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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To physically restrain DD6

178 replies

Earringsallstuck · 12/08/2022 18:01

I'm horrified to have typed that.

She had her ears pierced last month and one of them is infected. It's getting worse and she won't let me clean it, just screams hysterically and flails so I can't get at her.

It doesn't hurt; she has told me so. But she's scared to touch it herself or have me touch it.

I am using antiseptic spray on it which is hopefully helping, but it's starting to look really grim.

WIBU to physically restrain her so that her dad can clean her ear? And if not, what the hell should I do? She's a very sensitive child and I don't want to lose her trust but we have to do something soon.

And for anyone who says that we should never have got her ears pierced, I certainly did it against my better judgement and am now thoroughly regretting it.

OP posts:
IvyPlant · 12/08/2022 18:05

If it doesn't hurt her, can you try and clean it when she's sleeping? A cotton bud and some antiseptic solution?

I remember having my ears pierced at around 10 years old and they became infected. I had to remove the studs in the end as my lymph nodes in my neck were swollen. Does she have a temperature or anything?

IglesiasPiggl · 12/08/2022 18:06

Could you attempt it once she's asleep? My DS once had a verruca that he refused to let me near, so the sleeping trick really worked.

Findahouse21 · 12/08/2022 18:07

I would give her some choices within a limit about how to resolve it. Either she cleans, it, you do or one of you removes the earrings.

Original poster
Earringsallstuck · 12/08/2022 18:10

We tried the sleeping trick but she woke up. Will try again tonight.

We've given her choices and her only response is to cry and hide.

OP posts:
Original poster
Earringsallstuck · 12/08/2022 18:17

She also has a fever and has been unwell since yesterday (lethargic, sore throat, headache, no appetite) which my husband thinks might be linked to it.

OP posts:
PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 18:18

And this is why you don't get young children's ears pierced

cestlavielife · 12/08/2022 18:18

Who wanted them pierrced? If she did and you went with that then tell her they are being removed unless she cooperates
If you decided then take them out
And treat the infection
Either way get her seen by practice nurse or email a pic maybe she needs antibiotics
Sepsis risk

Completelyovernonsense · 12/08/2022 18:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at poster's request

cestlavielife · 12/08/2022 18:19

www.nhs.uk/conditions/infected-piercings/

ImEasyLikeSundayMorning · 12/08/2022 18:19

PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 18:18

And this is why you don't get young children's ears pierced

What was the point of that? Really?

Pinkflipflop85 · 12/08/2022 18:20

Earringsallstuck · 12/08/2022 18:17

She also has a fever and has been unwell since yesterday (lethargic, sore throat, headache, no appetite) which my husband thinks might be linked to it.

DH is right in his thinking.

00100001 · 12/08/2022 18:20

Just give her the ultimatum.

Cleaned now or removed now.

Her choice.

IglesiasPiggl · 12/08/2022 18:20

PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 18:18

And this is why you don't get young children's ears pierced

Yeah, did you see that bit in the OP, or did you just come on to have a totally unnecessary pop at her? She has already said it was a wrong decision, what use is your little slap on the wrist?

category12 · 12/08/2022 18:21

Since she's not well with it, I'd be getting her an appointment to see the nurse practitioner or similar.

She'll probably behave better for a professional, you'll get it properly cleaned and be able to maintain from there. And if she needs antibiotics she'll get them.

Get her an appointment.

ChubbyCaterpillar · 12/08/2022 18:21

Since she has a fever she needs to be seen by a GP ASAP. And you might be surprised by her reaction there. She may be more compliant with a doctor. Don't take the piercing out as if it's infected that keeps the infection in.

IvyPlant · 12/08/2022 18:22

If she has a temperature, make an appointment with your GP asap and if she in unable to be seen promptly, call 111. Your best bet is to remove the earring. I would give some Calpol and try some ice on it beforehand. I would have no qualms about holding her arms down if needs must. Sorry, but infections can get worse quickly.

GeekyThings · 12/08/2022 18:22

@Earringsallstuck You need to get her to a doctor if she has a fever, call 111. Don't remove the piercing yourself, it's an open, infected wound, it may need to be professionally removed.

Six year olds are way too young to have their ears pierced, it's harder to do the aftercare and infections can end up being more severe.

Maray1967 · 12/08/2022 18:23

Get the earring out and take her to a walk-in centre. It sounds like it’s infected.
Explain it to her and then do it.
Parents have to hang on to their Dc when they’re getting jabs - how is this different?

liveforsummer · 12/08/2022 18:24

She will probably need anti biotics. Dd had similar at this age and I thought dr wound just give me cream but gave strong oral anti biotics. After fist dose hadn't fully cleared it they offered me a second at which point I took them out but it still took a bit to clear. Dr explained some kids are very sensitive to even hypoallergenic metals and they just never heal.

asimileofsomesmoke · 12/08/2022 18:26

You really really need to go to the GP or A&E now. If she has a fever it could be sepsis.

SpeckofDustUponMySoul · 12/08/2022 18:26

Don't remove the earring!
Definitely get her seen.
And, don't listen to the anti-piercing brigade. She's 6 years, not 6 months.
I hope she feels better soon.

Original poster
Earringsallstuck · 12/08/2022 18:27

GeekyThings · 12/08/2022 18:22

@Earringsallstuck You need to get her to a doctor if she has a fever, call 111. Don't remove the piercing yourself, it's an open, infected wound, it may need to be professionally removed.

Six year olds are way too young to have their ears pierced, it's harder to do the aftercare and infections can end up being more severe.

I don't know how I didn't realise this, though it has become so clear in retrospect. I'm absolutely kicking myself.

OP posts:
Rainbowbaby13 · 12/08/2022 18:27

That happened to me when I was about 5 and the resolution was my dad sitting on me and taking the back out the skin had grown over it

It sounds horrendous and I'm sure at the time the neighbours probably thought I was being murdered but I'm no worse off and still have my ears pierced

Rainbowbaby13 · 12/08/2022 18:28

PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 18:18

And this is why you don't get young children's ears pierced

Wow how unbelievably helpful 🙄🙄

Lavendersummer · 12/08/2022 18:29

Part of being a parent is occasionally doing things to and for your child. Because they have no idea of the possible consequences. And can be irrational.
of course it’s ok. You have her a choice. It didn’t work.