Over Dh football today?

[Twinklinlight]

NC as this could be outing. I'm just beyond fed up and wanted to see if it's me that needs to suck it up or not.

Backstory: 2 dc under 5. Youngest has had a vomiting bug for last 24 hours. Thursday night I had 3/4 hours sleep due to dhs snoring and eventually gave up and slept on sofa. Then went to work all day yesterday.
Last night slept downstairs with ill dc who was in his inflatable bed (plastic so easy sick clean up) again had about 3 hours sleep.
This morning im having to complete orders for my side business. Dh reminded me he has football this morning so I won't have very long. I told him he was unreasonable for wanting to go when I feel dead on my feet and have actual work for paying customers to complete.
he replied he was leaving before 11 so I had until then, or he would send the kids upstairs.
I'm honestly fed up of football. He's the manager of a local men's team, it's just grassroots. It takes over so much of our life and I feel our family comes second every single time. He thinks this is my problem. I only see me holding down my day job, working an extra side hustle and also simultaneously being the only child care we have. Is this me?

@Discovereads

Nah

When people say when they start school they mean when they start school.

Presumably the ops oh knew when his kid would start school?
Maybe not though eh?

You're a man then

Why is this so frequently levelled at posters who express an alternative viewpoint?

So I’m another situation if he asks her not go somewhere even though he is staying with the children and creates a stalemate it means she’s not allowed to leave the house?

that’s not very healthy, is it?

It’s used as a pejorative, which is bad enough, but it’s also tactically deployed to seek to invalid the views of another and when the person doesn’t have a real answer to a point. Lazy.

Which means nothing unless you are thinking the same thing I am by the words “when they start school” and obviously we are not, nor do many of my friends who would say “I plan to return to work when the youngest starts school” and they were always referring to when their child is 5 in my experience.

I would say that there is an element of matriarchy as well as patriarchy at play here. Both toxic dynamics are at play in making parents today feel like they must sacrifice all of their lives in order to spent every waking moment when they are not working with their children.

Paid work > hobby.

Would the football session have gone ahead if he was ill? Does he not have a deputy?

He needs to do half of the overnights.

I was not seeking to invalidate*, merely to understand the vociferous nature of the loftily-delivered viewpoint you held, that being that the woman was clearly incorrect here. A common theme in your posts.

Been going through my posts have you? Ok.

Perhaps if a slight majority of my posts on AIBU are that the person posting is being unreasonable, that could be because A: they need to ask and B: it’s almost entirely women asking the question.

Could be that.

Child could still be 4 and have started school last September (if in England)

@StreetwiseHercules

Are you completely ignoring the actual context of the situation on purpose?

Could be.