Was I BU when I confronted this young man

[48YearsYoung]

My daughter is in year 10 and works at a chain food store. When she finishes work, she sometimes goes to the other big chain next to her workplace. This afternoon, she went there and was served by a boy from her class. When he got her drink, he took it back and shoved a wooden spoon in it and told her to go kill herself. When she told me, I went back to the store and asked to speak to the manager and the young man together. I introduced myself and recounted the events back to them both and then gave him a calm, but stern and serious talking to. I should mention that he constantly taunts and belittles the girls at school and often tells them to kill themselves. He was humble and apologetic and made no excuses. I spoke separately to the manager afterwards and apologized for insisting to speak with them both as I'm sure it was embarrassing for him. I felt it had to be done. Now that I've reflected, I realise I will feel bad if he loses his job though he will likely pay her out at school tomorrow. Did I do the wrong thing? My daughter didn't have a problem with it.

What did the manager say?

YANBU and I would schedule a meeting with the HOY once school is open to go over what happened and warn of retaliation.

Of course you did the right thing and of course he should be sacked.
He needs to take responsibility for what comes out of his mouth.
Do tell the school and definitely do name him.

Year 10 is actually 14-15 .

15-16 is year 11 in England anyway

Well done OP and I hope he does get sacked, he'll have no one to blame but himself and will hopefully learn that actions have consequences.

100% did the right thing, sounds like he needs a few of life's lessons on how to behave and not be such a shit!
On a different note, I've seen and heard a lot of younger teenagers saying this, I don't think they realise the implications of saying such nasty things or comprehend how it comes across, for a generation that is very 'feelings consious' - not sure how to word it, it shocks me they even say it

You did the right thing.
Boys and men need harsh consequences for their shite actions.

I meant I would need more information before full disclosure to school. Is he the only one or is there a culture of this unacceptable behaviour? Are other parents hearing of this etc Not all schools take bullying allegations seriously (sadly seen this and friends DD had to move school as school wouldn't believe or take seriously) and it helps to get as much info and corroboration so school can't ignore. Would definitely name but would expect assurance that bully would not find out who reported as wouldn't want to make my DDs situation worse

Be interested to know what reputable firm would countenance such behaviour from any employee, (except maybe the police or Tory party).

Yanbu if he's going to go round doing that sort of shit he needs to have some consequences. He's lucky it was you dealing with it and not angry older brothers/dad/uncles.

Well done. Definitely notify the school too for when they go back in September as it sounds like he does this all the time.

I often wonder what happens to obnoxious school bullies when they have to adapt to the world of work...and now we know. Apart from the fact that his behaviour is horrendous by any standards (at school or not) you've done him a good turn, OP, by signalling that he can't carry on with his delightful little ways at work. Great that his boss heard what you had to say too rather than just speaking to him.

You've done him and all of us a favour.

Thanks for the comments everyone. I feel less guilty about it now.
We are in Australia. They allow them to work in some of the big chains from 14 but with minimal hours until 15 and then maximum of 12 during the school term.
The main reason I feel a bit bad is because I do know he isn't well liked at school however this appears to be mainly because of his behaviour and the way he talks about girls. He may come from an abusive home based on what the girls tell me. Apparently he says that women are just here to be slaves to men and they should be treated that way. My DD and friends say he is not joking when he says this stuff.

shouldn't you be taking this up with the school ?

Doesn't matter. He still can't go round speaking to people like that.

He sounds like an incel in training!!

Hopefully being called out at work will make him think about his behaviour.

Well done, OP!

The manager listened while I told him how unprofessional and inappropriate his behaviour was. She told me after he left, she'd be bringing this to her Manager's attention as well.

Actions and consequences, as someone else said, he needs to learn.

I think he also needs help. A content, well adjusted young person does not go around telling their peers to kill themselves. As much as he deserves consequences/punishment for being a bully, ultimately, also helping him deal with whatever leads to this behaviour also makes everyone around him safer. The fact he picks on girls specifically is of concern in its own right

It sounds extreme, but working in a school myself we’re becoming increasingly aware of incels and while it’s not currently reportable under Prevent (obviously UK based, not Australia), it’s something that’s causing some waves and this boy checks the boxes. I’m not sure what procedures are with Aus schools but I would raise it as a concern with school.

I haven’t read through the comments, ignore if I’m parroting others!

He should lose his job and the school should be taking action too. He sounds like a nasty shit.

Nothing wrong - she was a customer and yes he should be sacked the parents informed and he should be suspended from school

You did exactly the right thing. Please don’t feel bad about the consequences. I’d be disappointed if the manager didn’t fire him.

He knows just what he’s saying and doing and how awful it is.

Please speak to the school, too. Someone needs to talk to his parents. The fact he’s being saying this for some time and no one has called him on it is astonishing.

In a world where young people tragically take their own lives, there should be zero tolerance for this.

Just boys and men??? All bullies need harsh consequences!

Why would you feel bad if he loses his job? He told a customer to go and kill themselves ffs! You should be hoping he loses it.

I would be contacting the school too, and yes, I absolutely would be naming the little shit to them. How else can they be expected to deal with the right person.

I'd almost be willing to bet that he has used similar language to other students in school. I've heard of this sort of thing before in a secondary school near to us. The recipient was a friend of my DD at the time and the result was the worsening of mental health issues.

It needs to be dealt with.

I used to employ young people. They are not ready for work the way they were 20-30 years ago sadly. For me, I wouldn't necessarily be firing him but my god, he wouldn't be doing it again, it would be the telling off of his life - and they'd be no second chance.

It sounds like this man needs some guidance in his life - you reporting him and bringing this up could hopefully be the making of him. Actions have consequences.

Absolutely do not feel guilty. Hope your daughter is ok.