Not to wear a bra at home with teenage sons?

[PerfectRun]

A genuine question. I don't know if I'm doing what everyone does or scarring them for life!

There me and two teen sons at home. In my own upbringing, I never saw my mother downstairs without being fully dressed, she would never have dreamt of having breakfast in her dressing gown, or watching TV in PJs, for example.

In the hot weather, my standard outfit at home is shorts and a loose t-shirt with no bra. My lounge wear in the evenings is light PJ trousers and a stretch cotton cami.

If it makes a difference, I'm mid 50s, slimish and not big boobed.

They haven't said anything, but then I don't suppose they would.

My mum always took her bra off at home.

When I got to my late 30's I found out why. It's sooooooo much more comfy.

I live alone with my teenage ds. Never even bothered me or made think about it.

Its fine you are their mum they are used to you. Bras are so uncomfortable.

I'm trying to come up with a reason why this might not be okay.

What do you think the problem is?

Why would that be a problem?
you are never under any obligation to wear a bra, in or out of the house, small or large breasts.

Why would you be unreasonable?

I don’t understand how whether you wearing a bra or not under your clothes affects your teenage sons? Mine wouldn’t even notice (and I have quite large boobs) as they are too wrapped up in themselves and whatever screen they are looking at.

I personally find wearing a decent bra more comfortable than not (see big boobs above) so it’s only when I get ready for bed/in the mornings it would apply in my house but then it’s usually a baggy t-shirt and pants as I don’t like wearing PJ’s.

if they had a problem with me dressed like that in my own home they could look the other way!

In fact, you may go without your girdle, too 😉

I think, how can i word it, that in itself with good, healthy relationships and boundaries should be fine, for me personally.

On another note, i recently learned as a result of the pandemic and dressing more casually, that patterned tops hide more than plain tees. So for instance today i look very presentable in a nice cotton dress. It's sleeveless but fitted under the arms, so no peeking possible, and it's knee length and highly patterned so no one's the wiser that it's all I'm actually wearing. I can easily answer the door or pop to the shops in what feels as comfy as pyjamas!

Mines tied round my head with a packet of frozen peas in the cups.

God, I wear what I want at home (and have massive boobs) and DS never bats an eyelid.

Teenage years are a weird phase and I would follow their lead if they look/ seem uncomfortable or if they say it makes them feel weird or whatever.

But if they seem fine, well, bodies are just bodies and you should be comfortable around your own family. I certainly don't think you should be initiating any kind of discomfort around it.

Let them come to you, and if they don't, it's all fine.

I only wear a bra when I'm at work. Definitely wouldn't feel obliged to wear one in my own home.

Just to buck the trend! I have two teenage boys and have never done this (same age and build as OP). Tbh if I did it I think they would notice and feel uncomfortable about it, but that might well be because it would be a new phenomenon! Personally it's not something I'd do.

If your boys haven't said they are uncomfortable with it, then no problems . You're lucky to be small boobed that you can go bra less!

My female bff has walked about naked in her home between shower etc upstairs since hers were little - she sleeps naked anyway- and her eldest boy is now 19. They are a fairly nudist family! My DCs would have been mortified but hers use loo when she's in the (upstairs jacuzzi fancy) bath etc

I could understand embarrassment if you were big boobed like me - but even I change into a sports type bra and vest top when I get home from work as underwired bars are uncomfortable and hot.

You are a genius

Teenagers will tell you if they are unhappy about something!!

1. teenagers are never happy
2. my son is 20 and he has to put up with me and his two teenage sisters walking round in shorts and T-shirts every evening with no bra on. Hasn’t said a word
3. do what you like in your own house

As long as your skirts still cover your ankles, I think you're fine.

You’re their mum. They don’t care about your tits.

I don't think mine looked in my general direction during his teenage years.
He'd be hard pushed to describe what I'm wearing even now.

I go braless most of the time, indoors and outside. Yes I have nipples. I used to be bothered now I couldn't care less.

I'm sure your boys haven't even noticed/or couldn't care if they haven't mentioned.

I get where you're coming from OP. I've given up wearing a bra, but don't want family to notice, so I tend to wear vest type tops with built in support, underneath my top. Not really that supportive, but it stops them from 'swinging' about too much and affords a bit of 'security'.

It’s fine, wouldn’t bother me at all

As long as your top isn't transparent, I think it's fine and I do the same!

I recently saw a lady with her son at a university tour and she was wearing a beige/cream top with no bra. Everything underneath was visible and as she had a large bust, it was v. obvious. Now that was odd, IMHO. My children wouldn't have wanted me to go out braless in that top.😂

It’s completely fine OP! It would be fine if you had huge boobs too, they’re just a normal body part (and it’s not like you’re going around naked anyway).

Honestly, enjoy being comfortable without worrying about it.