Stag Do!

[AmiDaft]

My fiance had his stag do recently, i expressed i was not happy with lap dancing and any thing else further. Strip-clubs was as far as i would feel comfortable with and that was a push.

He disclosed that he had lap dancing from 3 different females and took part in a sexual show where he ate a food object from a strippers vagina. i am beyond upset but he seems to think i am overreacting.

I really don't know how to feel. Am i over-reacting to feel upset?

Does he have any assets worth marrying him for (you'd have to stay married for a while) .... hes certainly not a romantic, so you'll have to stop being one.

I'm extremely financially reliant on him.
Everytime I bring it up he just laughs and says it was a stag do and thats what goes on

Is this the first thing he has done that has made you feel crap (other than the usual things that all partners do to each other), @AmiDaft? You're in a very vulnerable position if you're financially reliant on him.

I think you don't need to make a decision about whether or not you're staying with him right now, but what you can do is make yourself a plan about how to be financially independent. Do you work? If not, can you get a job? Even though you are not married, he would have to pay for his children's upkeep. Can you find out how that would work?

If you start making these plans now then you can make a proper decision based on what you want to do rather than what you feel you have to do, and it might give you back some feeling of being in charge of your own future. If you're feeling that you can't get properly upset/angry because this guy will leave you with no money if you do, you need to start taking steps to end that situation. I think that would apply even if you're able to squash your feelings and pretend nothing ever happened.

I married in April and husband went to Prague with friends and didn’t go to strip clubs but did get drunk, he did some shooting targets and had a great time with his friends as a respectful husband that loves me would do

If you believe that you’ll believe anything. Have you ever been on a stag to Prague?

OP

You will Marry him, but rest assured once you're married this will become the running joke with "the lads!".
I am sure there were plenty of photos taken that night which will probably soon surface.
He will continue to humiliate you - but minimise your feelings!

Even now, before you're married he is laughing at you, telling you it was only a joke. He has zero respect for you as a partner!
Cop onto yourself! This will be your life if you stay with him.

What happens when he's off to the next " Lads Stag Party" 4 days FFS!
He 's already told you what to expect.
I don't believe for one second he didn't have sex on that weekend away - This is who he is!

He knows you are financially reliant on him. He's got you where he wants you. This is as good as it gets!

@Shade17 Maybe I should of also said he went as a group of just 4 of them. Also, I trust my husband. Not all men cheat, remember that. I’m his first partner, his first kiss etc.

@Shade17 I’m assuming you have been cheated on or had your partner sniff around lap dancing clubs which is why you’re projecting on me?

I’m not suggesting he cheated. The main driving factor for a Prague stag is the strip clubs. I wouldn’t believe any man who said they went there on a stag and didn’t visit a strip club. I’m sure there’s the odd one but the vast majority are there primarily for that. Also remember that what happens there is normally never spoken with outside of the group who were present. The shit that goes on there is unreal, anything is on the table as long as you’re prepared to pay for it.

@Shade17 Prague is mine and DH favourite place to go. He wanted to go with me but I was pregnant at the time with twins (unfortunately lost them both the day after he came home)

So I told him to go with his 3 friends and he did

I’m sorry you believe most men would do this, I must be lucky that my husband and our friends plus others I know wouldn’t visit them places. Of course I also know some people that do too! My DH texted me every day and us girls was sent photos constantly by them.

My DH turned down strip clubs even when he was single before he met me

I just don’t think it’s fair to say to someone you’ve never met online that they’re silly for believing their HUSBAND. Why do you think I married the man…

This. Prague literally has “escorts” who helpfully go around the bars, boat trips and all the other stag hangouts putting on sex shows. I did laugh a little when I read that. Sex and strippers are everywhere in Prague.

thats probably true in some parts, but I’ve been a few times and never seen them!

Not every man goes to them, my husband didn’t but some would, yes