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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is hell?

333 replies

TimeAtTheBar · 14/08/2022 09:27

I have posted variously about my job, sorry. This is a bit of a vent and I am taking steps.

I worked Friday 17:00-03:00 (10hrs)
Yesterday 15;00-03:00 (12hrs)
Today 12:00-23:00 (11hrs)
Tomorrow 08:00/;18;00 (10hrs)
Tuesdsy 09:00-17;00 (8hrs)
Weds 12:00-23:00 (11hrs)
thirsday 09:00:18:00( 9hrs)

I’ve had about four hours sleep and I feel sick at the thought of my week. This is not unusual but I don’t often do both 3am finishes which has compounded it. I honestly feel like walking out right now but obvs can’t do that.

I think I’m just after a bit of sympathy, or maybe the wisdom of MN will tell me to suck it up? I’m in bed still, slightly shaky at the thought of getting up and in the shower. I also have a million things to do today, Sunday and Monday are stock and orders so not a gentle day. I earn £10.45 an hour in case anyone wonders.

OP posts:
Givenitarest · 15/08/2022 11:33

Can I just say that this glut of jobs working in shops/hospitality are mainly getting hoovered up by those under the age of 23. They're not as plentiful for anyone over 40 (obvious exceptions for some especially those with experience that can basically manage a cafe/bar not just serve)

I lost my admin job last year and did as many MN-ers advise - went round shops answering adverts in the window, applied to all the supermarkets - minimum wage jobs that are 'crying out' for staff. Well I didn't get any interviews with the supermarkets and when I got a job waitressing I was 'let go' as soon as the school holidays started because I was more expensive than all the school kids and students that were suddenly available. £6.83 per hour (18-20 yrs) vs £9.50 (23+)???

Also, so many supermarket jobs are for 6/8/10/12 hour contracts - what's the problem with that you ask? Surely if you apply to 3 of those you can build up a week's worth of hours? No. Because they mostly demand that you have the flexibility to work those hours on any day they require including weekends which make them impossible to plan and work round with other jobs requiring the same employee flexibility.

And bloody hell Justasking, where does a pot washer get paid £12 an hour?? Is that in London? So jealous!

Sorry to hijack OP - just wanted to give another perspective to some MN-ers who might not fully understand the job situation out there. Good luck with either renegotiating your terms and conditions or finding other work. You're a hospitality professional so I'm sure you'll be more in demand than I was in that field.

SleeplessInEngland · 15/08/2022 11:36

Sounds shit, but I can only conclude YABU because you're letting this situation happen when you don't need to. Your husband earns enough for you to take your time looking for another job and he's begging you to take it easy.

GrowlingManchego · 15/08/2022 11:46

Givenitarest · 15/08/2022 11:33

Can I just say that this glut of jobs working in shops/hospitality are mainly getting hoovered up by those under the age of 23. They're not as plentiful for anyone over 40 (obvious exceptions for some especially those with experience that can basically manage a cafe/bar not just serve)

I lost my admin job last year and did as many MN-ers advise - went round shops answering adverts in the window, applied to all the supermarkets - minimum wage jobs that are 'crying out' for staff. Well I didn't get any interviews with the supermarkets and when I got a job waitressing I was 'let go' as soon as the school holidays started because I was more expensive than all the school kids and students that were suddenly available. £6.83 per hour (18-20 yrs) vs £9.50 (23+)???

Also, so many supermarket jobs are for 6/8/10/12 hour contracts - what's the problem with that you ask? Surely if you apply to 3 of those you can build up a week's worth of hours? No. Because they mostly demand that you have the flexibility to work those hours on any day they require including weekends which make them impossible to plan and work round with other jobs requiring the same employee flexibility.

And bloody hell Justasking, where does a pot washer get paid £12 an hour?? Is that in London? So jealous!

Sorry to hijack OP - just wanted to give another perspective to some MN-ers who might not fully understand the job situation out there. Good luck with either renegotiating your terms and conditions or finding other work. You're a hospitality professional so I'm sure you'll be more in demand than I was in that field.

Good post, this is exactly the situation where I live too. There are similar limitations around farm jobs bringing in the harvest. Not as accessible as you’d think. Drives me crazy when people say there are loads of jobs / Brit’s too lazy!

Original poster
TimeAtTheBar · 15/08/2022 12:41

We’ll I’ve just been contacted for a retail manager job by a company who’ve seen my CV online…

Less money pm but a higher hourly rate (40hr week). Plus commission. This could be my way out.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 15/08/2022 12:51

TimeAtTheBar · 15/08/2022 12:41

We’ll I’ve just been contacted for a retail manager job by a company who’ve seen my CV online…

Less money pm but a higher hourly rate (40hr week). Plus commission. This could be my way out.

That's wonderful news. They've sought you out so stand your ground at interview be a lion rather than a 🐭 hospitality needs to modernise working practices.

When DS went to Leeds university he had worked for a pub restaurant chain for three years. Applied to weather spoons. Told them the hours he could do to work around lectures they said fine. His lectures studio work were at 9am . Within a week he was working 6pm getting back to halls at 4am. He was wrecked in a month so quit

unname · 15/08/2022 12:51

SleeplessInEngland · 15/08/2022 11:36

Sounds shit, but I can only conclude YABU because you're letting this situation happen when you don't need to. Your husband earns enough for you to take your time looking for another job and he's begging you to take it easy.

