To be fuming with DD

[Snowisallaround]

For ringing the switchboard to speak to me while I was at work today!! To ask if she could go to the cinema with her friends this afternoon! She’s 17 if that makes any difference. She did try to ring and text my mobile but I was in a meeting! I just feel she should have waited for me to see her message or missed call instead of calling the switchboard in an effort to reach me

The day will come when she won't be calling anymore and you'll realise how fucking ridiculous you are being. The world is still spinning, whatever shite you're looking to publicise will get publicity and no one - literally no one - gives a shit that she called the switchboard.

A 17 year old who isn't making her own money, doesn't have a DD or SO from a parent and wants to go to the cinema during school holidays is not U for phoning to get money to go. You are U to not have thought about this earlier and sort out X money for whatever keeps you busy this week DD as you won't be contactable except for emergencies. It's not hard.

Your poor DD 😧

I'm still not buying this. Every organisation I've worked in, an urgent call results in someone coming in person to take you out of the meeting you're in. Calls don't get transferred to meeting rooms as in the movies.

And there's just a ring of implausibility about the the tone of the OP's posts. Holds a management position, yet takes to Mumsnet to "fume" about an incident of teenage self- absorption?

Quite resourceful - points for cheek

Well, both of you were mildly annoying: you forgot her allowance; she phoned you at work. Neither justifies 'fuming'. It's not as though you were a doctor or nurse being disturbed while saving a patient's life (and I'm sure she wouldn't have been put through if you were!). You could just tell her that the work number is only intended to be used for true emergencies.

You forgot to send her her money, or even to just set up a standing order
You forgot to explain to her what constitutes an emergency and when it is appropriate to contact you via the switchboard
You still haven't explained why a 17 y/o doesn't have any access to savings or money from a part time job of her own - most teens of that age would be able to access a tenner or whatever a cinema ticket costs without having to ask mummy for their pocket money every week.
so YABU!
You have said you weren't embarrassed and it wouldn't have affected your job, so what's wrong exactly? Why the need to calm down? Just apologise to her for your error, and then explain that the switchboard number/asking to be put through if told you're in a meeting, is only for absolute emergencies. And maybe think about encouraging a bit of self-dependence, regarding problem solving - e.g. having access to a small amount of money, asking her friends to lend her something, as presumably she could be living on her own in uni or working full time pretty soon!

I feel sorry for this kid actually - her Dad is not around, her Mum is Very Busy and Important. She is possibly quite lonely.

That made me laugh.

She’s 17 and fixated on herself.

I don’t think you need to fume, just tell her next time she needs to pony up at the very least a semi detached finger type emergency if she calls the switch.

and you've said it would have then been too late for you to transfer the money for her to go to the cinema. Cut her some slack fgs, it's not the end of the world is it? You are not in trouble at work, your daughter got the money to go to the cinema with friends.

so your fault then? I'd be apologosing to your daughter and not fuming.

For crying out loud.

Apologise to your daughter for leaving her with no allowance, tell her that'll you set up a direct debit, and tell her not to call that number again without very good reason, giving examples.

She's 17. Anything keeping her from her friends is 'urgent'.

I'd have felt like shit if that was my kid and they missed out because they couldn't get me. No, it wouldn't be the end of the world, but I would feel rotten because I remember how it feels to be a teenager, whether those feelings were rational or not.

I wouldn't be doing my dinger because she went the wrong way about finding a solution to a problem I created for her.

My consultant answered a mobile phone call from his son during my first appointment (in the middle of a quite involved conversation about surgery) and proceeded to have an argument about who was buying some pasta for dinner.

I stifled my laughter and felt glad it's not just me that finds their teenagers really annoying at times. People are human and I'm sure the other people in the meeting understood.

Give over!!

I would be fuming too. A 17 year old should know that you can't interupt a meeting for the cinema, even if it means you get the message too late to transfer the money. Either her friends wait for her or she misses out.

That said I suppose if it hasn't come up yet then I can imagine my dd doing the same. So I think a firm chat setting boundaries is needed.

I really dont see any issue here unless she makes a habit of this and does it a lot.

Can't say I would be annoyed about a call to switchboard🤷🏻‍♀️I mean if they had pulled you from a meeting/something important then yes but not just for calling. She needed the money to go asap by the sound of things.

I think you have answered your own question....if she waited for you to see the message she would have missed the film. Is it that big a deal? I worked for some large charities and hospitals and couldnt care less if my kids had rung the switchboard asking to speak to me....is there some reason she shouldnt ring? is your company really tight arsed over the switchboard? seems weird if they are. At 17 she should be doing her own thing anyway, doesnt your DD have access to some money? Saturday job or similar? Im not that young but I was working in a hairdressers as a shampoo girl at 15 and always had my own money...as did my kids from 16..... sounds like your daughter needs a bit more independence.

Oppsss just seen the rest of the thread🤦🏻‍♀️Yes I would be annoyed as I would think it was an emergency if put through to the meeting room.

Did I miss something? why should the daughter know mum was in a meeting? and really you would have a strict dressing down of a girl all but an adult? I certainly was in senior management but my kids could always contact me.

Remind her the rules. But she only get one pass.

They no longer need as many chimney sweeps.

lots of teens get allowances because there are fuck all jobs available to them now.

yes, I was living in a flat share at 17, working, doing my degree as well.

completely fucking irrelevant to life NOW.

@Snowisallaround how much allowance does she get? What does it need to cover?

im surprised she didn't have enough saved to cover the cinema until you paid her allowance. Does she save for something she really wants (item of clothing/trainers/whatever).??

id have been more annoyed about that, than her calling the switchboard, but maybe that's an age thing! No mobiles when I was a teen, so it was always the switchboard.

Don't quite understand the drama and over reaction. She used her initiative because she couldn't get hold of you. Maybe her wanting to go the cinema was more of a "big deal" than give it credit? She's 17, wants to go out with her mates. Maybe talk to her about boundaries & calling you at work. Set an allowance or better still, she could get a job! I'd rather my daughter (I have two, but older than 17) called me than went without telling me her plans at that age!

I am so confused as to why calling switchboard is such a big deal and would cause someone to be “fuming”. 🤔

I don’t see a problem . She needed you . She called ?