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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say DS cannot cosplay

109 replies

vectorismyname · 10/08/2022 15:27

DS 14 wants to cosplay anime and I said no. My reason is I’ve seen it used as a kink in porn and people find it sexy. Hes very upset so AIBU?

OP posts:
TheMullerLightOwl · 10/08/2022 15:52

YABVU unless you know the character he wants to dress up as is a particularly sexual one from a hentai or something. Cosplay is really popular among a lot of anime lovers and is no more harmful than dressing up as a ghost for Halloween or as Harry Potter for World Book Day.

Absolutely howling at the poster who confused manga with hentai 🤣

redYellowandblue · 10/08/2022 15:54

At 14 my done did cosplay for Comic-Con’s and went to an anime conference abroad

age 25 he is quite normal (well ok he is a computer scientist but that goes with the territory)

i went to them all as well. Great fun

BuffaloCauliflower · 10/08/2022 15:54

Saying no to anime is like saying no to films - it’s the entirety of Japanese animation. There are shows and films for kids and adults and everything in between. There’s some incredible things to watch, all of Studio Ghibli amazing but that’s just a drop in the ocean. Would you ban him from watching or dressing up as any western TV show or film character because porn also exists in TV and film? That’s pretty much the leap you’re making here.

Hentai is Japanese animated porn, and yes one to avoid, but I’d approach talking to him
about that in the same way you’d approach talking to him about any porn

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2022 15:57

Was this just a racist wind-up or is OP coming back?

dreamingbohemian · 10/08/2022 15:57

Maybe it's time to learn a bit more about something your DS really enjoys?

YABU for all the reasons everyone else said

Soubriquet · 10/08/2022 16:01

Anime is fine. It’s hentai you’re thinking of

Nekomata · 10/08/2022 16:05

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2022 15:57

Was this just a racist wind-up or is OP coming back?

I'm pretty sure it's a load of bollocks, but if anyone is thinking of dressing up as Totoro or a Pokemon, I need to see a photo!

10HailMarys · 10/08/2022 16:06

'Anime' just means Japanese cartoons. You think Howl's Moving Castle is pervy? Spirited Away? Battle of the Planets back in the 80s?

Everything is a kink for someone. If you look up fan art or fanfiction for literally any popular thing, you will find porn related to it. Harry Potter? Shedloads of extremely explicit art and fiction about that. Star Wars? Same. Doctor Who? Same. Disney characters? Same.

OopsAnotherOne · 10/08/2022 16:09

Anime isn't remotely sexual, but where something exists, there will always be people out there to make a fetish from it.
Other posters compared it to saying your DS couldn't dress up as a Disney character because I'm sure there are groups of people out there who sexualise them too.
Don't let those who feel the need to sexualise cartoons stop your son from a harmless, fun activity. Cosplay isn't sexual, it's actually a very safe and accepting community. I am not a part of it myself but have friends who are, nothing they do is remotely sexualised, it's genuinely just teens and adults dressing as characters from anime shows they enjoy.
Honestly....some of their outfits and wigs look pretty cool if I'm honest!

excitingusername · 10/08/2022 16:14

I don't encourage Japanese cartoon culture. I think it has a vile, paedophilic obsession with schoolgirls. Girls are presented in an artificial, infantile and often sexualised way in all the genres from what I have seen. The highly stylised art means it doesn't matter which of the grim subgenres it is, to a foreigner it looks pretty similar. I think it is a dark, insidious thing that people - and Japan - are in denial about.

I think cosplay eventually turns people into adult babies - so that's an issue in itself possibly. Stick to your guns, if you don't like it out of principle, that's fine.

SpiderVersed · 10/08/2022 16:15

YABU - that’s like banning Bambi because Castlevania exists. There is a rich and varied range of animation, and a long tradition of cosplay within it.

Just because some people have a fetish doesn’t mean it’s all sexualised.

Zippy1510 · 10/08/2022 16:18

Ah yes all those kinky Japanese folk. No OP YABVU not to mention hugely narrow minded and prejudiced. Just because you for some reason associate all Japanese animation automatically with pornography doesn’t mean it’s all penis monsters and triple boobed ladies.

