Do beautiful women realize that ugly women are treated very differently?

[UglyNameChange]

My friend (who is very beautiful) got into a relationship not so long ago and said how she hopes I’ll be soon in one too - she knows I’d like a relationship also.
Well, few days ago she was telling me to just go to a bar and get chatted up with men, it won’t be long etc. and I’d just had to laugh, and asked her does she remember any man to ever have done that before and why would is sudenly have changed.
I think I accidentally made things akward because she went really quiet.
She pretty much can go anywhere and men will start up conversation or get asked out.

And this made me think if she genuinely thought we all have the same opportunities?

So you are all just ignoring the comments from women who found that being self confident did not stop men shouting insults, never mind being chatted up?

@TheLeadbetterLife What was her nickname?

Yes, 'righteous anger' is exactly it. As if by existing you might contaminate them.

I truly think as wonen we cannot fucking win...
So many " fat" women are stunning.
So many women with asymetrical featires are lovely...my friends were talking about nose jobs and how some women like SJP would not be as beautiful without their. " asymmetry."

On mn women are slagged off for pursuit of " beauty" ffs cannot stop using " " " " !

No they don't. Up until my mid 40s I was slim, athletic and not standard attractive, but attractive in a quirky way. I thought everyone got treated the same, and that the only difference was confidence.

I hit menopause and have put on 4 stone, my complex is crap and for some reason my teeth have gone all wonky, my quirkyness, is now a quirkymess. I'm shocked by the way I'm treated now, people don't talk to me much, I'm almost invisible these days to the opposite sex, but also to other women, it's awful tbh. I can also see it's beneficial to be attractive in the work place too. I get passed over on things (might be an age thing).

No I have friends who have been slim and beautiful all their lives and they are wonderful, intelligent women but they don’t get it. They say things like “people only treat you differently because you have less confidence” and bollocks like that. I’ve been slim and pretty, currently I am not. It’s not my attitude that makes people treat me differently to how they did before, they objectively were nicer to me in the past. Although I did also get more unwanted sexual attention then too, so swings and roundabouts.

It’s interesting to me how many very plain looking women have drop dead gorgeous dp’s so it’s not just looks that attract partners.
I had a work colleague who was neither beautiful or plain. You could guarantee on any work night out she would be chatted up. She didn’t flirt particularly, she wore very ordinary clothes but there was something about her that men loved.

Kathy Burke would look ok if she was slim, wore better make up and did something different with her hair but mostly it's her weight. This is what I mean, a lot of attractiveness is about having a slim body which most of us can control. Men are not that picky and yes some prefer bigger women but for most men a slim body on a woman makes up for so many things. Just seeing your slim silhouette walking from afar or behind you without even seeing your face is enough for men to be eyeing you up and giving you attention.

@Antarcticant

I can’t believe that’s common. Maybe some very immature boys but then they will do many stupid things just to get a rise out of anyone, it’s not worth taking to heart.

So long as it’s not insulting then I know wolf whistling and the like is frowned upon now but if it doesn’t go to far I don’t think it’s worth getting worried about your looks over. It’s a bit like the boy who picks on the girl he likes in school.

Righteous anger is a really good description, like an anger that you’re in the same spaces they are and that might somehow devalue their status.

I think it depends on taste as well.

I have been wtf at what some people find physically attractive- are they blind?

@WotsitsFingers

Agree often on Mumsnet you hear posters complain that they’re not attracted to a fat partner and that is backed up here, men are no different I think. So long as you maintain your figure (and it really only takes no overeating) at least some portion of men (age appropriate) will find you attractive.

I can only assume you are not considered unattractive by the majority.
i can assure you men shouting insults at women they think are ugly is not that uncommon.
I once got on a flight which had a stag do on. As I walked down the aisle to my seat, they all started a chorus of “who let the dogs out”.
Maybe I should have projected more self confidence.

Too outing I'm afraid! It was a play on her surname. It wasn't an unpleasant nickname, just made reference to how gorgeous she was.

Kathy Burke used to be slim. She was Perry the teenager.

I know you mean well but can you not see how hurtful this post is to people who are objectively unattractive, and have been told they are by others too many times to count?

Before she was famous.

Sounds like she is up her own arse to be honest. Maybe it's that always being attractive thing? I'm attractive to men, it's not difficult to know when you're attractive to men, and it's mainly because of how they treat you, but if you have nothing to contrast it to, you might just be under the impression that men will go for anyone? That old cliche you know?

Growing up and in my very late teens I had terrible acne so men would literally comment in the street and boys of a similar age would grimace at the idea of finding me attractive and literally laugh in my face and things.

I was attractive by early twenties and the difference was certainly palpable. I tried to explain to my partner also about the fact that if men want to shag you they treat you in an entirely different way. he had no idea, likely because he's a good guy and doesn't see all women as sex objects, but soooo many men do.

Just being nice to you is one of the things men like this will do for women they deem women, and speak to the ones they deem unattractive like utter crap.

I tried to explain to my partner also about the fact that if men want to shag you they treat you in an entirely different way. he had no idea, likely because he's a good guy

I've no doubt he is a good guy, but there's no way he didn't know this. He's a man and he'll have spent a lot of time around other men.

I agree with the poster who said sex appeal (or man appeal) is more important than what most other women define as “beauty”. For instance not many men actually find super tall women desirable and yet models are super tall and bigger framed people so women think they’re attractive to men because they’re models. But it’s not so.

Im quite short but in school and before I was married got quite a bit of attention. I think men find different things attractive in women as to what women believe is “beautiful” anyway.

I pointed out to an infinitely more beautiful friend the other day that I was now essentially invisible after gaining weight and getting a little older. She looked genuinely shocked, I think it had just never occurred to her.

I do quite like being invisible to men, groups of teenagers, most people really.... it has its perks!

You are not an 'ugly person'. No one is. We can all make the best of ourselves and smile. Telling yourself you're 'ugly' makes it true.

Lovely sentiment BUT absolute bollox!!

Lovely sentiment BUT absolute bollox!!

No way is this bollocks. Most people aren't that pretty, they're average. So many times I've looked at someone, male or female, and thought they look a bit odd/jarring. Then I speak to them, they're lovely/funny/charismatic, and they look better in appearance.

If it weren't true, only stunning people would ever get married or have sex!

He didn't say you will never be ugly or that you will be beautiful, he said that you will always look lovely. I think there's a subtle difference.

Silly example, maybe, but I remember when Susan Boyle made her first appearance on BGT. As she paused in her song, with the audience going crazy, there was a lingering shot of her smiling in pure joy and she really, really did look lovely.