many suffer. Other countries manage to be flexible and it works. In New Zealand children don’t start school until after their 5th birthday regardless of the time of year, Nordic countries it’s 7, In Ireland children like the uk can start school the September after turning 4 but don’t have to start until they are 6. Many schools won’t even consider excepting children born after June. Children are regularly moved into different year groups based on their needs just like Scotland, there is no stigma involved because is so common placed.

The current system is fair - you can defer your DD too if you want her to be the biggest/strongest in the group so she has exactly the same opportunity as Lucy.

You have good reasons not to and are doing what is best for your child, that is all that is relevant here.

Lucy's parents have made a decision that suits her best. You've made a decision that suits your own DD best.

Why should Lucy have to survive in her natural cohort when she has the alternative to thrive in the year below? In any case, you never know what's going on at home so her mum may not be telling you the full story.

Interesting. I wonder what other variables they looked at eg position in family, maternal level of education, social class, premature birth, low birth weight and all the other indicators that are assumed to predict a child’s future academic success.

These reasons are quite bizarre. My younger sister has a mid August birthday and my mum kept her back. She has no additional needs per se, but has struggled at school even with being kept back. If my mum hadn't done this she would have found things really difficult.

Even if Lucy hadn't been in your daughters class, 2 others beat her in the race. Another girl may have had a sleepover, or got a 'better' part in a play.

Stop comparing your poor child to other children.

Actually there is one small aspect in which @SapphosRock is YAIBU and that relates to the sports day.

Although it isn't law, the advice from sporting bodies is that every effort should be made to ensure children play sport within and against their own age group, regardless of whether they are being educated out of their age group. Obviously this might be difficult to accommodate in a school timetable, but outside school there will come a point where Lucy would not be allowed to play out of age group – this varies from sport to sport, and clearly is more likely to apply sooner to contact sports than something like running, but it is something any school needs to consider.

Why should Lucy have to survive in her natural cohort when she has the alternative to thrive in the year below?

Why should my DD struggle in her natural cohort just to make way for Lucy to thrive?

Why didn’t you do the same for your DD?

I have an august and a September ds and dd. I do think it would have benefitted my ds confidence wise to be in the year below as he was one of the smallest and was less physically able at the start of school and I think that lack of confidence carried through. However, academically and socially he has been fine. He goes into year 6 in September and is one of taller boys and about average for speed and sport now (but still I think with a little lack of confidence there). I don’t think keeping them down a year was an option them (I’m in wales and don’t know if it’s a thing now) but I’m glad I couldn’t as he plays football and they go by academic year and he wouldn’t have been with the same kids for it which he wouldn’t have liked.

my dd definitely has had an advantage being an older one. However, as a pp has said, their birth dates are taken into account and reflected in their standardised scores. I do think yabu as Lucy’s parents were only doing what was best for Lucy and you could have made that same choice.

Lucy's parents made the correct decision for her

You didn't make the correct decision for your daughter

Sour grapes.

I can see Lucy's parents' point of view as confidence to achieve educational tasks can have a huge impact on your self esteem and your future prospects. I have first hand experience of this as I was admitted to a prep school nursery at 2 when the minimum age was 3. I am actually am October baby but was the youngest the class by quite a bit so August babies were two months older than me. I was a competent reader and was on a par with the others in most areas other than maths. Consequently, when I was 6 and others were 7 or 8 (if September born) i was struggling and was kept in every lunchtime to catch up! Except I wasn't really struggling probably just working at the lower end for my age, that had an impact on my self esteem. I wasn't moved to the right year group until year 5 so it additionally added a pressure on friendships and people asking questions, assuming I wasn't bright enough to be in the year above.

Holding your child back a year is controversial, however most heads allow it for July & August babies. Usually June babies would go straight into the normal cohort.
I think it would be better if they changed the cut off, perhaps to Feb as an earlier poster suggested. All you can really do is suggest it to your MP and see if they bring it forward to be debated, doubt they'll kick the summer borns out of the year below and put them into the correct cohort though if it goes through.

The older ones in a year group statistically do better at GCSE which makes a difference as to what they go on to do at sixths form level
Why do you think teachers try to conceive in January or February?