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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to smack the tw@t who made a very loud comment about my weight as i walked past him in a restaurant???

148 replies

smeeinit · 20/01/2008 18:26

well am i???

because i really could have smacked the ignorant fuck witted poor excuse of a human being! as he made a comment about me being fat as i walked past him in a restaurant,his wife and small children were sitting with him.....what a great example hes setting for them

ok im overweight,im overweight because i have an eating disorder which ive battled with for 20 years.....for all he knew i could be overweight due to illness....what a total prick!

OP posts:
mumbear · 21/01/2008 20:02

Both!!!!!!!!!

HAPPYMUMOF5 · 21/01/2008 20:07

AnnemayesR YOU WERE 12 ON YOUR WEDDING DAY!! Well thats a whole new thread!!!!

Hecate · 21/01/2008 20:10

Yes. And because I don't want anyone to look at my pic and realise they know me.

AnneMayesR · 21/01/2008 20:14

Yeah yeah yeah. SIZE 12 that is.

me23 · 21/01/2008 20:33

a few months ago the shopkeeker in my local shop stated 'you're getting fat'' I couldn't believe what he said thought i was hearing things so I said ''what'' and he said it again! I was so flustered and in shock I just said ''yes'' and got out of there sharpish.

shatteredmumsrus · 21/01/2008 20:50

what an ignorant prick! Im not overweight but i am quite short and one day i was walking across a carpark with my 7yo son and a man waved me across the road and said hurry up shortarse and laughed. I just smirked cause my son was with me. It was a bit rude though I thought.My son was quite upset about it and said he was nasty saying that to his mommy,bless. Some people just dont care

Janni · 21/01/2008 21:16

There are people who actually believe they're pointing out something you perhaps were not aware of - my mum falls into this category.

I think the best approach to such personal comments is to adopt a quiet, serious voice and tell them they're being very insulting and hurtful. If they continue after that, rather than apologise and look sheepish you can bet your bottom dollar that they're psychologically disordered in some way.

lucyellensmum · 21/01/2008 21:36

I was walking back up the hill to uni one day, it is a very steep hill and my friend and i were taking it slowly on account of a rather extended pub lunch (oh, those were the days!) - some idiot in his van shouted out his window - "move your arse up that hill, you fat slag"!! I guess im about a size 18 - that comment has stayed with me though . Probably because he was going past in his van and i didnt get the opportunity to fill his stupid ignorant white van mans face with my fist!

moljam · 21/01/2008 21:39

im very small and people think its ok to comment on my weight,people that think its rude to comment on more curvey figure think its ok to say things about not so curvey people!makes me .just let people be!

lucyellensmum · 21/01/2008 21:40

I do have to admit, much to my embarrasment, many years ago, commiting the cardinal sisterhood sin. I told my friend that she had put on weight, i honestly meant it in a nice way, it genuinely suited her and she could have been no more than a 14 at the very most - she didnt speak to me for two years

Original poster
smeeinit · 22/01/2008 11:20

this thread has made me feel better knowing thats its not just me.!

OP posts:
ROSEgarden · 22/01/2008 12:36

i dont understand why people mainly stupid f*cking idiotic blokes feel the need to shout abuse at someone passing them, minding their own business????totally pathetic...if i see someone i know and theyve lost weight/look nice etc , i make sure i mention it...if theyve put on weight(noticibly) i make sure i mention something nice about them..outfit/hair/make up etc...i know how it feels so i like to compliment, i never put down!

contentiouscat · 22/01/2008 12:47

These people are idiots...my dh would get a severe talking to if he ever said anything like this about someone. "I can lose the weight but you will still be a moron/ugly" is my mantra

I had to LOL at

"I bet he has a lovely time on top of his miserable boney lettuce eating wife."

pukkapatch · 22/01/2008 12:52

when i was fat, i was at a new years eve party once. most of the people there were a bit younger than us, or at least, looked less as if they had family responsibilities, and all wore less clothes than myself andmy friends. but the music was good, the food ok, and we had fun dancing.
so we were walking past something, andsomeone said to someone else, 'let the ladies go first' and thissomeone else apparently looked at me, and said # what ladies?'
dsis was furious on my behalf. i dont rememebr noticing.
now i am thinner, i get them, same sort of blokes, trying to chat me up . great fun ignoring them.

anorak · 22/01/2008 13:07

I don't see how calling his wife a miserable bony lettuce eater is any better than insulting smeeinit really. The only difference is that his wife can't hear you.

But it will make you feel better and that's important . I liked frecklyspeckly's way of dealing with the rude customer. These people need to be brought to account in some way and that solution was perfect.

All too often they get away with it because the insulted party is too upset/embarrassed/caught off guard to think of the right response quickly enough.

'That's rude and hurtful' might be a good reply - and doesn't provide any fuel for an even more abusive answer back.

I wouldn't be surprised if the wife of the man in the restaurant is the kind of woman who posts on mumsnet about her rude abusive husband hurting her feelings with remarks about her weight - there's a lot of it about, sadly.

contentiouscat · 22/01/2008 13:18

I can remember being in a club once and seeing someone I thought I knew, he was leaning against the bar looking in my direction so I looked at him, realised that I didnt "actually" know him and looked away again.

He said "dont flatter yourself love" in a really nasty tone.

He was just a balding skinny bloke but I think he was a actor (but one of those you see in things but dont actually know who he is)

The point is anorak we all make witty cutting remarks about other people at some time but generally not in public and with the intention of hurting the other person - I would feel sorry for people who feel the need to make themselves feel better by ridiculing others if they werent so obnoxious. Yes I am sure the bony wife had to put up with his insensitivity too.

Original poster
smeeinit · 22/01/2008 13:20

CAN I JUST ADD THAT THE BONY WIFE DID ACTUALLY LAUGH AT WANKY MANS COMMENT......

OP posts:
Original poster
smeeinit · 22/01/2008 13:21

oh caps on.....didnt mean to shout!!!

OP posts:
Iklboo · 22/01/2008 13:22

Would have said rather loudly "i may be fat mate but I can diet. You'll always be a pathetic c*nt with an ugly wife and in-bred kids"

anorak · 22/01/2008 13:25

Ah well then that's different, if she laughed!

And I hate that 'don't flatter yourself' thing too - I am friendly and smile at everyone and there will always be one like the guy you describe contentiouscat. Makes you feel like giving up smiling.

ROSEgarden · 22/01/2008 13:40

contensious cat...id have went over and said actually i thought i knew you, but on clsoer inspection i dont, and im so very glad about that, you baldy, nob head!

contentiouscat · 22/01/2008 13:45

"THE BONY WIFE DID ACTUALLY LAUGH AT WANKY MANS COMMENT"

So shes a moron too as well as a skinny lettuce muncher

moljam · 22/01/2008 13:50

so commenting on someone being 'larger' is not ok(i agree defiantly isnt ok) but saying his wife is 'skinny lettuce muncher' and 'bony wife'is ok?

AnneMayesR · 22/01/2008 13:53

I just can't imagine wanting to hurt someone like this!! Why humiliate a complete stranger in public? Why the comments/jibes about people's looks?

Some people are so toxic. They just draw negative energy back to themselves.

EHM · 22/01/2008 14:01

smeeinit for you & agree with wisteria for kids for having such a sorry excuse for a dad.