To expect DD15 to feed herself?

[SteveHarringtonsChestHair]

Went on a lunch date today. DCs are all older teens. DD (15) is outraged that I didn’t sort out something for her to eat when I got home at 2.30pm

I told her there is bread for toast, wraps, crumpets, leftover chicken in the fridge, noodles/pasta etc and that she can make herself something. She thinks it is selfish of me to feed myself and not her.

WIBU?

YABU she needs lunch and you are mean not to provide her with this before you left or after you came home

YANBU she is 15 with no additional needs, perfectly capable of fending for herself and needs to grow the F up.

I thank you.

I know this thread is basically light hearted. But I would be pausing to wonder why a generally competent, non-awful teenager would be making such a huge fuss about this?

When was the last time you took her out for lunch, just the two of you?

Or did she just let herself get so hungry that she just couldn't function rationally? (that would have been me as a teenager!)

My 17 year old DD told me there was no food in the house yesterday. I was amazed, and pointed out the full fridge and cupboards. She told me that none of that is FOOD, it’s just INGREDIENTS. 😂
That's not particularly funny either. Does she really think only SuperMummy has the power to morph ingredients into meals? Bit wet.

see you daughter and raise you my friends daughter who is happy to make her own breakfast but likes her DM to wake up and 'watch her eat it'. Even when working shifts so it's really not time for her to be awake Wow! That’s a step up for sure!

When I asked “who wants to make their mummy a nice cup of tea?” DD replied “I do. I know that’s the only correct answer”

So do you never sit down and eat as a family or do you all cook around each other then sit down with four different dinners? Do they submit their meal plans for the shopping or just have to make it from whatever you buy?

I took her to London for a day out doing exactly what she wanted, including lunch in a cat cafe, last week and to a local attraction she was desperate to visit the one before. Also have other plans over the holidays although our last one was cancelled. She definitely gets quality time with me, but I think probably missing having friends to hang out with this summer.

My eldest prefers to make his own lunch then he cant be given anything moderately healthy or salad like

Younger than this it was my job to start food prep for family dinner every evening after school (bet that won’t make a dent as life was obviously so much easier for teens then). My DC likes to have food made (doesn’t everyone!) but doesn’t expect it and makes things for themselves daily too. Maybe the issue was the selection, however she’s also old enough to plan and at least shop for a pot noodle or whatever…

My 13yo and 10yo feed themselves breakfast and lunch most days! YADNBU

Umm my 12 year old makes herself lunch. Even when she goes to school she gets up makes her own breakfast and pack up.

Her older sister (19) also very capable …though sometimes during the mid teenage years it become the hardest thing ever to leave her bed and feed herself….she survived

Is this a joke? You're rude and you don't care if you don't make everyone else llunch before you go out for lunch?

If your DH didn't make you lunch before going out you would be unimpressed?

Surely this is a joke I'm not getting? No-one is this insanely entitled?

Aw the poor wee lamb ! She would bloody starve in my house.

Hi, teenage daughter.

This is exactly what my father - a misogynistic idiot - would say to my mother when I was your age. You are echoing the behaviours, words and sexism of a charmless, twattish 50-something man from the 90s.

I was the teenager who they said would grow out of it and as you can see, I didn't. But your mum is right on this one.

@SleepingStandingUp As a family we tend to get our own breakfast & lunch ( if more of us in then we will have lunch together - depends on people's working schedule ) and then have dinner together At the weekend when no one working we eat together more frequently

YANBU and I’d be going out much more so she learns to cook for herself.

However, this isn’t about food.

Nope apparently doesn’t care because “men are all awful”!

She’s upset you went out on a date.
Is there a reason why she’s over protective of you?

I get that, I was just surprised by @Titsywoo who don't seem to have any shared meals at all

@SteveHarringtonsChestHair Do tell her that I will also stand in front of a fridge of food and complain theres NOTHING I WANT TO EAT and I will also repeatedly look in an empty fridge in the hope that the food fairies put something in there since last time.. and I am 42 now, and do my own shopping...

Being an adult doesn't make me behave like one all the time!

Did you read it in the right order??

She thinks it’s similar to me making myself lunch and eating it in front of her and then telling her to make her own.

This is also acceptable

This is rude regardless of who you do it to. I'd be pretty pissed off if DH did it, and I certainly wouldn't do it to him or the kids.

Same, I'd be unimpressed if my DH did this to me. It's not about capability, it's about showing you care.

School summer holidays - pretty much everyone fends for themselves at lunch time, including the 11 year old 99% of the time

Frozen bread is perfect for (toasted) sandwiches

You were out for lunch. How is that feeding you not her? If she ate a sandwich while you were out, would that be her feeding herself not you?
I would have quite a word with her about behaving as though she is incompetent when she isn't and trying to guilt-trip you. Not attractive behaviour.

I actually understand the sad feeling, when one goes outside for definitely-fancy-looking (*) meal outside and the other is left with a frozen bread.

It doesn't change much on the practical side of things, it just sometimes happen, and it isn't wrong per say. However if eating out is generally rare in your households or if you do it often and DD very rarely, the feeling would have some merit.

(*) at least from the non-participant point of view

When my DS was 17 he made himself lunch by taking a large watermelon out of the fridge and eating the whole thing.
Did you not leave your DD a watermelon you neglectful woman ?

My DS is 37 now and quite a good cook (but would still eat an entire watermelon given half a chance)

Stick around.

In 15 years time your sons wife will be on here complaining about the manchild she Iives with and how her MIL treats him like a little prince and he is useless round the house

YANBU of course.

My newly 11yo DS can make sandwiches, soups, pasta, noodles etc. He’s pretty good at that side of things to be fair, do have to shoehorn him into the shower though lol!

I did yeah. I think you're bonkers.

You want a sandwich so you have to make everyone one or you don't care about them? Come the fuck on!