To expect DD15 to feed herself?

[SteveHarringtonsChestHair]

Went on a lunch date today. DCs are all older teens. DD (15) is outraged that I didn’t sort out something for her to eat when I got home at 2.30pm

I told her there is bread for toast, wraps, crumpets, leftover chicken in the fridge, noodles/pasta etc and that she can make herself something. She thinks it is selfish of me to feed myself and not her.

WIBU?

YABU she needs lunch and you are mean not to provide her with this before you left or after you came home

YANBU she is 15 with no additional needs, perfectly capable of fending for herself and needs to grow the F up.

I thank you.

I blame the age, she will probably cringe in a few years when thinking about it 😂YANBU

She’s hilarious. And not even lazy really, she’s brilliant. Just has no confidence in the kitchen. And I know pandering to her hasn’t helped that. Maybe need to do some cooking together

She thinks it’s similar to me making myself lunch and eating it in front of her and then telling her to make her own

Heh, I do that as well. I do make their dinners. I largely stopped doing lunch in lockdown also.

My DD14 who has SEN and frankly struggles with a lot if things, can and regularly does, make herself food.

She favours plain food but can microwave herself rice as noodles, can make a pot noodle (I thought pot noodle making was compulsory for being a teen 😂), can do a bowl of cereal, make eggy bread and can also place food like a frozen pizza in the oven and make a cup of tea.

It might be fairly basic but she wouldn't go hungry.

Your poor DD!! What kind of mother are you? Has she been blue lighted to hospital to be put on a drip through malnutrition? Are social services involved? 😉😉

All we have is “bits to make food”. She would happily “in fact more than happily - zealously - make food” if we had pot noodles!

Why did you have to prepare the 1 meal a day during lockdown. There are 3 capable people in the house, cooking should be split. Not equal split, as you are the adult abs they are teenagers, but still split.

Has she explained why it isn't fair for her to make her own sandwich? Has she been out for lunch with her friends at any point and did she make lunch for you when she go back?

she actually smiled at this one.

I tell mine stories of the awful food they served in halls at uni and that they need to be able to cook so they don't die of malnutrition! At 15 she should be able to prepare her own lunch.

Tell your daughter that you posted on MN so her behaviour could become famous if a newspaper picks it up.

And currently 100% of posters think YANBU.

And this is for her - 🎻

To the pp who said she had a tiny point that it's a bit unfair mum got to go for a nice meal and she didn't..does that mean mum can tag along when the daughter goes out with her friends? Is it really reasonable to suggest that one person in a family can't do something alone?

I keep suggesting the idea of everyone making one meal a week but it never catches on - I wonder why?!

…and the friend thing is awkward as she fell out with her friends at the start of the Holidays, so has spent it all alone - probably the root of this now I think of it. We’ve spent a lot of time together as I work term time only, and she hasn’t been out without me at all. Thanks for the nudge in that direction.

Sounds like she needs to gain confidence in cooking. Starting with the tea for everyone. It's that type of attitude that needs nipping in the bud. Eventually she'll have her own pad and have to do this shit.

I would make my teenagers dinner but breakfast and lunch are fend for yourselves

Why did you have to prepare the 1 meal a day during lockdown

Perhaps she prefers to?

2 of my 4 kids are happy making their lunch but 2 hate cooking/meal prep so would rather eat crap or not make it.

I enjoy cooking and prefer to know that they're eating well so tend to make them lunch if I'm around.

However a 15 year old is more than capable and shouldn't moan about making a sandwich or a toastie etc.

Maybe look up some interesting lunch recipes and make them together?

So I do make my family forage for food in the fridge for lunch - If I were in I would probably offer to make them what I was having - but if I were out for lunch for 1 day - really - it isn't that hard to make lunch 1 day . & I am not sure I agree that Mum went out out for a nice lunch on one day & she had to make lunch & it wasn't fair

But them's the breaks.

@HardRockOwl

I'll go against the grain here. My youngest is 15 and I make him lunch - not an issue for me tbh. But then I don't subscribe to the Mumsnet viewpoint that you mustn't do a single thing for your kids from the age of about 7 Grin

Mine is a generally very good kid. You say yours is and does loads round the house. This counts for a lot with teenagers.

I personally would have just made her lunch.

omg why would you make them lunch when you got home??

Surely part of the nice thing about going out for the lunch is not having to make food at home?!

My 9 year old generally gets her own lunch including making her packed lunch every day for school even though I make my own - YADNBU

My 18 year old has sided with your 15 yo as he "prefers" to have his lunch "delivered" to him. This is totally down to DH and his lunch-making which is half an hour of creating six individually curated lunches on everyone's favourite plates which are then taken to wherever each child is lounging. My lunch today was face shaped - bread hair, tomatoes for eyes, cutted up pear nose

It is not similar to you eating in front of her.

It’s a normal lunch situation - some people are out, some people poke in fridge and cupboards and make something.

Be firm about this - she is about 3 years too old for this. She can make her own lunch, she is not a little girl.

Oh to be a teenager again 😃 if I'm home, making something for me, of course I would offer. But if mine get hungry earlier or later, or I'm not home,they know where the kitchen is!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tell her if she doesn't stop being such a bloody drama Queen you'll sign her up to the local dramatic society

Also to stop complaining about a kitchen full of nice food.

Just opened the fridge and there’s a bowl of spag Bol. She said “that’s disgusting, I hate second hand spaghetti!” I’m beginning to think she’s trolling me.

Actually, NOT feeding teenagers is a very good way to get them to come out of their bedrooms, we've found.

So often, DSS has to leave his fetid pit room to make himself a tiny snack involving a vat of pasta pesto or three micro pizzas when we haven't fed him in a sufficiently hearty manner at dinner. Poor boy.