To expect DD15 to feed herself?

[SteveHarringtonsChestHair]

Went on a lunch date today. DCs are all older teens. DD (15) is outraged that I didn’t sort out something for her to eat when I got home at 2.30pm

I told her there is bread for toast, wraps, crumpets, leftover chicken in the fridge, noodles/pasta etc and that she can make herself something. She thinks it is selfish of me to feed myself and not her.

WIBU?

YABU she needs lunch and you are mean not to provide her with this before you left or after you came home

YANBU she is 15 with no additional needs, perfectly capable of fending for herself and needs to grow the F up.

I thank you.

Get her to sign a contract that everytime she is asked out, henceforth, she will have to take you with her, or else she is being very selfish.

Your post made me laugh like a drain, OP. It brings back memories of being outraged when my mother started to treat me like an adult. I got used to it soon though.

Tell her my 12 years old son made me breakfast today before I got up. Scrambled eggs on toast.

How often does she cook for the family ?

Now I'd give time to set a budget, offer to buy for her so long as she cooks and cleans up after a meal for the family each week.

A fun teaching moment.

Ha Ha!! Love that idea.

She has inspired a spaghetti name change for me.

Tell her we said grow up and shut up

I grew up with an seriously ill and disabled parent, honestly is parents making food for older children (outside of things like xmas) really even a thing?

I can barely remember my mam cooking for me, I remember when I was younger like 6 and under she could sometimes boil me and egg or pasta and sometimes take aways but a 15 year old is fully capible of that theselves.

My mam always made sure their where food and snacks in and where I easily could reach them, I wasnt allowed to use the over/kettle until my teens (in case of burns) but I never went hungry.

At 16 (not even a year old than you DD) I was on my own and really did fend for myself, I wish I had had access to all that stuff and appliences to cook/store it.

I know someone who packed her son off to this cookery school after his first week off/start of his gap year. Called it prep for uni training.
You can do it online now 😉

www.cookingisfun.ie

Looks like you’ve raised an entitled rude lazy teenager.

My teens have been making all their own meals since they were about 14! I didn't insist on it they just decided they wanted to.

My lot all know better than to ask me happily feed themselves. They are 16, 15 & 13. If there's bread/crumpets/chicken etc that's more than enough (or jam, the 13 yo loves an excuse for a jam sandwich) to make herself a sandwich.

This is rude regardless of who you do it to. I'd be pretty pissed off if DH did it, and I certainly wouldn't do it to him or the kids.

In the past year my daughter has attempted suicide, had a mental breakdown, been diagnosed with Autism and had to leave school with no qualifications, but never at any time was she incapable of making a sandwich.

My 14yo can and does make his own lunch if we aren't at home. Sandwiches, pot noodle/instant pasta, soup, leftovers from the freezer.
Often if we are all at home lunch is a sort your self meal as we may feel like different things at different times

YANBU!

My 11 and 9 year old are perfectly capable of making themselves basic meals.
They will on occasion make breakfast for themselves and if I’m busy my 11 year old is happy to make sandwiches and sort her lunch out.
At 15 she has no excuse and does not need to rely on you to make her meals.

As soon as I was in secondary school I was making my own breakfast and lunch everyday along with helping prep all dinners and even making some dinners by myself with a little guidance from my parents.
At 15 I could make virtually any meal I needed to and I found it quite freeing to have the independence of sorting my own food out rather than waiting or having to eat what others wanted.

Wow that’s pretty pathetic and entitled. By 15 I was making roast dinners and all sorts for myself family and I certainly wouldn’t be complaining about a meal not being on the table for me.

i once went to a friends and her daughter wouldn’t even slice her own (homemade) bread for lunch. She was 18 and about to leave for uni. I was gobsmacked. She just ‘gestured’ for mummy to do it.

will definitely come up with a dinner rota for when we all go back to work/school!

You have one bored and lonely teenager. I'd suggest a summer project of mastering cooking for a family. Prep the rest of the household to be lavish in their praise of her first attempts and watch her confidence grow.

Though to be fair, it says more about the teenage years than about any one DC. I see you daughter and raise you my friends daughter who is happy to make her own breakfast but likes her DM to wake up and 'watch her eat it'. Even when working shifts so it's really not time for her to be awake.

Ah, bless. I never valued what my DM did for me, just wanted to be independent as fast as possible.

😂😂😂
@Topgub
I like your parenting style!

Come on! Sure, you generally make him lunch, fine...but would you actually make him lunch if you were going out for lunch? Like a toddler? Do you make him lunch every single day?

I don't beleive you.

When will she grow out if it, when her Mum comes home and microwaves her spaghetti?
It's actually not all that amusing, refusing to eat all day because you feel aggrieved at having to press a button on the microwave.
Not a usual teenage thing at all 🤷🏻‍♀️

Same, I'd be unimpressed if my DH did this to me. It's not about capability, it's about showing you care.

I blame the parents.

2% so one for each of them!

Your relationship does sound a really good one, and she does sound a great kid. I would have been tempted to make up a plate of food in the shape of a face though, like you'd do for a toddler😬

My 13yo is expected to make herself breakfast and lunch every day she is home in the summer holidays. I’m wfh and I’m busy. She can handle a sandwich. I would make her breakfast when I make mine, but she doesn’t want to get up that early.

i Would have a hard time not laughing if a 15 yo was upset at having to make herself lunch.

Cereal + milk = meal

Bread + ham or cheese cut into thick lumps + placed on bread = meal

Bread + crisps + placed on bread = meal

Bread + tomato ketchup + crisps = meal

This is the kind of "meals" I made for myself at 9/10 and then between 18 to about 25. I didn't let my mum catch me though.