He wants OP to get another job. He’s not telling her to quit her job with no safety net or replacement income.

He doesn’t “earn enough”. He’s getting extra right now which could disappear at any time.

justasking111 · 15/08/2022 12:56

@Givenitarest my sons did farm work a school mate was a farmers son. Summer holidays they brought in the hay and straw loaded up till 2am. They wore duct tape on their hands to prevent cuts, cost me in sunscreen. One of them grabbed my fake tan that was a funny result an orange glow offset by river lines where their sweat had neutralised it. They really enjoyed it though

mamabear715 · 15/08/2022 15:09

Great news OP, Good Luck! :-)

Whippetquick · 15/08/2022 16:36

Good for you OP I hope it works out life's too short, get your life back

DoubleGauze · 15/08/2022 16:58

Good luck op. Let us know how it all goes.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 15/08/2022 17:01

TimeAtTheBar · 15/08/2022 12:41

We’ll I’ve just been contacted for a retail manager job by a company who’ve seen my CV online…

Less money pm but a higher hourly rate (40hr week). Plus commission. This could be my way out.

That's fab news - best of luck!

SommerTen · 15/08/2022 17:59

Take your notice period as sick leave or annual leave...

GrowlingManchego · 15/08/2022 18:06

TimeAtTheBar · 15/08/2022 12:41

We’ll I’ve just been contacted for a retail manager job by a company who’ve seen my CV online…

Less money pm but a higher hourly rate (40hr week). Plus commission. This could be my way out.

Fantastic, well done 💐 I’d book leave or go sick to ensure you have enough energy to give your best at the interview. Good luck 🍀

NiqueNique · 15/08/2022 18:12

Ah that’s great, fingers crossed for you!

Cj19877 · 15/08/2022 18:16

Fingers crossed OP! If no luck there, I'm happy to give you some (obv free) CV guidance if you're struggling to find work, I'm a professional CV writer for context.

wellstopdoingitthen · 15/08/2022 18:18

TimeAtTheBar · 15/08/2022 12:41

We’ll I’ve just been contacted for a retail manager job by a company who’ve seen my CV online…

Less money pm but a higher hourly rate (40hr week). Plus commission. This could be my way out.

Fingers crossed for you.

Maryminx · 15/08/2022 18:19

Prioritise your sleep.
I did similar hours to u a long time back . My now ex husband was earning a fortune, unbeknown to me!! So I was working myself in to the ground.
you say your husband is earring a good salary, how about downsizing??
your health is so important . Yes, u needs funds to help the kids at Uni
let them get a small part time job. It will be good for their self esteem,and hopefully your family will appreciate u. Best wishes

pinkpantherpink · 15/08/2022 18:24

Time of year doesnt help I guess. Heat will be affecting you too. Not much to add but prioritise your winding down and getting sleep. Keep hydrated x

Maybe look for another job x

Mandyjack · 15/08/2022 18:38

That's not great pay for unsociable hours
Do you ever get a day off?

Grimed · 15/08/2022 18:39

Don't you have to agree to working shifts less than 11 hrs apart? I do shift work and management have to ask me if they want me to do a late shift then an early one.

Maryminx · 15/08/2022 18:45

U do not need a 4. bedroom house!
are u worried about being seen in a non prestigious house??
If kids are off toUni u could still get a two bed house in reasonable area.
bunk beds for them
your husband should be begging u to stop this work pattern.

Pinkframes · 15/08/2022 18:50

Good luck op! My fingers are crossed for you

NumberTheory · 15/08/2022 18:57

Maryminx · 15/08/2022 18:45

U do not need a 4. bedroom house!
are u worried about being seen in a non prestigious house??
If kids are off toUni u could still get a two bed house in reasonable area.
bunk beds for them
your husband should be begging u to stop this work pattern.

OP didn’t say anything about needing a prestigious house. She said they needed a four bedroom as they have 3 kids. 2 at Uni “soon” (so still at home now) and an 11 yr old. They presumably also really want to stay reasonably close to 11 yr old’s school and would highly prefer uni aged kids felt welcome at home and wanted to spend time there when they aren’t at uni. Which is normal and the sort of thing that many parents sacrifice for. OP’s company are treating her appallingly and she’s recognised she needs to find something else. And her DH has been pushing for her to find different work, which OP is trying to do.

All this is in OP’s comments. WTF with all these critical posts aimed at a woman who has found herself in a poor situation, recognized it and is working on fixing it?

HB8 · 15/08/2022 18:58

Yep employers I bet are breaking law

Scepticalwotsits · 15/08/2022 19:09

Not read everything but over paying the mortgage, and having 200-250 each per month in personal spending money is something you can cut back on.

your children work and are at uni and living with you so they should be paying a small amount of board to cover for some of the food. Right there you probably have about 1k back in your pocket.

the shift patterns are crazy when I worked supermarket retail management it was short on management staff you end up with crazy hours because if you don’t the whole place closes up, you don’t hit targets and your out the door.

and when you back varying days off and get a back to back week it’s absolutely brutal.

but it seems like between you, you are not willing to cut back. You say gas and electric has gone up to 400, is that your direct debit or actual usage as it’s two different things.