To be fuming with DD

[Snowisallaround]

For ringing the switchboard to speak to me while I was at work today!! To ask if she could go to the cinema with her friends this afternoon! She’s 17 if that makes any difference. She did try to ring and text my mobile but I was in a meeting! I just feel she should have waited for me to see her message or missed call instead of calling the switchboard in an effort to reach me

How did that go?

Furious means ‘extremely angry’ or ‘full of anger or energy; violent or intense’. That isn’t ‘my’ furious, that’s the definition of the word. It’s how I, the OP (who did, indeed, require several hours to calm down) and other posters have used the word. As it’s what it means.

If you would be extremely angry about this, then I consider that a disproportionate reaction. If you wouldn’t, then you wouldn’t be furious.

There is a certain irony in complaining so ungrammatically that parents prioritise their children's education over making them go out to work.

🤣🤣🤣

no it wasn’t urgent, she could have waited for me to see her message/missed call fgs

Why did you ask if you were being unreasonable if you are wholly unable to accept YABU?

The majority think you’re in the wrong. You can keep arguing with people, but that’s not going to change.

Did you not admit if she had waited for you to see the messages she would've missed the film??

And missed the cinema because of your mistake. To her it was urgent.

What's amusing is that this is AIBU. You have been overwhelmingly told that yes, yabu. And yet.... not a single comment madde had had any impact on your thinking. I love.how you have jumped with enthusiasm on the ONE poster who seems to think it's her responsibility to check that you have paid her. Hahahaha.

Your poor dd. She made a mistake, after you made one first, and she's now going to be getting a whole lecture etc etc .

Also find it weird that she had zero access to any other funds. Suggests either you control purse strings v v rightly and/or that she has not learnt anything about money.

Why are you so angry about this? No it wasn't the smartest thing she's done but tell her not to do it again unless in a proper emergency because you should not be disturbed in important meetings and leave it at that.

I would be laughing about this not fuming. Yes is annoying she interrupted an important meeting to ask for cinema money, it's the first time she's done it, she obviously wasn't expecting you to be in such an important meeting, she didn't think properly, tell her not to do it again and move on.

I just don't understand why you're so angry! You said you weren't embarrassed so what is there to be angry about? If she made a habit of doing it I could understand more but it's her first and probably last time.

But you have already previously stated that if she had waited any longer then she would not have been able to go, therefore her request was time sensitive which makes it urgent.

Urgent/Important/emergency are not the same thing but you seem to be treating urgent to exclusively mean it is important/emergency whereas your DD used it (correctly) to mean "this is a time sensitive request so I can't wait an indefinite amount of time for an answer, even though the question is not earthshattering in itself"

Also you haven't stated how long she had already waited - if she called/text your mobile within the space of a couple of minutes and then immediately called your office then I could understand being a bit annoyed (but not furious) at her lack of patience but for all we know she messaged, waited 30 minutes, called your mobile, waited another 30 minutes and then finally called the office because she couldn't wait another 30 minutes for you to get back to her an hour and a half after her initial message.

OP, you’re acting like a teenager to say you’re fuming with your daughter for making a misjudgment. What an overreaction.
She’s 17 and I’m assuming given that she needs money from you for the cinema, doesn’t have a job. How is she supposed to know what is and isn’t an acceptable reason to reach you at work if you’ve never discussed it?
Things like this really bother me. No harm was done, it’s absolutely unnecessary for you to be angry with your daughter. It’s this kind of thing that makes teenagers hesitant to communicate with parents at all.

So you wanted her to miss out on seeing her friends because you didn't hold up your end (ie allowance given on X day)? Are you resentful she's not working? It's she being lazy around the house?

It’s pointless arguing with posters and trying to convince them that YANBU. The majority don’t agree, basically.

FWIW, your DD was cheeky to ask to be put through to your meeting, but it was a one-off from what you’ve said on here and you had forgotten to transfer the money to her, so you did create the situation which led to her calling you.

it really is an overreaction to be ‘fuming’, you would have got a different response if you’d said that you were simply annoyed about it.

Hopefully, you’ve calmed down now and had a conversation with your DD about what are acceptable reasons to disturb you in a meeting at work. And if you set up a Direct Debit, it will prevent this particular scenario from arising again.

OP is sounding more and more like a stroppy teenager the more this goes on.

How very DARE you @BatshitBanshee?

She is the BIG CHEESE for UK & Ireland PR!
An irony I'm still chortling about, pages later ... given that it's her own comms failure that has caused this entire non-issue.

Seems to me you're more annoyed at having to take the call at work in a meeting as if it has shown you up as in everything at home is not under control.

Seems so ridiculously excessive to be fuming over this, in future, leave so money at home or give your DD an allowance.

But you have told us it would have been too late by then, fgs. It wasn't an emergency, but it was urgent. Given that taking the call didn't embarrass you, didn't endanger your job, and didn't derail the meeting, I'd say that she made the right judgment about weighing up the degree of urgency versus any downsides involved in interrupting you.

Nor did you, to be fair.

Fish, Frying. Bigger. Priorities. Life's too short to be fuming about such things.

Wow strange reaction. I'm a nurse, often incredibly busy but if I'm not home and my child needs to ask me something that's absolutely fine. If I can't talk I would phone them back. No issue with colleagues and their children either. Your definition of an emergency might differ to theirs.

Why does it matter? Think you are completely overreacting.

What will you do if she does something actually wrong?

I'm glad you are not my boss (assuming that you being head of department means you manage people and it's not just a department of one), you seem very inflexible.

Just read it's because you forgot to transfer her allowance, your inefficiency caused all this?

Take responsibility for your actions!

Unfortunately to a 17 yr old was probably an emergency having to let friends know if she could go ! Maybe it will teach her to save some allowance for an emergency next time even my 12yr keeps 20 in her account just incase. ! Hope you have set up the Standing order now.