To not want my flatmate’s gf to come around the house?

[Busssyb]

Whilst I imagine it’s impossible to forbid someone from having a guest over I literally cannot stand this person to the point where I want to move out. I don’t know what else to do. Help.

My flatmate’s gf comes around a few days a week and leaves beer bottles, glasses and plates she’s used lying around the kitchen after she’s left. Her bf refuses to wash them because he claims he didn’t use them, it was her. We end up cleaning after her every single time. She also parks in our neighbour’s space even though we repeatedly ask her not to.

As expected they have sex every single time she’s around and whilst it’s completely acceptable and expected, it is the loudest sex I have ever had to endure. I work from home and have had to stop meetings halfway through because her moaning is so loud that my mic picks it up and it’s beyond embarrassing.

She is also way careless when it comes to our home, she never locks the door after coming in and I’ve even found the door wide open after she’s come through. Never turns lights off and has even left the fridge open overnight and we had to bin most of our food. Last night she left a pile of soaked towels they took the beach on our kitchen wood floorboards which my other housemate saw hours later in the morning. We don’t think there’s any damage to the floor but it is so infuriating to have to put up with this from someone that doesn’t even live here!

We don’t know what to do, we don’t think we can kick him out as technically speaking he’s not the one doing all this but also doesn’t even try to make her treat our house with some respect. Is it even possible to ban someone from your house? What are our options? Should I just move out?

Why arent you getting landlord to deal with it? Your flatmate is arrogant. & theyre both walking all over you because you let them. No way would I clean up after them.

Id have spoken to them once only and thats it. Report to landlord even if you have to film/record their mess.

If you can't do all that then just find somewhere else to live as this isn't going to get any better is it

Do you own the house (you say “our house” in the OP but everything else you post makes you sound like a tenant)? What sort of rental agreement do you (and he) have?

In terms of kicking him out, morally and legally if you have the leverage to kick him out at all it’s unlikely to matter whether the behaviour is his or his girlfriend’s. If, for instance, he is a tenant or subcontractor of yours you can just serve notice. But if you don’t have the authority to kick him out, e.g. if he is an equal party to the lease or has a separate contract with the landlord it’s probably not that helpful to discuss you kicking him out.

If you have a joint tenancy agreement then you can break it when it comes to an end (or serve the required notice). If you’re ready with a replacement or you’re prepared to cover the cost of his rent you could probably suggest that you hand in your notice and start a new contract without the annoying roommate. But annoying roommate might want to stay and have friends he can bring in. Then it would be up to the landlord. So it might not work out the way you want. You would have most control by you and nice roommate looking for somewhere else and moving when your contract comes to an end (and this is probably your only option if landlord won’t respond to complaints and you have separate contracts).

I wouldn’t bother putting more effort into trying to get him to take responsibility except as a stop gap measure. He’s shown how he thinks. Even if you get him to step up on this he’s clearly a taker and not someone you should want to live with.

Have you thought that maybe the misbehaving is deliberate to make you fed up and you’ll move out so gf can move in 🤔

If you're a tenant and he's on the lease too, speak to the landlord. They won't want their house being destroyed (tell them about the towel situation). If it's your house, give him notice to move out or tell him no guests.

The petty in me says use all the glasses etc before she gets there…
but she’s an idiot and so Is her bf.
kick him out! He’s petty and unreasonable

You say we

how many of you share and how many want him /her out

talk to both of them calmly and say it stops or he moves out

contact ll as her leaving the door open is a risk

get neighbour to block her in

she is rude and disrespectful as is he