AlexandriasWindmill · 10/08/2022 16:18

It's not really the costume in itself - unless it is and he's picked an overly sexualised character - but the community around it. PPs can pretend anime cosplay is innocent and the anime fandom is wonderful but they're just showing their naivety. There are a lot of elements around anime that I wouldn't want around my teen. Same with furries. It's not a coincidence that a lot of the MRAs and paedophiles on social media have anime and furries as avatars.

I wouldn't have banned him and turned it into a drama but I would have steered mine to something different.

excitingusername · 10/08/2022 16:18

SpiderVersed · 10/08/2022 16:15

YABU - that’s like banning Bambi because Castlevania exists. There is a rich and varied range of animation, and a long tradition of cosplay within it.

Just because some people have a fetish doesn’t mean it’s all sexualised.

No because the mainstream obsession with those cartoons and specific style of art has an umbrella brand effect. I don't think it's comparable, I think people want it to be.

category12 · 10/08/2022 16:18

excitingusername · 10/08/2022 16:14

I don't encourage Japanese cartoon culture. I think it has a vile, paedophilic obsession with schoolgirls. Girls are presented in an artificial, infantile and often sexualised way in all the genres from what I have seen. The highly stylised art means it doesn't matter which of the grim subgenres it is, to a foreigner it looks pretty similar. I think it is a dark, insidious thing that people - and Japan - are in denial about.

I think cosplay eventually turns people into adult babies - so that's an issue in itself possibly. Stick to your guns, if you don't like it out of principle, that's fine.

FFS, go watch My Neighbour Totoro and stop being so racist.

AverageJoan · 10/08/2022 16:19

YABU, people use anything as kink in porn. I've seen porn where people have used The Simpsons, but that's not Matt Groening's fault.

I can understand why your son is upset and if my mum had stopped me doing something completely normal and age appropriate for such a narrow-minded, ill-informed reason I would be upset too.

Sartre · 10/08/2022 16:20

Madness. My DD’s love anime and both dressed as characters for Halloween. Kinks and porn didn’t enter my mind because why would it, they’re children… You’re being weird.

Miffee · 10/08/2022 16:21

category12 · 10/08/2022 16:18

FFS, go watch My Neighbour Totoro and stop being so racist.

Show quote history

Japan only made possessing child abuse pornography a crime in 2014.

Just saying.

Needmorelego · 10/08/2022 16:21

Oh good grief 🙄
Cosplay is just another name for dressing up. 1000s of primary school children do this for World Book Day or 'Roman/Victorian/Viking Day.
My daughter dressed as a character from Team Rocket (Pokémon) for World Book Day when she was about 9 and the character of Yellow (also Pokémon) a year later. Several teachers thought they were awesome costumes in a sea of (boring) Harry Potter's and Disney Princesses.

Lesserspottedmama · 10/08/2022 16:22

I would be wary. From everyone I’ve known/vaguely known who are involved in this, it’s often (not always) a healthy path to go down in terms of pastimes in terms of that ‘world’ or cluster of related interests. I hope my children stick to sports, theatre, outdoor pursuits etc. I realise that for some children it will be just harmless fun or even a very positive thing though.

Needmorelego · 10/08/2022 16:24

@Miffee what on earth has the beautiful children's film My Neighbour Totoro got to do with Child 'Porn' Laws?
Nothing.... that's what.

skgnome · 10/08/2022 16:24

At the risk of repeating what has been said
saying anime is porn is saying all cartoons are for kids, just because is animated as a cartoon you wouldn’t let a 3 year old watch Southpark, or at least I hope not!
japan culture is very big with teens, and anime is the general term that encompasses innocent things like Studio Ghibl and Pokémon up to X rated anime, yes some it’s hard porn and/or very violent
and the fetish link, there are all sort of kinks…
chat to him, see what he’s into, some are quite heartwarming wholesome stories

PortalooSunset · 10/08/2022 16:26

YABU.
What else do you stop him doing?

Treacletoots · 10/08/2022 16:27

I call Daily Mail on this one..

IncompleteSenten · 10/08/2022 16:27

What character does he want to dress up as?