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AIBU?

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Original poster

To physically restrain DD6

178 replies

Earringsallstuck · 12/08/2022 18:01

I'm horrified to have typed that.

She had her ears pierced last month and one of them is infected. It's getting worse and she won't let me clean it, just screams hysterically and flails so I can't get at her.

It doesn't hurt; she has told me so. But she's scared to touch it herself or have me touch it.

I am using antiseptic spray on it which is hopefully helping, but it's starting to look really grim.

WIBU to physically restrain her so that her dad can clean her ear? And if not, what the hell should I do? She's a very sensitive child and I don't want to lose her trust but we have to do something soon.

And for anyone who says that we should never have got her ears pierced, I certainly did it against my better judgement and am now thoroughly regretting it.

OP posts:
NetflixandWill · 12/08/2022 19:16

If it's all reassuring, I recently had an infected lobe piercing which was agonising and swelled up on the heat to the extent that it my lobe was double the width and the front of the earring had almost sunk into my ear Envy

I was freaking out. But the GP at my surgery was SO lovely and I was amazed at how painlessly and swiftly she got it out. I had been dreading anyone touching it let alone the process of someone removing it. So do go to a medical professional - you and she will be so much better when someone trained is dealing with it. Good luck. I know how stressful it is and it must be worse to see your child suffer.

SommerTen · 12/08/2022 19:16

I agree with @Barnybrown

LoveMeForARaisin · 12/08/2022 19:18

Yeah you need to toughen up.

You are the parent. So parent.

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 12/08/2022 19:25

Is DD small enough to wrap in a bath sheet and get DH to hold her tight whilst you clean the ear? My DD is 5 and we needed to use this method when she had a splinter.

Mama1980 · 12/08/2022 19:26

Don't beat yourself up op - you made a mistake and own that. We have all made mistakes. I agree with everyone else, call 111 now as she's lethargic with a fever. Take their advice - infections are something you don't want to mess with.
Once the infection is sorted I would also remove the piercing, I'm assuming your dd wanted it and you gave in? If so this is a valuable lesson and she can always get them repierced when she's older.

luckylavender · 12/08/2022 19:27

PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 18:18

And this is why you don't get young children's ears pierced

This

WhiskerPatrol · 12/08/2022 19:28

Good news OP, ear piercing is reversible. Yes, it was a mistake. Take her to the doctor, take out the earrings, tell her she can get them done again for starting secondary school.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 12/08/2022 19:29

I really wish (well meaning) people would stop recommending that OP cleans it and prods at it even more.

The wound is infected to the point that the DD is unwell with fever and hasn't eaten all day. She needs medical attention, antibiotics and professional care, not home remedies. Salt water on cotton wool won't make any noticeable difference at this point, and using cotton wool on an already open, infected wound is a really bad idea!

WhiskerPatrol · 12/08/2022 19:29

Good news OP, ear piercing is reversible. Yes, it was a mistake. Take her to the doctor, take out the earrings, tell her she can get them done again for starting secondary school.

Dalaidramailama · 12/08/2022 19:33

@sunsetsandsandybeaches

It will make the fastest difference right now whilst she waits for medical assistance. Infact the salt water will clear it up the quickest.

I took my DD at the same age to the GP and the GP absolutely recommended salt water before he was willing to prescribe anything else. My daughters ear was swollen and weeping with puss and salt water cleared it up instantly.

ChagSameachDoreen · 12/08/2022 19:33

Ignore your idiot husband and get her seen by a medical professional.

Barnybrown · 12/08/2022 19:36

NHS advice is absolutely crystal clear - phone 111 or GP , do not remove the piercing.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/infected-piercings/

Itsgettinghotinhre · 12/08/2022 19:36

PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 18:18

And this is why you don't get young children's ears pierced

Just because that's your own personal preference. This is unusual that ear piercing has lead to what sounds like an infection.

Sounds like it needs looking at.

Greenandcabbagelooking · 12/08/2022 19:38

Can you wrap her up in a blanket and cuddle her firmly whilst your DH cleans it up? Then lots of praise and a treat afterwards.

It's not nice for anyone, but neither is needing IV antibiotics.

BadNomad · 12/08/2022 19:41

Don't touch it ffs. Take her to a doctor. She's showing other signs of infection beyond the ear. Don't wait for it to become sepsis or meningitis. Your husband is an idiot.

Barnybrown · 12/08/2022 19:43

BadNomad · 12/08/2022 19:41

Don't touch it ffs. Take her to a doctor. She's showing other signs of infection beyond the ear. Don't wait for it to become sepsis or meningitis. Your husband is an idiot.

This . 100% this.

MoiraCarrington · 12/08/2022 19:50

you need to start being a grown up, you’re her parent, so do the tough parts of parenting instead of hand wringing on the internet

InTheCup · 12/08/2022 19:51

Get to a walk in clinic.

Onlyhuman123 · 12/08/2022 19:52

Hope you've got her some medical attention by now OP?

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 12/08/2022 19:54

Dalaidramailama · 12/08/2022 19:33

@sunsetsandsandybeaches

It will make the fastest difference right now whilst she waits for medical assistance. Infact the salt water will clear it up the quickest.

I took my DD at the same age to the GP and the GP absolutely recommended salt water before he was willing to prescribe anything else. My daughters ear was swollen and weeping with puss and salt water cleared it up instantly.

But this has moved beyond a bit of pus and swelling.

Her DD has a borderline dangerous fever and hasn't eaten all day.

While salt water is fine for a minor infection (and yes, pus is still minor when it comes to piercings), this is no longer a minor infection. Cotton wool should also never be used on open/infected wounds as the fibres can get stuck in the opening and cause further infection.

dehloh · 12/08/2022 19:54

@00100001

Just give her the ultimatum.

Cleaned now or removed now.

Her choice.

There is no choice to make. No ultimatum.

It needs to come out ASAP.

Hungryharriet · 12/08/2022 19:55

You should call 111 and explain the situation. She probably needs medical attention, especially as she has a fever. Don't leave it any longer, just call.

BadNomad · 12/08/2022 19:58

No. Do not take it out without antibiotics onboard or told to by a doctor. It will just close over and trap the infection inside.

Dalaidramailama · 12/08/2022 19:58

Yes it can’t be removed now it will trap the infection inside. It needs to heal before that point.

Cece92 · 12/08/2022 19:58

My daughter is almost 9 and got her ears done last year. Everything was fine but I think the studs were far too small for her ear. Her hair was stuck in the pack and she pulled it and yanked the earring through her ear and it got lodged. We spent 6 hours in a&e with no luck the numbing spray didn't even work. We got sent home with antibiotics and 2 days later at sick kids ready for have it surgically removed however On the way there it came out. The other one something simikiar. The back was absolutely disgusting so I had to take tweezers one night when she was asleep and pull loads of dry gunk and clean it with antiseptic spray. This time the earring naturally pushed its self out. Again I take responsibility that I probably should not have gotten her ears done but she had been asking for 2 years. She's been warned she can get them done again when she's 18 and has a job 😂

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