Mistakenly asked friend before I asked DH for help

[fledup]

I was struggling with some DIY today. A good friend of mine does a lot of DIY and has done the type of DIY I was attempting today.

My husband works a lot and is always preoccupied even when he's home ( which is rare ). My friend and I were texting anyway so I asked her what she thought I needed to do for this particular part of the project. She popped round later to show me and my husband was angry that I didn't ask him. He flew into quite a rage, actually and embarrassed me in front of my friend and called me stupid. He said I should have not asked anyone else but him.. first.

You feeling ok @Iknowthis1 ? The 1000s of current "AIBU" threads not enough for you?

MNHQ you seriously need to get rid of the similar threads thing at the bottom of threads, they are alllllll zombies!

It sounds like you have good friends who may be able to help you - talk to your friend (when he is not there or at her house) about what happened - she will be able to give her opinion on what she thinks on how he acted - she was there. Her reaction/answer might give you real food for thought on what you should do next.

He may be stressed, may have difficulties/issues about your relationship but he's a grown up - he is obliged to talk to you in a polite and respectful manner - I'm certain he manages this at work - ask why he's not bothering at home.

@BreadInCaptivity - Your post was just brilliant and I may be stealing parts of it for use in my life, where a bit of PPP goes on occasionally.

AAAGH I've been caught by a Zombie - twas worth it for @BreadInCaptivity 's post

@fledup ... this was only a few months ago - how are you doing?
You know you can keep posting for support, right?

My DH did this years ago but it was because I had asked another MALE friend - so I kind of got it (even though it was stupid) but because your friend was female I cannot see the problem! If he wants to step up and do everything needed then its a good chance for him to start!

I thought this sounded familiar but I still read several comments before I twigged the date. Doh! Why is this zombie thread revived when there's no update or developments?

Bloody hell!

Didn't check the date.

Why oh why is this able/allowed to happen?

Whats going on with all these zombie threads??!!

Once more:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/4678030-what-is-this-you-might-also-like-clutter

Anyone else struggling to see through the red flags here? That's absolutely not ok, and shows a huge need for control. Is he abusive in other areas of your marriage too?

@CoffeeMama1

The OP hasn't posted for months.
She didn't update the thread at the time so she is hardly likely to come back and do it now

Twat! You don’t need his permission. His fragile ego is his problem, not yours.

@Itwasntevenblackpudding

That "once more" appears to be a bit passive aggressive.

Like I should have somehow known?

@Itwasntevenblackpudding Yeah I noticed after I posted facepalm

@welshpolarbear

I had already posted the link on this thread a couple of hours earlier (and on several other threads today) so was perhaps unnecessarily PA.

Apologies.

You're married to knob. That's your problem. Luckily it's fairly easy to solve.

Oh these fucking threads 😫

It's because of that new "similar threads" nonsense that MN has introduced, I think. Really bloody annoying.

According to MN, 78000 people like it, so that's us told!

@willingtolearn

At the risk of further resurrection of a zombie thread - you are very welcome.

PPP often goes undiagnosed imho and that's a shame when the cure is readily available.

More like, 78,000 people clicked on it and thought 'what's this shit?' and backed out.

But I guess clicks = revenue, it doesn't matter if the clicks were worthwhile.

This