To think this is hell?

[TimeAtTheBar]

I have posted variously about my job, sorry. This is a bit of a vent and I am taking steps.

I worked Friday 17:00-03:00 (10hrs)
Yesterday 15;00-03:00 (12hrs)
Today 12:00-23:00 (11hrs)
Tomorrow 08:00/;18;00 (10hrs)
Tuesdsy 09:00-17;00 (8hrs)
Weds 12:00-23:00 (11hrs)
thirsday 09:00:18:00( 9hrs)

I’ve had about four hours sleep and I feel sick at the thought of my week. This is not unusual but I don’t often do both 3am finishes which has compounded it. I honestly feel like walking out right now but obvs can’t do that.

I think I’m just after a bit of sympathy, or maybe the wisdom of MN will tell me to suck it up? I’m in bed still, slightly shaky at the thought of getting up and in the shower. I also have a million things to do today, Sunday and Monday are stock and orders so not a gentle day. I earn £10.45 an hour in case anyone wonders.

Finger crossed OP but if it’s store or deputy manager role, and it’s an 8 till 8 or 10pm place or a 24 place your shifts will not be much different to what you are on now.

Oh reading your post makes my heart break, because three years ago, this was me. 80 hour weeks, living off caffeine and my husband and kids forcing me to eat a slice of toast with a cup of tea, which most of the told I fell asleep holding. Luckily major surgery stopped me killing myself, not through suicide, although I thought about it often, but I was convinced I would drop dead. Telling you to quit is easy, but just wanting to send you a virtual hug and say it won’t get better, because the more function on the cut wage budget, the lower they will take it. Take care of yourself 💞

£742pw...not bad.

If you can't manage on 90k there's no hope. Your kids at uni can get jobs to help support themselves during holidays. Even I, on far far less than that, had a nearly new car every 2 years. You are wasting money somewhere, no doubt about it.

It really irks me that so many employers make it a condition of employment that the staff member signs the working time directive waiver. What's the point in it being law when employers can basically force you to sign it and opt out?

OP, to add, are you an employee at a hotel in Norfolk by any chance. I was until a few weeks ago and it nearly broke me, hence username.

I don't often respond to mumsnet posts... I'm a lurker!

I felt your post. Every single bit of it and unless people have been there they just won't get it. This was me 18m ago. I actually think you might work for the company I left from a few of the things you said. Its unbelievable until you're not doing it, how much those shifts affect your life. There is better out there OP and I hope you see the light at the end of the tunnel ✨️ Fingers crossed your job offer pans out but if it doesn't there's other jobs out there that won't affect your life so much. Good luck OP and of you're feeling suicidal again I really hope there's someone you will reach out to.

This isnt acceptable. The length of times between shifts is too short and seventy hour weeks even with shorter weeks following are not good for you. Mixing days and nights are also a no no....messes up your internal clock. You say you had to sign a waiver regarding the hours you work to get the job....sounds like totally unreasonable treatment. Join a union and take advice. Unison is a good union, I was a member when I was nursing. Alternatively, look for a job within hospitality if that is what you enjoy, but with regular shifts, reception desk or similar.

Leave.
Just go.

The kids will manage.
Students just do !
They don't have to pay back loans until they earn good salaries.

The partner will be able to focus on only his job...and be much happier about it all.
You get a break & see how it goes whilst thinking about where you go next, if anywhere !

90k is a lot ! If it's really a problem, at least you'll only have ONE problem
Instead of loads of intertwining problems & being too tired to even think it out properly.

It's actually a real no brainer this.
( Unless you've bought a luxury castle & are trying to live some impossible dream....)

..

That’s without having to top up Uni costs as well.

What uni costs are you topping up? My DS went to uni, paid everything out of his student finance and worked part-time when he was home in the holidays. I certainly didn't have the money to fund him.

@TimeAtTheBar
My ex husband worked like this for years, always exhausted. He had two strokes last year. Do not do it to you or your family.
Employers do not give a shit about you, the will step over your body to welcome the next person into your post.

Their DC will be entitled to less student finance because of their parents’ earnings. 60k puts them at the minimum (or very close to) loan amount. This is because parents with that sort of income are expected to pay towards their DC’s costs. Students who are financially supported at uni by their parents are less likely to drop out than those who aren’t.

The loans are means tested on your parents' income so OPs kids won't be getting a full loan.

If your parents earn over a certain amount, the child only qualifies for the minimum maintenance loan-this often doesn’t even cover accommodation, let alone food or travel. This doesn’t take into account how many other children you have-you could have one in childcare or another two at university-you are expected to top them up £4250 a year each, no matter what.

@TimeAtTheBar This sounds like hell. Do you work for Caffè Nero by any chance? They are fuckers and this sounds exactly like them tbh. I worked there for years I finally left after getting attacked by one of my colleagues and the manager and area manager saying they would sort it out after the seasonal rush as they didn't want to lose trade. For what it's worth I was a manager and he couldn't even cash up but apparently they would rather lose me then admit something bad (it was caught on cctv) had actually happen and deal with it.
My advice run & don't look back, it's not worth your health both physically & mentally.

You are supposed to have 11 hours between shifts legally as a minimum. You shouldn’t be finishing at 3am and starting again at 12.

Be gentle with yourself.
Easier said than done, but please find a new job because this will ruin you.

This! You are being exploited unless you have asked for extra hours?

Why are you still saying OP has one child? It’s a bit unrealistic to expect children to stop being financially dependent the moment they’ve taken their A levels.

Although I do agree with the gist of the rest of what you’re saying stressful.

As far as I can tell the company have not said that if she doesn’t work more than contracted - she’s sacked.

They ask. She accepts. She might not want to but she accepts, and if she didn’t accept - They may well be pissed off. But not her problem. She has them over a barrel

Did the op ever clarify whether all her calculations were based on £90k income or £60k?

Yes all of our household bills and spending is based on DHs £60k and my £27k. His overtime is only ever seen as an extra and not factored into any other budgets.

Also, to clarify, the hours I posted in my OP ARE my contracted hours. Friday and Saturday were part of last weeks hours, our week runs Sun-Sat. This isn’t overtime. I am contracted for 48hrs.

I’ve applied for another couple of jobs today. Oh, and I called in sick this morning. I’m having today and tomorrow off.

So your bills and mortgage and all your many outgoings listed upthread are based on the £60k salary and not the £90k that you originally said but is actually not guaranteed. Correct?

So at the moment - given he is bringing home £90k - then you can easily afford to hand on your notice now and look for an alternative.

you will say no