Do beautiful women realize that ugly women are treated very differently?

[UglyNameChange]

My friend (who is very beautiful) got into a relationship not so long ago and said how she hopes I’ll be soon in one too - she knows I’d like a relationship also.
Well, few days ago she was telling me to just go to a bar and get chatted up with men, it won’t be long etc. and I’d just had to laugh, and asked her does she remember any man to ever have done that before and why would is sudenly have changed.
I think I accidentally made things akward because she went really quiet.
She pretty much can go anywhere and men will start up conversation or get asked out.

And this made me think if she genuinely thought we all have the same opportunities?

Also generalising bollocks.

As other posters suggested, I think finding a hobby you're interested in might be a good way to meet guys. Do you like board gaming? There's loads of just turn up and play board gaming groups in Sheffield. Don't know what's it's like near you. (probably have more men than women too)

You're reading too much into the phrase. My DH has had friends and acquaintances jokes he's punching with me. He's not really, we're the same level of attractiveness. Im definitely no beauty, cute in an awkward-pretty way, though

It's just a way of poking fun in a banter way, and complimenting the woman. I've never taken it to mean he's unattractive or that I only have my looks going for me (as if!)

Sorry, in response to Milly.

In the context of a discussion about the different experiences of beautiful and not beautiful women? I can't see anything wrong with a person recognising that they happen to be conventionally attractive and explaining how things differ when their condition makes their skin unsightly.

Are actresses who play beautiful characters wrong to be aware that they have a certain type of look? Does humility require delusion?

I always found the 'homelier' girls got the better relationships and settled down first, they may get 'less attention at the bar' but the men that did notice them saw them for THEM not as a notch on the bedpost to brag to friends about and throw away.

They got the serious men who wanted to settle not fuck about.

Most my average looking friends (myself included) have settled down and have been for decades many of my model friends (I worked in the industry when young) are still single in their 40s with a trail of bad short relationships with arsehole (and they arent bad people so thats not it, they just attract the wrong men).

@Mississipi71

Do you find it an attractive trait for somebody to declare themselves beautiful? No wonder they changed their name.

If someone has a great memory are they allowed to mention it in a discussion specifically about memory, or is that conceited?

If someone is very fit and sporty are they allowed to mention it on a thread about their chosen sport, or is that conceited?

If someone is a professional musician are they allowed to mention that they have a natural aptitude for musical ability, or is that conceited?

Your unnecessarily shitty posts reflect the fact that society wants women to be careful never to address their strengths or the reality of their appearance.

You sound like the kind of person who sees any celebration of personal success or self worth as 'showing off' or 'being full of yourself'. It's ok to like things about yourself or even just notice positive qualities, lucky genetics etc.

That poster you responded to (accusing her of lacking humility) wrote thoughtfully and with clear insight, about her personal experiences.

You've behaved like a bully. I don't know many people who find that an attractive quality tbh.

how things differ when their condition makes their skin unsightly

That was definitely the point I was going for! Didn't realize it would be so controversial, I thought that was the theme of the thread. I'm the same person on the inside and the way I get treated is night and day. People are very, very stuck on the idea that looks determine 'good' or 'bad' in a person. There's something almost primitive about it.

Stoma · Today 19:35

I'm no prude but I ask you, why use the word "punching"?

Why can they not just say something like "your other half is attractive mate you lucky devil" or some such? There has to be a "punch" in there doesn't there?

Same, its a common joke because men want to banter with their mate by mocking them but dont want to offend their wife 'punching above your weight' does that by winding him up and not insulting her.

No, I had no idea it was controversial either. Hence questioning that poster because it was such a blimmin' weird response.

You no idea, but it's just a turn of phrase. No different to punching the air with regret/excitement as far as I'm aware

Ignore the random 'you', oops!

And punching is of course, short for punching up. No sinister intent behind it.

Or punching above your weight.

I don’t know why everyone here seems to be assuming they are really ugly. I Am
sure you are all perfectly lovely.

If I think about who I have fancied in my life it is often the one with a glint in their eye.

I am sitting here with huge ankles and a few new Chins and belly (heavily pregnant) but I am gonna take this thread to inspire myself to tell myself how lovely and gorgeous I am.

a shame we don’t all assume that way and rather assume the other .

From newly named sexy gorgeous gal.

Bully, for having an opinion? That makes you one then. Self praise is no recommendation. That is all I have got to say to your lengthy rant.

@Mississipi71

Self praise is no recommendation.

Christ, what a sad sentence.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with people recognising and celebrating strengths, achievements and realities.

Just as there is nothing wrong with people recognising and working on weaknesses and trauma.

I seriously doubt you're ugly OP, very few people are. I've had the type of looks where I've been chatted up my whole life (mostly unwanted attention btw) coupled with very low self-esteem from a competitive mother who was always pointing out my flaws growing up . The attention more often than not made me feel uncomfortable and was sometimes quite aggressive in its nature. Luckily I'm older now and more assured, so the attention is less and when it happens, I'm more confident to shut it down if it makes me uncomfortable. Being sexy/good looking or whatever you want to call it can be a double-edged sword. For every ten men who chat you up, maybe one is a decent guy, the others are players or just entitled twats. Truly beautiful women (I mean stunning, model types) rarely get chatted up as men feel intimidated by them.

I don't hear people saying it about themselves, maybe others. That is why I used the word humility. There is nothing wrong with celebrating something but who gets to determine who is beautiful and who is ugly? As I said earlier, it is very shallow. I repeat self praise is no recommendation.

who gets to determine who is beautiful and who is ugly?

We all do, of course.

But there are certain aesthetics that are generally considered attractive by convention. It's not a crime to recognise if you happen to fit one of them.

It's something else to think it makes you inherently better than other people (you know, like a moralistic superiority complex), or to throw the fact around for no reason, but it's not a requirement to be blind or deluded. Presumably models and film stars are aware that they have what their job requires? If you know you're good at maths or running, why wouldn't you know if you happen to be conventionally good looking?

And why shouldn't you mention it in a discussion about the pros and cons of beauty?

This is so interesting. Historically of course, looks were absolutely associated with a person’s worth, indeed their morality. To be beautiful in terms of looks was generally assumed to reflect something positive about the individual. Then of course there is the research showing that even babies respond better to people with more symmetrical looks. Greater symmetry is associated with physical beauty, and is often a sign of a stronger immune system. Parents, according to research, unconsciously tend to favour the child who is more conventionally attractive, even when their children are babies. Again this links to symmetry, immune systems, and likelihood of survival. All of which is not say that attitude and charisma don’t have a part to play, because of course they do, but the fact remains that at a certain very primitive level we as a species are hardwired to find certain physical attributes attractive, and to show preference to the individuals who display these.

I won't be changing my opinion. To class yourself as beautiful is an unattractive trait. It is my belief. Two posters vehemently fighting for the post I responded to. As you were.

After giving birth to my first child and going up 4 sizes because pp weight just wouldn't go, having overall tired skin, every day bad hair day etc.... compared to how I was treated before? Night and day. I didn't ever think twice about all the random compliments and people going out of their way (not even just men!!!!) to help me do favours for me.
during the time I was bigger and didn't take much care of myself due to being exhausted with a baby I could sit down in the middle of the road crying and the cars would just go around me without ever stopping to ask what's wrong lmao